Love burgers? Here’s 6 ways to build your habit healthier

Theres no dishonor in enjoying a juicy burger every now and then. Just make sure to incorporate some healthy habits to keep your red meat intake and any associated health risks at bay.

These easy tips-off will help you have a healthier cook out 😛 TAGEND 1. Lighten up the bun .

The vessel for your favorite BBQ food usually adds about 150 to 200 calories, and thats on top of the 400 -plus-calorie burger, tells Natalie Rizzo, registered dietitian and proprietor of Nutrition a la Natalie in New York City. Instead, opt for a lettuce-wrapped burger, which will reduce the calories, add some nutrients, and even give you a little hydration boost.


Cant live without the bread? Look for a whole-grain version to pack more filling fiber into to your meal.

2. Swap in some veggies .

Americans are ingesting too much heart-unhealthy saturated fat in their diet, with the majority of it coming from meat dishes such as burgers, tells Joan Salge Blake , a doctor of education, registered dietitian nutritionist and clinical associate prof of nutrition at Boston University. To decrease the amount of saturated fat in your burger but not the size of it utilize half the amount of lean ground beef and add tons of diced onions, mushrooms and peppers. Your burger patty will still be a robust sizing but with more heart-healthy veggies.

3. Serve a power side .

Whip up a lentil salad, roast some chickpeas , or top a green salad with black or pinto beans. Bean, lentils, dried peas and other legumes boast resistant starches. These starches help reduce the colon cancer risk thats linked with eating a diet high in red meat, per 2014 research in Journal of the National Cancer Institute.


4. Sprinkle on some rosemary .

One of the best things you can do to keep your burger healthy is to slash heterocyclic amines( HCAs ), the carcinogens created during the grilling process, say Tammy Lakatos Shames and Lyssie Lakatos, registered dietitian nutritionists and co-founders of 21-Day Body Reboot . You can do this by adding rosemary to your burger[ and marinade] before you grill it. The potent antioxidants found in the rosemary can reduce HCAs by as much as 90 percent.

5. Kraut up your burger .

Sauerkraut does more than give your burger a delicious flavor boost, tells Rizzo. Its actually a good source of probiotics, aka the good bacteria that live in your intestine. These bacteria contribute to the health of your intestine and are essential for a healthy digestive tract and immune function. Certain things like an unhealthy diet, undue stress, or a harsh round of antibiotics can impact the balance and health of the probiotics in the stomach. So its important to feed your gut with natural sources of probiotics, like sauerkraut. Not all sauerkrauts offer probiotics so shop for one that isnt pasteurized, entailing it should have its beneficial bacteria intact.

6. Opt for mini burgers .

If you feel overstuffed and lethargic after feeing a large burger with fries, order sliders off the cocktail menu instead, tells Stephanie McKercher, a registered dietitian nutritionist and recipe developer at The Grateful Grazer in Conifer, Colo. You’ll still get all the delicious flavors of a regular hamburger, but sliders are easier to save for afterwards or split with a friend. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even try grilling your own at home.

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Her Chronic Pain Was a Medical Mystery. Was It an Unexplained Condition?

Leslie Levine’s searing pains started the day after Thanksgiving in 2006. They began in her toes, which turned strangely dark. Then the agony crept upward.” It felt like my legs were being dipped in simmering petroleum 24/7 ,” she said.

The emergency room and a series of physicians could do little but scratch their heads and offer her painkillers.

” I was living on oxycodone and very grateful for it ,” Levine said, then Harvard University’s chief patent attorney. But it wasn’t enough.” By January, I was on disability, because I was in such pain and could hardly stroll .”

Her internet search for answers resulted her to Dr. Anne Louise Oaklander, a neurologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, who was then developing a hypothesis about inexplicable pain disorders like Levine’s: What if they were caused by an overactive immune system?

Oaklander treated Levine as if that were the lawsuit and the pain–thankfully–disappeared within five days.” I didn’t know how I was going to live with that level of pain ,” Levine said, adding that it returns every time she stops treatment.

Now, Oaklander has published a series of 55 case reports including Levine’s, suggesting that a number of people who suffer pain or other neurologic symptoms–which may have been diagnosed as fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, mental illness, or a host of other problems.

Oaklander thinks that some percentage of people who have small fiber neuropathy–which can be caused by diabetes, chemotherapy, or other toxins–actually have a previously undiagnosed autoimmune problem.

Although it’s too soon to say how many people might be affected by this autoimmune-related small-fiber polyneuropathy, nearly 50 million Americans complain of regular or chronic ache. If even a fraction of them could be effectively treated with autoimmune therapies rather than high-dose analgesics, they may get better relief without risking an opioid addiction, said Oaklander, “whos also” an associate professor of neurology, at Harvard Medical School.

” This is not just some rare, esoteric cancer that Harvard eggheads are investigating ,” she told.” It is common. People–including children and teens–are sick, but they don’t know what they have and their doctors don’t know, either .”

Small-fiber polyneuropathy, in which nerves misfire, is common among people with diabetes or who have been treated with chemotherapy. But in roughly half the patients who suffer the same pain, numbness, or rub, there isn’t any obvious cause.

The same tiny nerves also line the intestine, Oaklander said, so people with this condition can have gastrointestinal symptoms, such as nausea or vomiting when they try to eat–which often get misdiagnosed as an eating disorder. Even fainting when standing up or difficulty getting out of bed can be caused by damage to these small nerve cells, she said.

In Oaklander’s study, 55 largely female patients all had objective measures of damage to small-fiber peripheral nerve cells and no diabetes or other known cause of neuropathy.

All were treated with intravenous immunoglobulin or IVIg, a therapy effectively used against other autoimmune-related nerve conditions. The case review showed that 77 percentage of the patients responded to IVIg, with their pain falling on average from 6.3 to 5.2 on a 10 -point scale. Their internal organ function also improved.

It’s still too soon to declare that Oaklander’s detected a new condition, and certainly no one recommends starting autoimmune therapy for anyone with unexplained pains.

But Marinos Dalakas, director of the Neuromuscular Division at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, says her results are persuading enough to encourage him to exam some of his pain patients for markers of autoimmune disease. If he found such signs, Dalakas said he would try them for three months on a therapy like IVIg to see if their symptoms improve.

To definitively prove that IVIg is effective for appropriately selected patients, person would have to conduct two, big, expensive clinical trials, likely to take 5-10 years. Oaklander has already applied to the National Institute of Health for a research grant to prepare for one such trial.

Still, to have advanced the social sciences this far was ” courageous ,” one colleague said.

” It takes great courage to persist, to believe in your data, and to press on in the face of skeptics ,” Stephen Hauser, chairman of the neurology department at the University of California, San Francisco School of Medicine, told The Daily Beast.” I think the world is beginning to catch up to Anne Louise .”

Before changing his own medical practise, Hauser said he would want to see the results of a large, blinded trial, and confirmation that IVIg or the other autoimmune therapy offers pain patients a significant improvement in their quality of life.

” I do guess these patients represent a huge problem for the medical community for which better treatments are sorely required ,” Hauser added.

IVIg, which has side effects like nausea, headaches, and flu-like symptoms, must be delivered via infusion. And it’s pricey–costing $10,000 per monthly dose–because each dosage contains purified proteins from 5,000 -8, 000 blood donors who have been screened for infectious diseases, Hauser said.

The therapy runs, Oaklander said, because” it bamboozles the immune system ,” overwhelming it with harmless proteins to confuse it from attacking the nerves.

If an autoimmune condition persists untreated, continued attacks can leave permanent nerve injury, Oaklander told.” It’s really important that physicians acknowledge when neuropathy is autoimmune and dampen down the attack as soon as possible .” But that hadn’t previously been recommended.

She periodically dials back her patients’ IVIg to see if their nerves have mended enough to stop therapy. About 16 percent of the patients in the case review were able to wean off their IVIg without their symptoms returning.” If you can protect the nerves for a period and let them regrow, the autoimmune attack may die down ,” she said.

Oaklander said she hopes her new paper, published in the publication Therapeutic Advances in Neurological Disorders , will give patients some ammunition when they ask their insurance company to pay for autoimmune therapy.

Levine’s insurance company refused to pay for IVIg therapies for four years, insisting she take much less expensive steroids, instead. But the steroids didn’t help nearly as much and their side effect would land her in the hospital every few months, Levine told. Finally, realizing that IVIg would be cheaper, her insurer let her back on the treatments two years ago–and she’s been side-effect free since.

” I just had my monthly therapy this morning ,” Levine, who now operates a support group for people with neuropathy, said. “It’s changed my life.”

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How To Get Your Ex Back By Remaining Close To Their Friend And Family

The 3 week cut off period during which you shouldn’t speak to your ex post breakup isn’t just about non-communication. Its also about organizing an action plan and putting it into operation.

And none more important than preserving a useful relationship with both your ex’s family and friends. I say useful, because these two parts of your exs world can be extremely powerful in influencing your ex back into your arms.

Ok, what should I be doing?

Lets take each one of these in turn 😛 TAGEND Her Family : If you have been on good terms with her family, say her mom or her friend, ring them up and say goodbye. You’ll want to come across as caring and genuine as is practicable during this telephone call. The reason you ring them is not really for a goodbye as such but to leave them with the most positive impression possible of you.

If you do this, they’ll be on your side when they talk about this phone call to her and generally will give your ex the impression she’s losing a great guy. If they say,” I hope we’ll still be friends”, agree to this offer so you can stay in their lives. Try not to talk to them about the break up, as you don’t want to set them in the awkward situation of taking sides. They’ll take sides of their own accord however by being genuine now, you will help them over to your side.

Her Friends : You can use her friends to create a disarray strategy on your ex. Neither your ex nor her friends will be “in” on this tactic, merely you. You’ll need 2 of her close friends, lets call them Friend A and Friend B. When you gratify Friend A tell her you’ve got lots of exciting things going on right now that its helping you get over your ex . Say that you still miss your girlfriend but you’ve changed a lot since the break up and look forward to the future.A few days later when you gratify Friend B, recur the above but omit all references to your ex. From this, when they talk about their meetings with you to your ex, they’ll give her conflicting reports on whether you still miss her or not. Making confusion in your ex right now is will be a key aid in get her back.

How to get my ex back with this info

The above instances should be used in trying to get an ex back but they are only pointers and not the complete picture. Far more run needs to be done to ensure she falls in love with you.

I go through the full set of steps in the book” THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Employing Psychology” By maintaining on good terms with her family and friends, it will make it more difficult for her to move on without you.

Family and friends form a major part of anyone’s life. Consequently, people tend to regard their thoughts and sentiments in high regard. This is something that relates to their opinion of whether you both made a good couple or not. So having a positive foothold in their intellects attains it that bit easier to get your ex back

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Marijuana to the Glory of God

How are we to think about recreational cannabis use in the church?

By Jeff Lacine

I are applied to smoke marijuana every day.

Sixteen years ago, when I was in my late teens, cannabis was a big part of my life. Today it continues to confront me as a clergyman in a city where recreational marijuana is legally celebrated. Our church office is directly across the street from a dispensary where I can legally buy a pre-rolled joint for seven dollars.

How are we to think about recreational cannabis use in the church? A growing number of Christians today believe that it is biblically permissible to utilize cannabis recreationally. Are they right?

Cannabis Versus Alcohol

Quick, pat answers to the question of recreational cannabis use are often unhelpful. Answers without nuance will not best serve the church in the long run. To say that alcohol is permissible and cannabis is not, because Christians drink brew and wine for the savor but people merely smoke pot to get stoned, just wont do. Such a simplification distorts the truth.

For one, Christians dont drink beer and wine merely for the taste. Even moderate drinking, which is biblically permissible, has lubricating psychoactive effects. From a biblical view, this lubricating impact can be acceptable. While drunkenness is clearly prohibited( Ephesians 5:18; Romans 13:13; Galatians 5:1921; 1 Peter 4:3 ), God has given wine to gladden the heart of man( Psalm 104:1415 ).

However, evangelical churches sometimes have proscribed the use of alcoholamong members because the Bible forbids drunkenness. This is a mistake. The Bible alerts us against such extra-biblical prohibitions( 1 Timothy 4:3; Colossians 2:1623 ). Scripture permits the moderate utilize of alcohol, when it can be enjoyed in religion, even though it has psychoactive effects.

Does God, then, also permit the recreational use of cannabis? Should we treat cannabis like alcohol in the church? Is it okay to light up around the campfire just like it may be to enjoy wine at a wedding?

Similarities and Dissimilarities

Lets analyse this commonly used comparison between alcohol and cannabis. The following are styles that cannabis and alcohol are similar and dissimilar.

Ways that cannabis is like alcohol 😛 TAGEND Cannabis, like alcohol, is an organic substance. Cannabis, like alcohol, may then intoxicate and distort reality. Cannabis, like alcohol, has different effects on someone who employs it regularly than a person who had employs it occasionally.( In other terms, tolerances can be built up with regular marijuanas use similar to the way tolerances can be built up with regular alcohol use .) Cannabis, like alcohol, can be habit-forming( watch 1 Timothy 3:8 ).

The country set to cash in on climate change

Record temperatures threaten traditional ways of life in Greenland but as the sea ice retreats, new mining, fishing and tourism investments possibilities are helping communities to adapt

Asked if he is fearful about the impact of climate change, Tnnes Kaka Berthelsens response is typical of many Greenlanders. We are more worried about the Maldives, he told bluntly.

Greenland has lived with extreme environmental changes for a decade or more. Sea ice is forming 2 months later and melting one month earlier. River fed by retreating glaciers are at record levels. And temperature records were smashed twice this year, with stunned meteorologists rechecking their measurings after 24 C was recorded in the capital, Nuuk, in June.

Traditional hunters are giving up their dog squads because there is three months less hunting on sea ice but climate change is no disaster, according to Berthelsen, the deputy manager of Knapk, Greenlands hunters and fishers association. The 56,000 dwellers of the largest island in the world that is not a continent must adapt, fast.

In the sea, new fish species are arriving. On land, the melting ice is set to uncover a wealth of zinc, iron, uranium, gold, and rare earth components that some predict is likely to be the largest deposits outside China.

Greenland believes that climate change will bequeath the wealth to win the ultimate political prize: full independence from Denmark. The country gained self-rule in 2009 but its economy is still sustained by a 3.2 bn kroner( 362 m) annual grant from its former colonial masters.

The vast majority more than 90% of Greenlands export income is from fish, and 2016 was the best ever year, according to Berthelsen. Greenlands pink gold, cold-water shrimp, is moving further north and new fish species mackerel, herring, cod and Atlantic bluefin tuna are entering the countrys waters. We havent considered such big cod stocks since the 1970 s, said Berthelsen.

But in the far north, climate change is hastening the decline of hunting. The traditional way of life is very challenged, said Bjarne Ababsi Lyberth, a biologist and hunting expert for the Association of Fishers and Hunters. People used to go hunting for weeks on the sea ice. They would go so far out they couldnt insure any land. Now they can traveling merely for one day by ocean ice, theres too much open water and its unstable.

Greenland has three climate forms polar, Arctic and sub-Arctic and the effects on the nation, its people and wildlife are varied. In the polar region, hunters report that polar bears havent changed much told Lyberth, and still look in good health. Further south, the bears have less body fat and are considered more frequently near villages, scavenging for food. Hunters also find it is impossible to store their meat in caches on the ice, as they once did, because hungry polar bears take it.

The changes that Europe and the rest of the world are becoming aware of have been going on in Greenland for 10 or 20 years, said Lyberth. Its not something that scares people. Its more a question of adapting.

Dog squads and Inuit hunters in Qaanaaq, Greenland, heading out in the spring during the period of the midnight sunshine. Photo: Louise Murray/ Alamy

Losing three months of sea ice means that hunters are getting rid of their puppy teams, which are expensive to feed and preserve, and switching to angling. But during the long wintertime darkness it is easier to hunt on ice with puppies than take a boat out fishing.

Climate change not only has an economic impact but an enormous impact on culture and how we are dealing with traditional lifestyles, told Aleqa Hammond, the countrys former “ministers “, the first female to be elected in 2013, and now a member of the Danish parliament.

Greenlanders are very good at assuring the new opportunities. We have simply refused to be victimised due to climate change. I am very optimistic. I find more positive options for the country than negatives. I wish that it wasnt happening but it is and thats a fact. Once its there you have an obligation to do the best out of it.

Lyberth gives the example of hunters forming small teams to target minke whales as an example of rapid adaptation: It involves skills and knowledge but the hunters are learning very quickly. But Hammond says investment is required to turn hunters into fishermen: Moving from hunting to fishing is not an easy task for many it requires quite a bit of investment both in equipment but also knowledge to ensure they will be capable of making a living as fishermen.

New processing facilities will be built in Greenland so it can export value-added cod fillets rather than the whole fish: migrant labour may be required to staff these new facilities.


Greenlanders can now buy home-grown potatoes and salad in Nuuk supermarkets but many southern farmers have fought with drought in 2015 and 2016. Grass growth is stunted, sheep are smaller, and farmers are forced to buy winter food rather than use their own fodder. The number of sheep farmers has fallen from 74 in 1983 to about 37 today.

Self-sufficiency in food may be a long way off but 70% of Greenlands energy is now renewable hydropower from melt-fed rivers. Hammond speaks of 100% renewable energy, and attracting energy-hungry server farms, which companies such as Google and Facebook typically situate inside the Arctic Circle. She also predicts a growth in tourism with ships entering newly ice-free fjords. Greenland is becoming a new tourist frontier, she said.

But the vision of a climate-changed Greenland as a tourist-friendly wilderness is challenged by the rapid industrialisation that will occur if Greenland becomes a big mining nation.

Greenlands move towards freedom in 2009 crucially included ownership of its own mineral reserves. Numerous exploratory licences have been issued to multinational mining companies. According to the governments Ministry of Mining Resources, Greenlands first mines a feldspar minerals mine and a ruby and pink sapphire mine are expected to go into production in 2017. Other mining projects include a zinc mine and a rare earth parts mine, drilling for gold in Nuuk fjord, and promising exploratory drilling for a nickel-copper-cobalt mine.

If or when the mining boom takes off, Greenlands indigenous population is likely to be dwarfed by migrant labour. Small countries suddenly enriched by mining often experience corruption or social problems but Hammond insists Greenland has prepared strong laws governing labour rights and mining royalties. The country has established a fund modelled on Norways oil-derived sovereign wealth fund.

Greenlands prime minister, Kim Kielsen, with an oil-bearing stone from Nuuk. Photograph: Alister Doyle/ Reuters

Greenlands parliament has adopted a mineral money but it doesnt mean well be going round with a million dollars in each pocket, said Hammond. It will not be used in the short-term but will ensure that Greenland is set up for bad days and used with good sense and with a unanimous vote in the parliament.

Sren Hald Mller, permanent secretary for Greenlands prime minister, Kim Kielsen, said the government viewed climate change as a concern, shortening the winter ice season in the north and stopping winter hunting and fishing.

We know that climate change also creates new opportunities, for example in new pelagic[ cod, herring, mackerel] fisheries. But still , no one can simply leap from one occupation to another that is completely different, Mller tells. My hope is that we as a society can adapt in the best possible route to the climatic changes, simply because we as a nation and as a people cannot prevent it.

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What an all-powerful Xi Jinping means for the rest of the world

Hong Kong( CNN) When US President Donald Trump visits China next month, he won’t be the most powerful person in the room.

Chinese President Xi Jinping further shored up his grip on power Wednesday, exposing a new leadership without an obvious successor and decided the stage for him to dominate politics in the country for decades to come.

That devotes him a level of stability and influence the jealousy of most world leaders, sitting atop the world’s second-largest economy and one of its strongest militaries without any obvious challenger or check on his power.

Trump, Germany’s Angela Merkel and the UK’s Theresa May all face intense opposition at home, while even Russia’s Vladimir Putin cannot boast the stability and economic security Xi’s administration has.

If you’re a kid with allergies, watching a pumpkin like this will construct Halloween more fun.

On Halloween, kids should be excited about their awesome costumes.

What they definitely shouldn’t be worrying about? How scary a trip-up to the ER could be after an allergic reaction.

But for children with food allergies( and their parents ), the exhilaration of operating doorway to door and asking for a trick or a treat can be overwhelmed by the stress of a seriously dangerous reaction to the ingredients in the candy.

That’s where the Teal Pumpkin Project comes in.

Photo via Food Allergy Research and Education, used with permission.

A few years ago in East Tennessee, neighbours came together to raise awareness for food allergies. How? By placing teal pumpkins outside their doors on Halloween to signify that those houses are safe for trick-or-treaters who have allergies .

Any tiny ghost, little Superman, or mini Princess Elsa could stop by a teal pumpkin house to get a non-food treat, like a small toy or a glow stick.

The Teal Pumpkin Project took off operating, and this is the second year that Food Allergy Research and Education( FARE) has promoted it nationally .

“Halloween can be a tricky hour for families managing food allergies because many traditional Halloween treats aren’t safe for children with life-threatening food allergies, ” FARE’s website explains. This nationwide motion offers an alternative for children with food allergies, as well as other children for whom candy is not an option, and maintains Halloween a fun, positive experience for all! ”

This year, #TealPumpkinProject has even started trending on Facebook and Twitter, and hundreds have tweeted their supporting of the project.

Want to be a part of the Teal Pumpkin Project? Of course you do. Here’s how.

First, paint a pumpkin teal or publish out one of the signs on FARE’s website to show neighborhood kids and parents that you’re an allergen-free trick-or-treat stop.

Then, pick up some allergen-free treats for the children coming to your door. Toys, stickers, temporary tattoos, boxes of crayons … the options are pretty much limitless.

Just don’t get lost in the toy aisle!

Being a kid isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a kid with food allergies.

And it can be even harder on the children’s high vacation of Halloween. Thanks to the Teal Pumpkin Project, neighbors can now help each other keep their children safe , and kids with allergies don’t have to miss out on the fun. That’s pretty great.

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5 Reason You Can’t Get Turned On Anymore

( AndreyPopov)

A womans libido is complicated. Getting in the mood doesnt only hinge on one organthere are so many emotional and mental factors that can influence how feisty “youre feeling”, which stimulates it easy for your sex drive to fluctuate. Youre not always going to be jumping to hit the sheets, and thats totally normal.

If youre someone who is typically raring and ready to go, its frustrating when that feeling suddenly goes missing. But its very normal for women to experience problems with sexual desire at some point, Kate Thomas, Ph.D ., a director of clinical services in the sex behaviours consultation division at the Johns Hopkins Hospital, tells SELF. And for every woman who speaks up about it, theres likely to be a handful more who have the same experience but dont seek help.

If youve noticed your sex drive is lower than normal and cant figure out why, here are some things that could be causing the change.

MORE FROM SELF : 5 Relationship Red Flags That Dont Have to Be Dealbreakers

1. Something is missing in your relationship .

Women in long term relationships lose their sex drive more easily than humen, Thomas says. Theres a number of different hypothesis as to why this happens, but Thomas suggests that because feeling plays a bigger role in sex drive for women than men, its more likely sex drive will go away if a connection is lost or feels strained. For women, if the emotional connection is lost in a relationship, that can coloring how much sexual desire there is, Thomas tells.

MORE FROM SELF : What’s Your Sex Number ?

2. Youre aging( of course you are ).

Unfortunately, you cant really stop this from happening. As we age and our hormonal balances change, so does sex drive, Thomas tells. Thats because testosterone levels change throughout life, peaking in our 20 s, and then decreasing slowly as we age. The ovaries continue to produce some testosterone even after estrogen drops rapidly in menopause, but low estrogen comes with its own side effects that attain sex unenjoyable( like vaginal dryness and pain with intercourse) and therefore, can dampen your drive.

MORE FROM SELF : The One Thing Hairstylists Wish Youd Stop Doing

3. You switched up your family planning .

Change in libido is a known side effect of hormonal birth control. Even if youve been on one pill and never had issues, switching to a new one with different levels of progesterone could have an impact. Talk to your ob/ gyn if youve noticed a change in your libido that coincides with a new sort of birth control. Thompson indicates asking about non-hormonal alternatives, like the ParaGard IUD, that can avoid pregnancy without messing with your hormones.

MORE FROM SELF : 18 Things You Should Never Put In Your Vagina

4. Youre taking a new medication that impedes orgasm .

Its not only birth control that can put your sex drive on the fritz. SSRIs prescribed for depression are very well known to dull desire, which Thomas explains can be as they can make it more difficult to orgasm.

An orgasm is important for womens passion, she tells. If you dont have spontaneous longing but want to be sexual and know youre going to enjoy it, youre ready to do it. In a sense, the desire becomes amplified. But if its always a disappointing experience, you wont want to do it.

Other medications like those for hypertension diminish orgasm as well. Opiates are notorious for inducing orgasm difficult, and the effects can happen even with short term employ. But desire will go away completely if youre on them more chronically, and of course chronic pain itself can cause lessened desire.

MORE FROM SELF : The One Food Nutritionists Eat Every Single Day

5. You dont feel as desired by your partner as you used to .

Another theory for why LTRs smother the fire is that many women get off to knowing theyre wanted. Knowing your partner desires you constructs “youre feeling” sexy and confident as hell, and therefore, turns you on. Makes sense. If you read female erotica, just about all of it has this quality, where this person wants her.

MORE FROM SELF : 5 Reasons Youre Not Having An Orgasm( And How To Attain It More Likely )

In Fifty Shades Of Grey , its more about the fact that Christian Grey wants her, when he could have anyone, explains Thomas.

In a new relationship, theres this fuel where your partner constructs it known they want you. In an LTR, you may feel loved and cared for, but that I-need-to-have-you-right-now feeling may have faded and taken your desire along with it. Having an open conversation with your partner about how youre impression and coming up with new ways to spice things up is the best way to reignite that longing and get out of a sex rut.

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Being On Your Own Is Better Than Being Underappreciated( So Stop Settling)

Youlove being alone. Not something you hear too often from a 20 -something’s mouth, but it’s the truth.

You enjoy it, you refer to yourself as an extroverted introvert because truthfullyyou’re mostly at peace whenyou’re in the company of yourself, but can be a social butterfly when you need to be.

When it comes to dating, you will only date person if yousee a future there.You arenot in the business of wasting yourtime on somethingyou know isn’t right for you.

Life is too short, there are too many thingsyou want to accomplish, too many placesyouwant to visit. Truthfully, ifyou enjoy being withsomeone morethan beinginyour own little world, that’s a clear indication that you are in something natural and right.

If anything, you’ve learned that you should never determine. Don’t do it. Don’t settlewith a guy who treats you like you’re an option, one of many other options to select from. Don’t settle with a guy who can’t remember the little, but important things that stimulate you who you are.

Don’t settle with a guy who you aren’t excitedto see, who you’re just going through the motions with.Don’t settle with a guy who doesn’t make an effort to see what makes your eyes light up, what you’re passionate about, and what builds you laugh. If you aren’t chuckling together, what’s the point ?

I promise you, being on your own for a while is a greater alternative to feeling under appreciated in a relationship that isn’t attaining you smile before you go to sleep at night. EVEN when all of your friends are getting engaged, marriage and having children, try and remember that your time will come.

Just becauseit’s not happening for you right at this moment, doesn’t mean it never will.

Like everything, realizing thisis easier said than done, I understand. There is likely to be periods when you merely want to curl up and listen to the saddest Taylor Swift anthems and tell yourself you won’t ever find your other half.

But after all the horrendous dates and cringe-worthy set up, you’ll eventually see that they were simply attaining you stronger. Teaching you more and more about yourself, bringing out sides of you that you didn’t even realize were there.

It’s easy to feel discouraged when your world is feeling small and you feel like no one will ever connect with you or understand you. But, rest assured many others feel thesame way you do.

No one is ever genuinely alone in their thoughts.The world is a hugeplace and there is magic there for those who are willing to look.

So go see it! Go on escapades with your best girlfriends, visit the places you’ve wanted to go since you were little, try new foods, and spend hours in bookstores, reading books you wouldn’t usually pick out yourself. In doing what you love, in chasing your passions- you’ll find that love has a funny way of creeping up on you while you’re busy living their own lives .

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A letter to … Identical twins, who truly know what it’s like to be one of a pair

The letter you always wanted to write

You know what its like, dont you? The double-takes as you walk along the street together, the teachers who could never remember which was which, the strangers who wave and smile, and you just wave and smile back because you know its a example of mistaken identity, and its not their fault.

Isnt being an identical twin only the best thing ?! one said to me a while back, and how could I not concur? Its like having a best friend and sibling all rolled into one, someone who entirely gets you.

Does yours live close by? I jealousy you. Mine lives hundreds of miles away, but I insured her recently on a visit to the twins unit at St Thomas hospital in London. Weve been part of its research programme for years and its a win-win thing for everyone: they get guinea pig to help them examine the link between genes, the environment and common illness; we get a kind of MOT, everything from blood tests to bone-density scans, 3D x-rays to ECGs.

First finding: twins are competitive. Of course we are, we get compared from childhood on, dont we? Would you, like me, be mentioning that while she weighs( a bit !) less than me, my lungs( drum roll) are those of someone 11 years younger? Or that I came up with more names of animals in a minute than she did? We were as one, though, on terms beginning with p wed been asked to list: Did my sister tell pterodactyl? shed asked, and yes, I had.( A household gag from when her own twins were small .)

At lunch, we sat with a fellow twin whose other half was coming on a different day. Oh yes, were identical, she told, before adding conspiratorially, Identical twins are the only real twins, arent they?

Hers, she added, was the bad twin, her hypothesi being that, from an early age, twins are forced into good/ bad roles from which many find it hard to escape. Does that ring true for you? It certainly did for us. No, Im not going to tell you which is which, only that it wasnt yours truly climbing out of the window and running away to the saloon when we were 17.

Did I mention other halves? Our companion had an interesting take on that, too: her matrimony, she told, had fallen apart because her husband couldnt handle her closeness to her twin. I supposed guiltily about a recent exchange with my partner.

Were going to see Frank Turner! Id told him, excitedly.

Are we? hed told. When? At which phase I was forced to admit that the we that is him and me was not the we Id meant.

I asked him what he thought about living with a twin. Its like Princess Diana told, he replied. There are three people in this relationship.

Is that how it is for you, too? Can it seem at times as if your significant other is not the one who shares your bed? My twin and a boyfriend of mine once almost did just that, when he muddled up bedrooms in the dark and didnt place his mistake until her boyfriend tried to climb in, too. Such larks are apparently endlessly fascinating for non-twins. At a school reunion, decades after wed left, the first thing our erstwhile history teacher asked a question was not what Id been doing with myself in the intervening years but whether, as teens, my sister and I had ever played tricks on our dates. It had been, he told, much discussed in the staffroom. For the record, Mr Miles, Mr Thomas, Mr Noble, et al , no, we didnt.

We did once go to a fancy dress party as Bill and Ben the uncannily similar flowerpot men. And we do look back at photos of ourselves as children and wonder which is which. Was it her who fell in the pond at Hampton Court, or me? Me who swallowed the medication in the kitchen cabinet, or her? It didnt matter on that occasion: we both had to have our stomachs pumped, just in case.

Not that such mix-ups always ended in tears. One of us once dodged a bath when our doting nana dunked the same twin twice. That was me, wasnt it? No, hang on a minute

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