63 Steps To Survive The Worst Moments Of Their own lives March 11, 2019March 9, 2019 by estebanoreilly estebanoreilly No comments yet Step 1 : Slap yourself in the face. Hard, preferably. Because if a slap in the face seems too painful to consider, then whatever problem youre dealing with right now is really not that big of a problem. Youre likely simply milking it for attention or the chance to feel sorry for yourself. Its only when youre genuinely wallowing in the depths of ache and failing that you think, Hah! Slap myself in the face? Thats nothing compared to my problem. Watch, Ill do it three times. So either slap yourself or shut your mouth and get on with your life. Step 2 : Dont compare your suffering to others. No, it doesnt matter if your brother had something twice as bad happens to him last year. It doesnt matter if your cousin got hit by a auto and never complained about it. You dont actually know these things, so you dont get to compare yourself to these things. We all feel things slightly differently. Therefore we all suffer slightly differently. Stop measuring how much of a right you have to feel bad and just let yourself feel bad. Step 3 : Identify the feeling. What is it? Anger? Grief? Jealousy? Sadness? Despair? Step 4 : Dont repress it. Repressing negative feelings kills you. 1 , 2 Thats kind of literal. That means if someone close to you asks, How are things? You respond with, I feel like dog shit , not with, Oh, Im greeeeeeat, and then run away to cry into your cereal bowl and wonder why nobody in the world cares about you. Speaking of which Step 5 : Go ahead and cry if you need to. No dishonor. Its healthy. 3 We all need to cry sometimes. Step 6 : Seriously. Dont worry. I wont make fun of you. I promise. Step 7 : See, doesnt that feel nice? You want some tissues? A hug perhaps? Step 8 : Solicit Mark for a free hug. There may be some logistical issues involved, but whatever. Its the thought that counts, right? Step 9 : Blame somebody else for all of your ache. Now that youve cried it out, lets get at whats really important: whose faulting is this? Who is the moronic here? Figure out who that person is ASAP so we can lynch the bastard. Step 10 : Once youve figured out who to blame, immediately forgive that person. No matter how hard it is. 4 Step 11 : Identify what could have done better. Maybe what happened to you wasnt your faulting, but that doesnt mean that you couldnt have handled it better. What did mess up? What do you wish you could go back and change? Step 12 : Immediately forgive yourself too. We all could be better. 5 Step 13 : Understand that life has costs. Anything good in life necessitates some sort of danger or sacrifice. No exceptions. None of us make it through life without a few scars. Step 14 : Understand that pain , no matter how deep, eventually passes. Nothing lasts. It will eventually get better. Step 15 : Understand that at the bottom of every shithole theres buried gold. Stop trying to climb out and start looking for it. Step 16 : Tell somebody close to you how “youre feeling”. Expect nothing from them in return. If they dont hug you, I will. Step 17 : Tell them Ill Be OK even if you dont believe it yet. Because youre right, you will be OK. Even if youre dying, you will be OK. Step 18 : If you have nobody to tell how “youre feeling”, then talk to a therapist or a support group. Theres a subsistence group for practically everything these days. Perhaps go to one even if you do have somebody to talk to. Step 19 : If youre nervous about the whole therapist/ support group thing, print out copies of this picture of a dog in a taco suit and depict it to everybody when you arrive. Step 20 : OK, you dont have to do that. But its funny to think about. Step 21 : Promise yourself that youll do something nice for somebody less fortunate than you. Nothing builds us happier than when we construct others happy. 6 Donate to a charity. Give someone a gift. Buy a homeless man a haircut. Step 22 : Then actually run do it. Step 23 : Dont tell anybody you did it. Dont take a selfie of you and the homeless man and his new haircut and post it on Facebook. Maintain it as your own special secret. Step 24 : Dont be afraid to be alone sometimes. Become your own best friend. Step 25 : Come up with three life lessons from this shitty situation. This is the hard work. This is the unfun stuff. Its so much easier to hop online and blame person and post angry comments on Reddit and YouTube. But this is the most important step. So take it seriously. What can this horrible experience teach you? How can you use it to attain something better of yourself? Come up with three routes. Write them down if you need to. Step 26 : Promise yourself that youll take advantage of these lessons and be better next time. Step 27 : Tell yourself that its actually good that this deity nasty thing happened to you and that maybe you will be grateful for it one day. Step 28 : Then realize that youre probably lying to yourself. Sometimes things simply suck. Step 29 : Refrain from stabbing somebody, including yourself. This one is important. 7 Step 30 : Understand that most things in life are both good and bad at the same time. What changes is our perspective. Step 31 : Pour yourself a drink. But skip this step if you are: a) an alcoholic, b) have a medical condition that prevents alcohol use, c) already drunk, or d) 12 -years-old. Step 32 : Take a moment to think about all of the things in their own lives that are amazing. If you cant think of anything, think harder. This article might help. Step 33 : Consider how fortunate you are to have those amazing things in your life. I mean, you could have been born in 14 th century Africa and had your penis cut off. Step 34 : Come up with three routes your life could be way, route, route worse. Theres always a worse. Step 35 : If you cant come up with anything, take an afternoon and go visit your local childrens cancer ward. Step 36 : Or just google it and then lie and say you visited one. Step 37 : Start feeling actually guilty once you realise youre not a child who has fucking cancer. Step 38 : Immediately forgive yourself. Step 39 : Pour yourself another drinking. Cancer sucks. Step 40 : Watch this video of a cat in a shark suit chasing a duck on a Roomba. Step 41 : Understand that the internet is frickin amazing. Step 42 : But dont post some wishy-washy thing on Facebook looking for pity. Thats shallow and counter-productive. Step 43 : And dont run trolling other people and using your sadness/ anger/ detest as an excuse to fuck with other people, even if online. Step 44 : Dont give into the exhort to stereotype. The internet induces this too easy. Simply because your wife left you doesnt mean all women are superficial whores. Just because your friends didnt know how to act at your papas funeral doesnt mean people are shallow and heartless. The world is a complicated place. Step 45 : Tell your mom you love her. Email her. Call her. Text her. Whatever, shes your mother. If you dont have a mom, tell your sister. If you dont have a sister, tell your best friend. If you dont have a best friend, tell the mailman. Step 46 : Understand that mailmen require love too. We all do. Step 47 : Practice patience. Pain takes time to resolve. There are 63 steps on this thing for a reason. Step 48 : Do something nice for yourself. Feed some ice cream. Play some video games. Masturbate. Or do all of the above at the same time. Step 49 : If you still feel shitty, then sleep on it. Step 50 : If you cant sleep, make sure you stopped drinking. Step 51 : Set your alarm the next morning. Get up and make sure you do something useful and productive first thing , no matter how awful it feels and no matter how much you dont want to. Even if its a small thing. Step 52 : Meditate. Step 53 : Sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. Its a new day! Preferably do it in the shower or auto so nobody has to listen to you. Step 54 : If you havent already , now is the time to stop crying. If you cant, return to Step 7 and recur the process until you do. Step 55 : Remember those three lessons you used to convince yourself that this was a good thing for like two minutes yesterday? Decide how you can implement one of those lessons today and then go do it. Step 56 : Repeat Steps 47 -5 5 for anywhere from the next three weeks to the next three years. Its OK. Well wait for you. Step 57 : Remember: patience. Step 58 : Get out of the house and run be social. Even if you dont want to. Step 59 : When youre with a group of people who like you, tell them about the painful horrible thing that happened a while back. Tell them something funny about it. Laugh together about it. Step 60 : Laugh at how much you cried. Laugh at how you couldnt sleep. Laugh at how you masturbated while feeing ice cream. Step 61 : Realise that youre not alone. People care. Even if they dont always know how to demonstrate it. Step 62 : Realise that in hindsight, the ache is always far less important than it first seemed. Step 63 : Realize that your problems are not special or unique, that are not specialand unique. And this is good news. Because it means that you will never ever have to suffer alone. Read more: Post navigation What an Obamacare replacement could look like under Tom PriceChiropractor who questioned vaccinations surrenders professional licence – CTV News Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. 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