Why this musician got the signatures from unused suicide notes tattooed on his arm.

Students often hand Robb Nash their suicide notes after they hear him speak.

Nash considers it part of his life’s mission to help teens contemplating suicide, largely because he knows all too well what these children is passing through.

After a horrific automobile collision at persons under the age of 17 in which he was initially pronounced dead on arrival before being resurrected at the hospital, he too no longer wanted to live. The accident rapidly aimed any opportunity he had at a sports career, and he didn’t have enough formal education to land an office chore.

Image by Robb Nash, used with permission.

Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for people 10 to 24 years old in Canada. The Canadian Mental Health Association found that 24% of deaths among 15 – to 24 -year-olds in Canada are the result of suicide.

Nash, who is a musician by trade , now travels Canada giving presentations to students to help them find meaning and purpose in their lives.

He walked away from a recording bargain he had scored with his band, Live on Arrival, to perform his songs and spread his anti-suicide message full-time instead.

He does an average of 150 reveals a year where he talks openly with kids about suicide prevention, using his own life experiences as instances.

Nash guessings there’s at least one student in each of the schools he visits who desperately needs to hear his message. That’s a lot of kids whose lives he can help save merely by letting them know they’re not alone.

Image by Robb Nash, used in conjunction with permission.

It’s at the end of these presentations that students often hand him their unused suicide notes a gesture that symbolically allows them to rid themselves of their suicidal thinks.

Nash believes it’s their style of saying, “I won’t be requiring that anymore.”

“We can help people discover their gifts, rather than focus on their fails. We can help them learn not just to survive, but to lead a life of significance, ” he says. “I don’t want others to have to go through a near-death experience like I did … before they learn to live! ”

Depression appears different for different people, but a common sentiment Nash hears from students is that they’re told they’re too “sensitive, ” a stigma he tells we need to remove.

Image by Robb Nash, used in conjunction with permission.

Nash encourages his audiences to embrace their impressions and not feel ashamed of them.

Even if you don’t personally have depression, statistics reveal that it’s unbelievably likely that you know someone who does. It’s important to not only recognize the symptoms of depression in yourself but to be able to identify them in friends and loved ones who may need assistance.

Recently, Nash took 120 of the signatures from suicide notes he’s received to a tattoo parlor, where he had the signatures turned into a piece of wearable art.

Image by Robb Nash, used with permission.

Nash’s tattooed arm is now a visual aid to his presentations, showing the students he’s speaking to that if all of those other children can unburden themselves of their suicidal supposes, those listening in the crowd can too.

It’s also important to understand someone who suffers from depression can’t be cured with a motivational talk or a kind gesture. It’s an ongoing conflict, but the most generous thing you can do for yourself and to others is to be kind.

His tattoo is a powerful reminder that while depression can feel incredibly lonely, you’re never alone.

While speaking with Nash, there’s an overwhelming sense he’s the type of person who wears his heart on his sleeve, and now he’s got 120 tattooed signatures there to prove it.

Read more: www.upworthy.com

I Should Have Believed My Daughter When She Told Me About The Thing Living Under The Bed

When my daughter was 5, she really liked to play with blocks.

You know the ones, they have colorful letters and numbers published on the sides. My daughter started reading at a young age, and she could already spell a lot of words by the time she reached kindergarten. She loved spelling, and shed play with those blocks for hours. Shed often try random combinations of letters and ask me what they entail. On those occasions that shed stumble on a real word, shed clap her hands with delight and giggle.

She was a very sweet child.

One day, I noticed that her collecting of blocks had shrunk considerably.Where did your blocks go, Kiki? I asked.

I devoted some to my friend, she said, setting her remaining blocks up into a tower to incarcerate a hapless Polly Pocket.

I was both proud and exasperated by her answer. Kiki was so generous, she was forever devoting her toys away to other children. I was often tasked with tracking them down when she decided she wanted them back.

And what friend did you give them to?

The Wordeater, she said.

Well, that was new. It must have been a new game Kiki was very inventive.

And who is the Wordeater? I asked, stooping down next to her on the floor, watching a Polly

Pocket lunged herself off the block tower, presumably into a cavity of molten lava.

Hes the Wordeater! She told, giggling at my ignorance.He likes terms so much, he fees them.

I see, I told very solemnly.And what does the Wordeater look like?

Hm she thought, tapping a tiny finger to her lips. Hes fat, she started, and has real little eyes and a trunk! Like an elephant!

I frowned. We dont call people fat, Kiki.

But he is! She protested. And hes not a person, mommy, hes the Wordeater!

Now I was get genuinely curious about the little friend shed made up. I left off my admonition, instead asking, Where does the Wordeater live?

She pointed across her room. He lives under the bed. Its warm down there, and darknes. He likes the dark.

A strange little chill snuck up my spine at that. Children are creepy. Shaking off the impression, I strolled across the room and checked for the purposes of the bed.

Sure enough, there were Kikis blocks, scattered as though shed flung them underneath the bedframe, sort of like feeding an animal at the zoo. I smiled, somehow delighted to see that those blocks were the only things I found under there.

Well, make sure the Wordeater gets enough to eat, I told Kiki before leaving the room to start dinner, And that he goes to bed at a decent hour!

I will, mommy! She answered, casting yet another Polly Pocket into the den of carpet lava flames.

Kiki made good on her promise.

I didnt believe much about the Wordeater for a few days after that. Kiki didnt mention him, and I was busy filing taxes and waiting on pins and needles to see if my husband got the promotion he was aiming for.

No, I didnt think about it one Saturday morning, when Kiki was helping me cook cookies.

Mom, she told, her voice lilting with the absentmindedness of childhood, Whats your favorite term?

I had to think about that.Hm why, my favorite term is Kiki, of course! I taunted. Kiki giggled. I loved her giggle.

Whats your favorite word? I asked back as I rolled the cookie dough into balls and began spacing them on the cookie sheet.

The Wordeater has been teaching me lots of new words. I like them all, she said.

What kind of words? I asked.

She seemed up at me, grinned proudly, and said,

Being a parent is a constant tug of war between was intended to shrieking at your kid and laugh your ass off.

It was fairly damn hard maintaining a straight face as I told Kiki that was a bad word. I realise very quickly that she had no idea it was naughty wherever shed heard it, apparently she hadnt picked up its meaning or connotations. I was firm with her, but kind, all while trying to stifle my own giggles. Oh, that story was definitely going to be great fun telling at Kikis graduation in years to come.

I tried asking Kiki where shed heard that term, but she just kept insisting that the Wordeater had taught it to her. I give him my blocks when hes hungry, and he teaches me new words, she said.

Eventually, I gave up asking, telling her to ask me from now on what the new words she learned really meant. She had probably heard it at school or on TV, anyway. I didnt think much of it, other than to tell her father later that night. Unlike me, he was unsuccessful in preventing his laughter, and tears rolled down his face as he listened to the shenanigans our daughter had been up to.

It wasnt long before I noticed that Kiki had begun acting strange.

She wasnt any different during the day or anything. No, it had more to do with what happened at night.

The first time it happened, I nearly called, I was so startled. I strolled into her room around ten at night to check on her Id put her in bed almost an hour earlier and was surprised to see her sitting on the floor facing her bed. She was cross-legged and rocking simply a little backward and forward, as though trying to pause herself to sleep.

Kiki? What are you doing up? I guessed I told you to go to bed an hour ago. Kiki and I had already had several discussions about her inability to go to bed when she was told. I strolled over to her and assured her closed eyes, realise with astound that she seemed to be asleep. Kiki used to sleepwalk when she was about three, but it had only happened a few times. Id guessed shed grown out of it.

I reached down to picking her up when I considered that her lips were moving. She was saying something. I leaned forward to listen, but I couldnt make out what she was saying.

Then, suddenly, the little whispers stopped. In fact, Kiki stopped. She stopped moving, and it virtually seemed like she stopped breathing. I reared my head back a little, disconcerted.

Kiki lifted her limb, widening it towards her bed. For one moment, in that small, dark room, she held perfectly still, like a statue of an angel infant on top of an newborns headstone.

It took me a full minute to collect myself before I managed to reach out and pick Kiki up, tucking her back into her bed.

Looking at Kiki snuggled up in her bed, the moonlight casting a waxen glow on her face, I began to feel abruptly that the room was too small. The darkness of the walls snuck in on me, and the brown carpet seemed to be swallowing me whole. The door, with its small patch of light coming in from the hallway, seemed very tiny, as though Id never be able to squeezing through it. I felt something akin to a rat in a dry trap, and it made me awfully anxious.

I shook my head, trying to dispelled the impression. Id always been awfully claustrophobic. I switched on Kikis nightlight for my sake more than hers and left the room.

There were a few more incidents of the whispering, the shake. I mentioned it to my husband, who actually seemed more worried than I was. He told we should take her to a doctor, simply to make sure it was normal. I concurred, knowing that it would set our minds to rest, even if we aimed up having to pay a few hundred dollars to learn that we were making a big deal out of nothing.

In the end, we never got the chance.

A few days before the doctor appointment, I strolled into Kikis room to find her rocking in front of her bed again, muttering to herself.

I sighed, a little exasperated, a little scared, and leaned down to picking her up, wondering if perhaps I was being too overprotective after all. Trying to rationalize. Trying to reason.

If I hadnt turned my head ever so somewhat, I might not have ensure it. I might have lived my whole life not knowing. But the fact of the issues is, I DID turn my head. And I DID see it.

My brain froze and my body turned to stone. Something was under the bed.
No, it cant be, I told myself, even as my heart began to race and my palms began to sweat. I straightened back up, my hands shaking, leaving my daughter where she sat, rocking to herself like a lunatic. My hand reached back and fumbled along the wall for the light switching. Because nothing bad happens in the sunlight. All the bad things stay in the dark, right?

I turned on the light.

Kiki stopped rocking. She stopped muttering. Her eyes shot open and she raised her head to look at me in absolute shock. In disloyalty. There was something in her eyes that I didnt recognize, something that scared me.

But not as much as the thing for the purposes of the bed.

The long quilt draped over the bedframe fluttered a little as something reached out from for the purposes of the bed. It was pale and stretched out, flexible and malleable, almost like a tentacle. Except tentacles dont have little mouths at the end, with sharp shards of teeth. The strange tentacle-like thing bypassed my daughter solely thank God. It attained its way towards me

As it left its home under the bed, a body followed in its aftermath. First arrived the head, a bulbous protrusion with folds of loose skin. The thing had small pinpricks for eyes, almost as though someone had taken a drill press to its head. The pinpricks were surrounded by black, the scalp looks a lot like it had been badly bruised. Inside the pinpricks was pure white no pupils , no coloration. Just solid, frigid white. The tentacle protruded from where I assume the things mouth should have been.

Meaty arms with stumps instead of hands pulled the rest of the body out. It was fat, stifled in folds of scalp as though it had once been even more immense and fell so much weight that the skin had lost its elasticity. Its pale body wobbled and jiggled, the skin full of clay and must from its nest under the bed.

Its hind legs were thick and strong, made for pursuing, if it could get it body up off the floor. It had broad feet and I imagined, for a moment, the feet planting themselves on the floor as it lunged at me, quick as a snake, to crush me under its weight.

I screamed.

I screamed and I screamed and I called and then everything happened very quickly.

You fucking bitch! She hollered, and the thing took that as its cue to lunge at me.

Its body careened forward, assisted by its strong appendages, enough to reached my legs and send me sprawling to the floor. I hit my head against the wall hard enough for my vision to go dark. The room was bright now, but in the light it seemed even smaller than it had before. Now I knew it was, indeed, a trap. A place that I was meant to feel safe, that I should have associated with my daughter. The last place I would have expected to be accosted.

When my vision cleared, I realized the thing was on top of me, its moist, sweaty scalp suffocating me. Its eyes peered into mine as its tentacle-like mouth licked and stroked along my cheek

And then slipped in-between my teeth.

On instinct, I snapped my jaw together, trying to sever the tentacle, but it was impossible. Although women had seemed soft and malleable, the thing was diamond hard. It shoved is route down my throat, past my gag reflex, deep into my body.

I screamed again.

I could feel the sharp stinging of its teeth excavating into my flesh, sucking out my blood and

Next to us, my daughter maintained chanting expletives.You fucking mother-bitch, son of Satan whore, fuck you, dirty cock cunt bitch fuck

The thing dug around inside my body, its eyes never leaving mine, searching for something

Thats all I remember before the pain overcame my senses and I passed out.

I came to in the hospital, surrounded by my loving husband and daughter, waiting anxiously for me to awake.

I was told a great many things as soon as I woke up, everyone trying to cram some piece of information into me as quickly as is practicable. They told me that Id had a seizure, the first and only one Id ever experienced. They said Id hit my head and been rushed to the hospital. They said Id likely be fine, but they wanted to run some exams to make sure.

I opened my mouth to tell them about the thing that assaulted me but nothing came out.

It took a while of skepticism and prompting before the doctors ascertained that, somehow in the course of my seizure, Id lost my voice.

I tried writing out my account, to tell the doctors and my husband that there is something in our house, but they didnt believe me. A hallucination, they said. I insured them exchanging worried glances as I gestured vehemently that I wasnt crazy.

Things became stressful at home after that.

The doctors said my voice would probably come back surely I wouldnt be mute eternally but it didnt. In the meantime, I began to search the house frantically, focusing special attention on the space under Kikis bed.

There was nothing there.

I noticed, too, that Kiki was different. Oh, it was just a little different, to be sure. But it was there. For the most part, she was the sweet, loving, kind little girl that Id born and raised. But sometimes, a peak of something malicious would demonstrate through, something hateful and angry that was as foreign to Kiki as Greek. My Kiki had never been like that

But she was now. At least sometimes.

As for me, Im different, too. And not just because Im mute. See, it feels like theres pieces of me missing. Like parts of my mind and my personality have just vanished. I cant pinpoint what exactly is different, I just know it is.

I dont feel like myself anymore.

Ive stopped trying to convince my husband of what happened. He stimulated me consider a therapist for a while, claiming that I needed to get help. I feigned that I get better, that I knew it was all a delusion.
Hell never believe me , no matter what I say.

Thats why Im writing this here, for all of you to read. Without my voice, this is the only style to tell my narrative, the only route to get people to listen to me. So, please, dont forget what Im about to tell you.

The Wordeater is real. It steals your words. It steals your voice. But it steals something else, too and sometimes, it selects someone, maybe an innocent little child like Kiki, and it devotes it to them. Like sticking shards of glass into their spirits, little pricks of hatred and cruelty that cant be pulled out no matter how hard you try.

And its still out there, searching for a place to stay, for someone else to consume.

Read more:

Jared Leto gunning for another Oscar with Andy Warhol biopic

The Oscar winner is teaming with individual producers of “Fifty Shades of Grey” and the writer of “The Wolf of Wall Street” on the project .
Image: Michel Dufour/ Getty Images

LOS ANGELES After playing the Joker in Suicide Squad , Oscar winner Jared Leto is set to tackle another pop culture icon, as he has signed on to play Andy Warhol in an upcoming biopic titled Warhol , Mashable has confirmed.

Leto is teaming with Michael De Luca ( Fifty Shades of Grey ) to create the movie, which will be written by Boardwalk Empire inventor Terence Winter. Leto and De Luca have already acquired the rights to Victor Bockris’ 1989 volume Warhol: The Biography , which will serve as the basis of Winter’s script.

According to the Hollywood Reporter , which broke the Warhol news, the project will be aimed at mainstream audiences rather than the arthouse crowd.

Best known for turning Campbell’s soup cans and Coca-Cola bottles into high art, Warhol also founded an art studio called The Mill that generated music and movies in the 1960 s. The New York socialite was a regular at Studio 54 and he worked closely with artists ranging from the Velvet Underground to Jean-Michel Basquiat.

Warhol died in his sleep in 1987 while he was retrieving from routine gallbladder surgery. His family sued the hospital for medical malpractice and eventually determined for an undisclosed sum of money.

Leto has played gay characters before, having won an Oscar for his turn as an AIDS patient in Dallas Buyers Club . He’s currently filming the Blade Runner sequel with Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford.

De Luca has had success make-up movies about real people, such as Moneyball , Captain Phillips and The Social Network . The same can be said for Winter, who earned an Oscar nomination for writing The Wolf of Wall Street .

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A Weird New Segway Is Finally Making Hoverboards Legit

Remember hoverboards? Last year was pretty big for the two-wheeled self-balancing scooters, which( sort of) made good on Back To The Future ‘ s promise of the future of transportation. Hoverboards were under the feet of seemingly every athlete, celebrity, Vine star, and tech journalist on countries around the world. Amazon and Alibaba’s pages were filled with hoverboards. And then, as was bound to happen in this slightly on-the-nose Icarus tale, the hoverboard flew a little too close to the sunshine. And caught fire.

For a while there, it looked like it was draperies for the hoverboard. Amazon, Toys’ R’ Us, Target, and others stopped selling them. Airlines, airports, and public spaces everywhere stopped allowing them. The US Trade Commission banned the import of” certain personal transporters ,” and then the Consumer Product Safety Commission recalled more than half a million hoverboards, citing” at least 99 incident reports of the battery packs in self-balancing scooters/ hoverboards overheating, sparking, smoking, catching flame and/ or exploding, including reports of burn injuries and property injury .” That is, uh, hard to come back from.

Ken Boyce, a principal engineer at Chicago-based UL( which used to stand for Underwriters Laboratories, but like MTV or the SATs is now only an acronym-free situated of letters ), spent part of last year watching the hoverboard market intently. UL is the company whose certification you’ll find on almost any contraption, gadget, or powered device you own. It’s among the most important security organizations in the industry, and has relationships with retailers, producers, and even companies that deal with logistics and transport of these devices.” We ensure all of those areas really go red in late 2015 ,” Boyce tells.” They were like, whoa, help us with this, we don’t know what to do .”

UL has been doing research into lithium-ion batteries for a long time. The battery is the most unstable, unsafe part of nearly every contraption, and UL has worked to learn as much as it can about the chemistry and manufacturing of these batteries so it can ensure their safety. Which came in handy with hoverboards. Faulty, cheaply-made batteries were the reason they maintained exploding. The team at UL worked promptly, sensing the literal life-and-death stakes at hand, and came up with a standard for hoverboard safety in a matter of a few weeks.

The standard, UL-2 272 , now defines a “safe” hoverboard. Battery and power regulation are the two most important parts of the standard, Boyce tells, but there are also a situate of requirements around the physical building of the product. Boyce and his team came up with exams for environmental effects, and even worked to make sure manufacturers were delivering smart instructions for how to safely use their product. None of these factors had mattered to anyone before: many hoverboards went with hastily translated instructions and warnings, or with none at all. Boards were fragile and breakable–the only thing that mattered was their cost. UL’s hope was to build the industry take a deep breath, and construct something that would actually last.


Segway was one of the partners UL worked with on the standard, and its new MiniPro hoverboard is one of the first certified products. But Segway’s not just jumping on the trend: it’s been working on its smaller new device for a few years. The first Segway came out 15 years ago, and the goal with the MiniPro was to” bring that innovation into a smaller package ,” tells Brian Buccella, the company’s vice president of business development and marketing. He says the original, handlebar Segway is focused on the commercial market–security guards, tour guides, and the like.” We wanted to have a product that the average person could use, that had a price phase under $1,000.” The MiniPro is essentially a Segway minus the handlebars, instead employing a kneepad to steer around.

Making the MiniPro safe was key for Segway, but the company has some experience doing so. Buccella describes crush tests, connectivity tests, brake tests, mechanical and electrical tests, and more.” You can imagine “re going through” those exams ,” he says,” and how dependable that product would be. Guess about this: those exams were not performed on any other product on the market before this .”

I’ve ridden a lot of hoverboards, and riding the Segway feels markedly different from the rest of them. It’s sturdy and consistent: the 28 -pound machine moves smoothly, turns crisply, and never bucks like a bronco when you’re on it. It has pneumatic tires, so it can manage bumpy sidewalks and even functionally move across grass. It also hasn’t caught fire, but neither has the( maybe now contraband)” Scoot Fun” hoverboard in my apartment, so perhaps I’m one of the luck ones. The knee-controlled steering feels a little odd, like you’re skiing on wheels, but it works really well. The MiniPro feels like a completed, thought-out device, and while the $1,000 price tag seems high at first, lots of people expended more and got less from the first round of hoverboards.

Josh Valcarcel/ WIRED

When you first hop on the MiniPro, it beeps at you to download the companion app for your phone. The app gives you stats, lets you control the device remotely, and forces-out you to go through a tutorial before you can unlock the MiniPro’s true top speed. The app itself is kind of a buggy mess, but it’s at least an indication that Segway’s trying to thoughtfully introduce people to these new devices. Even once you’re good at it, there are safety checks everywhere: the MiniPro beeps if you’re going too fast, and will start to push subtly against you, trying to slow you down to a normal speed.

The MiniPro is emblematic of the new, safer breed of hoverboard, in that it wants to move past being a Tickle-Me-Elmo-level fad toy, and into something more like the future of transportation.” Theres this whole re-imagining of the route people move around cities ,” tells Carlton Calvin, founder and CEO of Razor, whose Hovertrax hoverboard is also UL-2 272 certified.” Hovertrax is going to be part of that. But on the other hand ,” he rapidly adds,” its insanely fun to ride .”

Hoverboards are making another takeover try, just more cautiously this time. UL has also certified Swagway, China’s Chic Technologies, and a couple dozen other hoverboards. Amazon and Best Buy are slowly starting to sell the devices again. And now, after a year of fads and flames, these companies can get back to the real work: constructing these things fly so we can actually get our Marty McFly on.

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A 12 Diet Cokes-a-day habit like Trump’s is worth changing

( CNN) President Donald Trump downs a dozen Diet Cokes each day, The New York Times reported this weekend. His love of the bubbly beverage is shared by many Americans and at least one of his predecessors. President Bill Clinton was often photographed with a can in his hand and reportedly placed a Diet Coke — along with a now-outdated cell phone and other items — in a day capsule at his official presidential library.

So, what happens to those who drink a dozen cans daily of the caramel-colored elixir, which contains a mix of the sweetener aspartame and artificial and natural flavors, among other ingredients?

Some research been shown that artificially sweetened drinkings can increase one’s appetite and the desire for sweets. This effect was linked to aspartame, the most frequently used sweetener in diet liquors, which generates a similar reaction in the body as sugar. Simply 30 minutes after drinking either a diet soda containing aspartame or the same sum of regular soda( with sucrose ), the body reacts with similar concentrations of glucose and insulin.

Trump Protesters In New York Want To ‘Help Ivanka Move’

Ivanka Trump, future First Daughter, is leaving her birthplace of Manhattan for the swamplands of Washington , D.C . the city her parent, President-elect Donald Trump, and her husband, soon-to-be Senior White House Advisor Jared Kushner, will also call home.

To mark the occasion, the artists and activists behind the Dear Ivanka Instagram account are scheming a demonstration. On Monday, Jan. 16., the Halt Action Group will host a Help Ivanka Move protest, hauling boxes to the NYC residence of Ivanka and Jared in an effort to send a not-so-subtle message to the members of the Trump administration.

Say goodbye to: a poster for the planned demo reads, subsequently listing things like freedom of speech, affordable healthcare, LGBT rights, womens health, climate change and nuclear regulation, and immigrant rights.

The boxes represent liberties that people are fearful of losing, Halt Action Group wrote in a press release.

Halt Action Group

The Dear Ivanka Instagram account started sharing portraits of the famous tycoons last year. The images, filled with impossibly chic gowns and picturesque household poses, are affixed with provocative captions like Dear Ivanka, Im an American Muslim and I was attacked on the metro, and As a good Jewish mother, what will you tell your kids @dear_ivanka when Steve Bannon infects the White House with his anti-Semitic ideologies?

Halt Action Group hosted their first NYC demonstration on Nov. 28, 2016, reportedly collecting around 500 people in front of the Puck Building, owned by Kushners family. Artists like Cecily Brown, Rob Pruitt, and Marilyn Minter were in attendance.( All three and more are expected to be at the Jan. 16 event, too .)

For those members of the public interested in attending the Jan. 16 demonstration, Halt Action Group provides two simple instructions: Construct a box+ show up.

Read more: www.huffingtonpost.com

Auschwitz guard jailed for five years in Holocaust murder trial

Nazi death camp guard Reinhold Hanning, 94, sentenced for role in facilitating massacre at camp in Nazi-occupied Poland

A 94 -year-old former Auschwitz death camp guard has been convicted of being an accessory to the murder of 170,000 people at the end of a four-month trial which is likely to be the last of its kind.

Reinhold Hanning was sentenced on Friday to five years in prison for his role in facilitating the carnage at the Auschwitz death camp in Nazi-occupied Poland, although he will remain free pending appeal.

The trial, held at the Detmold court in west Germany, represented equally a last chance to establish a historical reckoning with the Nazi Holocaust as an opportunity to bring the retired dairy farmer to justice more than 70 years after the end of the war.

You were in Auschwitz for two and a half years, performed an important function, said the judge, Anke Grudda. You were part of war criminals organisation and took part in criminal activity in Auschwitz. Grudda said Hanning could have chosen a different track.

It is not true that you had no choice; you could have asked to be transferred to the war front, she told him.

Hanning showed no reaction.

Scores of Holocaust survivors and historians gave witnes to the court, but Hanning who became a junior squadron leader with the SS avoided their gaze. The prosecutions lawsuit was built on the premise that, however low his rank, Hannings presence at Auschwitz attained him part of the Nazi death machine and that he should therefore share responsibility for the Holocaust in which 6 million people, mostly European Jews, were murdered.

On Friday Hedy Bohm, an Auschwitz survivor who came from Toronto to testify at the trial and for the verdict, said she was grateful and pleased by this justice finally after 70 years.

It is my dream to be in Germany, in a German court, with German magistrates recognise the Holocaust, the 88 -year-old said.

Leon Schwarzbaum, another survivor from Berlin, said he would have liked Hanning to use the trial as an opportunity to speak more about what happened at the camp so that future generations would know.

It is a just verdict, but he should say more, is the truth for the young people, Schwarzbaum, 95, told the AP. He is an old man and probably wont have to go to jail, but he should say what happened at Auschwitz. Auschwitz was like something the world has never seen.

One of the most dramatic moments of the trial went when Schwarzbaum took to the witness stand and told Hanning to speak out before he died. Mr Hanning, we are virtually the same age and soon we will face our final judge. I would like to ask you to tell the historical truth here, just as I am, he said.

Until 2011, prosecutions for involvement in the Holocaust is no more than considered possible if it could be proved the individual was directly responsible for murder or torment. The Hanning case has concentrated on the Hungary Operation, which took place over three months, from May to July 1944, when about 425,000 Hungarian Jews were deported to Auschwitz, in Nazi-occupied Poland; 300,000 of them were gassed to death immediately on arrival.

Prosecutors argue that the episode serves to underline the industrialised nature of the Nazi slaughter machine that depended on the participation of a massive network of people carrying out orders, however large or small. They have rendered evidence that Hanning was in Auschwitz during the Hungary operation and is hence immediately implicated.

Initially, Hanning refused to speak, provoking frustration and fury among the survivors in the courtroom and those in accordance with the trial around the world. Indignation by his silence, Angela Orosz, 71, who was born at the concentration camp in December 1944, flew from her home in Toronto, Canada, shortly after the start of the proceedings and took to the witness stand to recommend him: You know what happened to all the people. You enabled their slaying. Tell us! Tell us !

Orosz told the Guardian that what mattered was what Hanning told the court about what happened in Auschwitz, what he did in Auschwitz, what he saw in Auschwitz, because it would go on record and enter the history books, so that even if some people might say the Jews are lying they will hear from the mouth of the Nazi what[ actually] happened.

Auschwitz survivor Leon Schwarzbaum presents an old photo indicating himself( left) next to his uncle and parents who all succumbed at the death camp. Photo: Bernd Thissen/ AP

Hanning did not divulge any of the details of his working life at the camp but he made a amaze statement in April asking for forgiveness. I was silent my whole life, he told a hushed tribunal, which strained to hear his quiet, rasping, voice.

I want to say to you that Im profoundly regretful at having belonged to a criminal organisation that was responsible for the death of vast numbers of people, for the demolition of countless numbers of families, for suffering, torment and agony on the part of the victims and their relatives. I am ashamed to have stood by and watch those injustices happen and to have done nothing to prevent them.

In an earlier statement read by his lawyer, Johannes Salmen, Hanning insisted he had been sent to Auschwitz after he was injured in the head by a grenade in Kiev. The head of my division told Hanning, you cant even wear a helmet, so he thought it a good notion to send me to Auschwitz for internal service, he said.

In his closing statement, Salmen was contended that his clients age where reference is joined the SS he was 18 when he joined the Totenkopf( Deaths Head) division should be considered to be a mitigating factor. You cant act today as if the defendant was a fully-grown human back then who knew just what he was doing, he told. But some of the survivors, who had come from Canada, Britain, Hungary, the US and Germany to give witness statements, were angered by what they assured as Hannings suggestion that he could not have avoided being sent to serve in Auschwitz. Thomas Walther, a lawyer for some of the co-plaintiffs, said his statement was without substance.

The trial, like others in recent years, devoted survivors the chance to speak out for the first time. This is to do with hurling light on what happened, with ensuring that something like this never happens again, told Marcus Goldbach, a lawyer for one of the victims.

Court proceedings have been reduced to simply two hours a day to take into account Hannings poor health and age. Hanging over the proceedings and other similar cases in which ageing men have been brought to trial for their role as concentration camp employees is the question of what good it can do to punish people so late in life and in bad health.

Hannings trial followed that of Oskar Grning, an SS recruit known as the book-keeper of Auschwitz, who in 2015 received a four-year prison sentence for his role as an Auschwitz guard. He has appealed against the sentence and is unlikely ever to serve any time. Another instance being heard by a German tribunal is that of a former SS medic, Hubert Zafke, although it has already been adjourned twice on health grounds, putting the proceedings in doubt.

A trial of a 92 -year-old female radio operator, identified only as Helma M, is expected to open shortly. Attorneys had called for a six-year sentence for Hanning, while his lawyer had said he should be acquitted because there was no proof he participated in any killings or torment and he had not worked in Birkenau, the part of the camp where the gassings were done.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

13 Lies About Feeing Disorders That Almost Stopped Me From Reaching Recovery

Too many people believe that losing weight will take care of all their problems.

Unfortunately, they equate the notion of skinny with happiness and being perfect, which is a dangerous connection to make. Although not everyone who diets will develop an eating disorder( a mental illness with the highest mortality rate ), a significant number regrettably do.

I personally suffered for over a decade with a serious eating disorder in the shape of anorexia, workout craving, binge eating disorder and bulimia. Although my appearance drastically changed because of my behaviours, my intellect nonetheless always remained the same. It was equally sick and destructive throughout, as my eating disorder built promises to me that ultimately could have led me to my grave.

Now that I am in recovery, I can painfully expose the lies, disguised as truths, that my eating disorder attained me believe 😛 TAGEND

1. You’ll be happy once you lose more weight.

While growing up, I had extremely low self-esteem, along with depression, anxiety and a perfectionist posture that strengthened I was never good enough. I didn’t know how to make sense of why I felt so miserable, and I was too ashamed to tell anyone. So, I blamed myself.

I also didn’t have any friends and was taunted. Many people can face these situations and get through these years commonly. However, with others who are painfully shy and place unrealistic standards on themselves, it can be a recipe for disaster.

Eating disorders can affect anyone, regardless of their gender, age, ethnicity, weight, sexual orientation and socioeconomic status. My eating disorder promised that if I focused on losing weight, it would confuse me from what hurt me the most. But of course, it only served as a Band-Aid while encompassing my true pain.

The problem was, I did lose weight, and nothing fundamentally changed. In fact, I was just as miserable, but developed a host of hazardous new concerns. This tragic game is a black hole. Once you reach that goal weight, you’ll have to revise it to keep your focus away from your core pain. Before you realize it, you may be at death’s doorway, just like I was, because you’ve lost so many pounds.

Always remember that eating disorders are not about weight, but rather the result from poor coping skills in dealing with underlying problems.

2. The more you restrict, the more you’ll feel in control.

When I was struggling with anorexia, my life had been reduced to nothing more than counting calories, weighing myself and trying to come up with new ways to hide and restrict food. My eating disorder convinced me this somehow made me safe and in control, when everything else in my life seemed so out of control and unpredictable.

The irony, though, is that my eating disorder had complete control over me. All the talent and potential I once had as a tennis player was destroyed. My passion for ponies was swept away, as I was too weak to ride.

My happy experiences that once received from visiting my relatives were lost, as I could no longer stimulate the trip-up because I was always in the hospital or in a therapy center. I broke up with my boyfriend because my exercising craving was stronger than the relationship. I also was required to leave college during my freshman year for health reasons. So, who really was in control?

3. If you focus on your weight, all your depression, nervousnes and pain will disappear.

An eating disorder, like any form of self-destructive coping ability, can be seen as a style to self-medicate. As noted before, it serves as simply a Band-Aid over a meander. Sure, at first it might seem to work when the meander isn’t very large. But over time, that wound is going to get infected, and then it is going to spread, and then it will begin to really hurt.

Inevitably, that wound is going to surface, and it will become painfully obvious that your Band-Aid isn’t gong to work anymore. It was at this time you are able recognize you have no choice but to address your true issues.

But there can be beauty from all of this. You can mend in a healthy style. You don’t have to be afraid of what hurts you the most. You aren’t alone, and there is always help for you.

4. The longer you exercise, the stronger and better athlete you’ll be.

I always wanted to be the best at whatever I did. My drive for perfection led me to believe that more was always better, and so I pushed myself beyond appropriate limits. I had no sense of what was healthy or not.

My eating disorder told him that if I was practicing tennis two hours a day, then surely an additional hour in the gym must be beneficial. And as time went by, this led to me being so entirely addicted to exercise that I joined three different gyms to prevent the same people from find me work out for so long.

Needless to say, instead of allowing me to become a better athlete, it resulted me to a hospital with a heart rate so low that I risked having a heart attack at any moment.

5. I will always be there for you, even when other people won’t.

I grew up being pestered and rejected by my peers, which left me feeling alone and wary of trusting others. I figured it was best to depend on something I could count on, which became my eating disorder.

I thought I was being smart, and I guessed this would shield me from being hurt. However, the irony of this situation was that it was because of my eating disorder that I afterwards turned down invitations to hang out, since they would interfere with my rites. And it was because of my eating disorder that I remained alone, isolated and different from my peers.

My eating disorder became a self-fulfilling prophecy and my own worst best friend.

6. I’ll help you love your body and are certain in clothes.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. I detested my body equally at my lowest weight, my heaviest weight and when I reached a healthy weight. Your eating disorder is never going to make you love your body or feel good about yourself because self-love doesn’t come from weight.

On the other hand, once you ultimately work on your intellect and start learning to love and accept yourself unconditionally, it won’t matter what you weigh for you to feel confident and good about yourself.

7. Your diet starts tomorrow. Today’s the last day you can eat everything you want.

When I was struggling with binge eating disorder, my eating disorder eternally promised I could have one last binge before I went off to diet boot camp. Plainly, this backfired in my face each time.

My eating disorder told me I could eat everything I ever dreamed of, but then I had to starve myself by consuming tasteless foods until I reached a slim weight again. This was an unsustainable lifestyle, and I failed each time, unable to follow my eating disorder’s barking orders.

In fact, I would get so hungry that instead of slowly returning to a normal weight in a healthy manner, I would repeat the process is again, which only enhanced my binge eating disorder. I fell into a cycle of letdown and depression, as I blamed myself for being so out of control.

And my brain went into a panic each time, scared to death that this truly would be the last opportunity I would ever feed it. Clearly, there never was a last day , nor should there ever be one.

8. You’re already obese, so you might as well maintain destroying yourself.

Once I reached my highest weight, my eating disorder told me I might as well give up. That “all or nothing” supposing I was so good at took over at full force. My eating disorder had morphed into binge eating disorder seemingly in the blink of an eye after I had struggled with anorexia for seven years.

My eating disorder convinced me once again I was worthless, a failure and too far-gone to be helped, just as it constantly blamed me with anorexia. Even though my body seemed drastically different, the same lies were being fed to me, and I helplessly obeyed. And listening to the lies resulted me to lock myself in my house for half a year in total isolation due to embarrassment.

My days were filled with loneliness, depression, abuse from my eating disorder and binging until I fell into a food coma. It took me years to eventually start to find balance.

If there is one thing I can’t stress enough, it is to reach out for help now. Start now. You are never too far-gone, and one day at a time is enough to lead you to a healthy place.

9. You binged, so you have to purge and restrict.

My eating disorder wasn’t about to let me run yet. My disease morphed is again, this time into bulimia. My eating disorder swore to me that every time I binged, I had to find a means to purge, whether that entailed through over-exercising, restricting or taking an overdose of laxatives, to somehow undo the damage or at the least punish myself for such a terrible act.

Butbecause of bulimia, I had to quit undertakings, expend countless hours in the ER, and miss out on so much in life because I was in too much pain from laxatives. If only I could have find I was wonderfully human, and that people can have fun and enjoy food without punishment.

Yet, my eating disorder had built my world so small that I had no sense of reality.

10. You are alone in this struggle. I’m your identity and your only company.

I spent my whole journey mutely fighting. I would fulfill people in therapy centers for brief periods who shared similar fights, and for fleeting moments, I didn’t feel quite so alone. But then, I would always return to my real world of isolation once again.

I started to feel crazy, as my eating disorder had become my identity and only friend. The only outlet I had for releasing some of the madness was through secretly journaling, and I did that obsessively throughout my entire battle. It wasn’t until I started getting better that I realise maybe I wasn’t so alone. I am Brittany Burgunder and not my eating disorder.

I discovered a style to create a life beyond my disease, and I chose to publish a book, Safety in Numbers. It is composed of my secret diaries. I wrote it so others might not feel so alone, while also shedding light on what it’s truly like to struggle with such a misunderstand illness.

11. Merely anorexia is dangerous.

My eating disorder wailed this to me while I was finishing my fourth hour of over-exercising at the gym. My heart ached, and my heart rate was dangerously low.

When I was struggling with my binge eating disorder, I had difficulty breathing and had to have my gallbladder removed. My doctors told me my heart was at risk. Most importantly, I had no quality of life.

When I was in the worst grips of bulimia, I actually preserved a normal weight. To the public eye, I was fine, right? What they didn’t see is I could have fallen dead at a moment’s notice because of the deadly behaviours I secretly engaged in.

Often, you cannot tell who is struggling with an eating disorder simply by looking at them, and it can be very dangerous to reach a conclusion based on appearance alone. I highly recommend you read some of the most common eating disorder myths so you can help be a part of a positive change with violating the stigma around such a deadly disease.

12. You should be ashamed to ask for help.

My eating disorder drilled into my head it was my fault for having an eating disorder, and therefore, it was my responsibility to handle it all by myself. When I was anorexic, my eating disorder told me I was just fine and never sick enough to deserve help.

Similarly, when I was struggling with binge eating disorder, it convinced me I could manage things on my own, despite the fact I wondered whether or not I should objective my life. My eating disorder also relentlessly told me how weak I would be to ask for help, even as my vicious cycle with bulimia repeated with no end apparently in sight.

Of course, I can tell you with the utmost confidence this is one of the most deadly and dangerous lies of them all. Asking for help is one of the greatest signs of strength, and it will save your life.

Having the heroism to speak about what you are going through is one of the most inspiring acts. Not merely will you help yourself, but you are able to also help others by setting two examples and serving as a role model. There are so many eating disorder resources available at all levels of care and locations. Taking steps at prevention and getting supporting are the best ways to empower oneself.

13. You will never recover.

I had many times resigned myself to the fact I was a hopeless case. After all, that is something that the doctors at just about every treatment center to say something about me whenever they kicked me out of their facilities due to my eating disorder.

At the same time, my eating disorder constantly hollered at me on a daily basis, You require me! You’re never going to recover! What a silly believe! It’s too late! Why try? You’re a loser and too stuck, anyway. Just give up already!

But, I didn’t give up. I never did. I fell on my face far more days than I can count. But, I always got up.

Recovery is anything but linear. Step by step I inched forward. Step by step, I get stronger. And step by step, my own voice became louder than my eating disorder’s voice.

I cannot reiterate enough that recovery is possible no matter how long you’ve struggled and no matter how hopeless you may feel. Recovery is likely to be the hardest thing you will ever do, and it will be the most vital and life-changing selection you will ever make.

When you hear your eating disorder speak, call it out on its lies. Move on to living your beautiful life wherever you unconditionally good enough just for being you.

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Zika virus: Texas and Florida airports at highest risk to receive infected travelers

Boston and New York airports next on list of US airports with greatest number of passengers arriving from areas with confirmed cases of the infectious disease

Airports in Florida and Texas are at the highest risk to receive more passengers with the Zika virus in the coming months, according to researchers with a grant from the US Department of Defense.

EcoHealth Alliance, an international preservation group, analyzed all airports in the US by assessing how often passengers trickle in from areas with confirmed cases of Zika virus. They identified 17 airports in 11 states and ranked them according to risk.

I believe this is something that people should know, told Andrew Huff, the associate vice-president of group, who oversees efforts to forecast the spread of infectious diseases. If you know where an infectious disease is, you can take precautions.

According to their analysis, Logan international airport in Boston, John F Kennedy international airport in New York and two in the Washington DC metropolitan area are next on the list of airports likely to receive those with the fast-spreading virus.


Rank of US airports by hazard of Zika virus. Photograph: Ecohealth Alliance

Zika has been recognized as a global emergency by the World Health Organisation because there is an unconfirmed link between the virus, most often transmitted through mosquito bites, and babies born with brain damage. While its unclear whether microcephaly, a birth defect that stunts a fetuss head from growing, is caused by Zika, the numbers of cases have swollen since it was transmitted in Brazil in 2014.

Now more than 20 country level provinces in the Americas help find Zika transmissions, places where the WHO estimates there will be as many as 4m infections.

Last week the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed that there are more than 30 occurrences spread across 11 states in the US, though it will likely release newer numbers this week.

Regarding the riskiest airports, CDC spokesman Ben Haynes used to say anything that might help curb the spread of a virus is helpful, but he did not have insight about EcoHealth Alliances analysis.

I wouldnt say anything until CDC has had a chance to look at the science behind it and we make an official recommendation, he said. Theres no guidance surrounding domestic travel at this point.

As of Thursday, the CDC was merely warning travelers headed to regions where the virus is more prevalent, especially women who are pregnant or intend to be because of the link to microcephaly, to take precautions.

But Huff said the airport analysis could be used to increase awareness at airports and in cities where his group predicts a lot of potentially Zika-infected travelers.

The software, named Flirt, was funded through a $2.4 m award from the US Defense Threat Reduction Agency, an limb of the Department of Defense, to help protect the country from outbreaks and menaces from infectious diseases. Its part of the Obama administrations National Biosurveillance Science and Technology Roadmap.

Flirt, which is an offshoot of its original name Flight Risk Tracker, was initiated with the grant last year and put to the test as Zika emerged. It incorporates where there are confirmed cases and matches it to a global dataset of daily flight routes that land, even if merely for a layover, in the US.

We made a risk-ranking profile and asked the question of Flirt, Which cities are most at risk in the US? Huff told.

He told as the virus spread here, they crosschecked the cities where it emerged with their listing, and Flirt had anticipated 10 out of 11 of them. Texas has changed from the No 1 place, when they first tested their analyses, though its unclear why.

Cities in colder climates, he told, where mosquitoes are not able to survive over winter, are at lower danger of an endemic. He told cities close to increased risk airports with warmer climates where mosquitoes live year-round, are the most sensitive.

Theres evidence that Zika can be transmitted sexually, passed on through birth and even through blood transfusions. But in so far people have been most often infected when a mosquito is carrying the virus and it bites them. And if a person carrying the virus is in the US and is bit by another mosquito thats able to carry it here, that mosquito will get it and spread it as it feeds on other people.

If youre in the middle of Kansas youre at a route lower hazard, he said.

Huff said he is unsure what the DTRA, which was not available for immediate comment, will do with the software. But he told officials there were very happy with the outcome of FLIRTs abilities.

Regardless, Haynes said Zika will continue to spread in the US, its only unclear how big of a threat it is. Its been a week and a half since physicians have been required to report all Zika lawsuits to the CDC, so the agency is incorporating the data it has received since then.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Flinders Street crash: alleged driver charged with 18 counts of attempted murder

Saeed Noori also charged with one count of conduct endangering life after being formally interviewed by police

The man who allegedly ploughed his vehicle into pedestrians in Flinders Street in Melbourne on Thursday has been remanded in custody after a brief court appearance during which he encompassed his face with his hand.

Saeed Noori, a former Afghan refugee and now Australia citizen, was charged with 18 counts of attempted murder and one count of conduct imperiling life after being formally interviewed by police on Saturday.

Noori was discharged from hospital on Friday and held in custody overnight awaiting an interview with police. Three people remain in hospital fighting for “peoples lives” following Thursday’s attack.

Noori, a 32 -year-old from Heidelberg West reportedly constructed comments about Allah and Asio in the lead-up to his interview with police.

He allegedly constructed “utterances” to police about voices, dreamings and the” poor therapy of Muslims” to policemen in hospital on Thursday evening, as well as comments about Australia’s top security body and Allah.

” I think there was something, and I don’t know the exact detail, to do with Allah and some rambles about Asio( the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation ),” acting chief commissioner Shane Patton told the Herald Sun.

Police have said the alleged driver has lived in Melbourne for a number of years and had a history of drug abuse and mental illness. He was known to police from a minor assault charge in 2010 and was on a mental health plan.

Victorian police assistant commissioner Stephen Leane said he believed it was a ” deliberate ” act, and that Noori could be charged on Saturday.

” The motive for that act we’ll work through. Our researchers will charge him with appropriate offences, if that’s what’s going to happen today.

On Saturday Victorian premier Daniel Andrews corroborated Noori had been the subject of a voluntary mental health treatment plan.

Outlining plans for heightened police presence at events in Victoria – including the Boxing Day Ashes Test, Andrews described the incident as a “cowardly” and “evil” act that has ” sickened and indignation all of us “.

Police minister Lisa Neville has said police had so far discovered no evidence at Noori’s home to suggest he had been radicalised, however, the homicide squad and counterterrorism command are both investigating.

Three people, including 2 South Korean nationals, remain in a critical condition in hospital after a automobile ploughed into pedestrians on Flinders Street in Melbourne on Thursday.

The white SUV drove on to tram tracks and then into an intersection mobbed with pedestrians about 4.45 pm, injuring 18 people before making the concrete base of a tram stop.

The alleged driver of the car was arrested at the scene by an off-duty police officer.

The off-duty police officer underwent surgery on Friday and is one of 12 people remaining in hospital.

Read more: www.theguardian.com