A scientist figured out how to get data from farts, and it could save lives.

“What did you EAT ?! “

Photo via iStock.

It’s likely the most common question that follows an untimely( or, timely, depending on who you’re with) bout of flatulence.

I’m talking about farting, people. Letting one rip. Inducing a stink. Going “Insane in the Methane.”

GIF from “The Simpsons.”

Though we’ve given a nickname to each and every one of their many variations the “squeaker, ” the “SBD, ” the “Dutch oven” and used them as the punchline to many a juvenile joke, the only thing more discomforting than a fart itself is how little we actually know about them . Some experts will tell you that the old one cheek sneak is a sign of healthy gut microbes. Others will say that it could be an early indicator of a much more serious belly problem, like inflammatory bowel disease or even colon cancer. I’m pretty sure that not letting them go causes spontaneous combustion, but what are we supposed to think ?! If only there were someone who could settle this debate once and for all !

Thankfully, there is one human who thinks he has find a remedy for our wind-breaking woes.

His name is Peter Gibson, and he’s the professor and director of fartology which I’ve learned is technically called “gastroenterology” at the Alfred Centre and Monash University in Australia.

Over the past few years, Professor Gibson has been working tirelessly to create a device capable of measuring our gas at each stage of digestion.

What comes out of the backside only tells us about the last 20 cm of the gut, Gibson said to BBC. We know bits and pieces about it, but its been very difficult to get to the crux of what is happening.”

Recently, Gibson’s team had a breakthrough in the form of a tiny, swallowable, high-tech capsule that tracks your gas as it passes through your system.

Think of it as a “fart monitor, ” if you will.

Me right now. GIF from “3 0 Rock.”

Wired to provide real-time measurements of our bowels, Gibson’s capsule takes samples of gas at regular intervals in the digestive system.

The capsule then relays its readings to a tablet computer. It’s also affixed with a sensor to asses other determining factor about the gut, like ambient temperature and acidity( which especially comes in handy when the capsule is nearing the end of its Magic School Bus-esque journey ).

You want to know if its passed out of the backside, but you wouldnt know because its only part of the stool, Gibson explained. When the temperature falls, thats when its run outside.

Gibson has already begun testing his pill device on animals and is hoping to begin human trials in the next few months.

If all runs according to scheme, Gibson and his squad will be able to use the information taken from these trials to create( I’m not joking here) a “fart library” of data that could decide the makeup of gases related to different lifestyles and diseases down the line, more accurately measuring the effects of different treatments for these diseases.

The gases we produce can tell us a lot about the country of our belly.

Photo via iStock.

How we digest food is not only a matter of our differing diets and metabolisms, but also a matter of gene growth as well. When the microbes in our intestines become irritated or otherwise harmed, they can release excess gases that not only cause discomfort, but also serve as precursors to other health problems.

For example, too much hydrogen and methane in your farts could mean you have problems with digesting carbs. Too much methane is likely to be the cause of your constipation. Excess hydrogen sulphide( aka the stink in our stink bombs) could signal that the lining of your gut has become damaged.

Basically, our farts are like snowflakes unique and individual to us all. And a change in their odor could be a cause for concern.

So I say bravo to Gibson and his squad for rolling their sleeves up and doing the dirty work required to ensure our future well-being. May his findings truly cause a stink in the gastrointestinal scientific community .

Now if merely there was a similar capsule that could actually convince the people around us that it genuinely was the dog’s fault …

Read more: www.upworthy.com

Foul odor uncovers mother, daughter dead in New York City apartment

A foul odor coming out of a New York City apartment led to a gruesome discovery.

Police said build employees analyse the smell at the Washington Irving House in Gramercy Park on Tuesday discovered a 94 -year-old woman and her 70 -year-old daughter dead in their 10 th-floor apartment.

The two women were found on the floor of a bedroom, the New York Daily News reported.

Sources told News 4 New York that the pair were found lying face down the mother was naked while the daughter was discovered in simply her underwear. They are believed to have been dead for at least two weeks.

Officials said both females suffered from health problems, but it was not immediately clear how they died. An autopsy is scheduled for Wednesday.

Investigators saw no signs of trauma or foul play, the Daily News reported.

The news agency said neighbors had complained about the living conditions at the 19 -story building, which is currently under renovation.

City Housing and Preservation Development records indicate a dozen objections made since May.

Read more: www.foxnews.com

5 Small-Ass Animals With Huge-Ass Powers

Despite what many a woman has told her ex-boyfriend, sizing doesn’t always matter. Little things can make a huge difference. Just look to nature. Oh, but it’s not the blue whales and the rhinos you should be watching — it’s the beasts so small you could not only step on them; you’d scarcely slow down to rub them off your shoe. Like …

5

Water Boatmen Are One Of The Loudest Animals Alive

Water boatmen are barely the dimensions of the a grain of rice. But don’t reject them, because they hold an impressive record: They’re one of the loudest animals on earth. And they do it all … with their dicks. See, whenever a male boatman watches a magnificent specimen of the opposite sexuality strutting around the pond, it whips out its glitch schlong and begins scratching it against its belly — a scene you have no doubt witnessed on the metro. Every single morning.

For the train-bound debase, this produces sticky fluids and police charges. For the boatman, this makes a mating bellow. One that is literally louder than a jackhammer.

Jerome Sueur, MNHN
Can you imagine how awkward masturbation “wouldve been” if that happened to you ?

A water boatman’s dong-drumming session peaks at a stunning 105 decibels. When scientists first registered this epic wang-chun, they operated more tests merely to make sure Randy the intern didn’t get high and mess with all of their equipment. But , no, it turns out that boatmen merely live life loud — so much so that a casual passerby can hear their cock concerto, even if the glitch is sitting at the bottom of a huge body of water.

BBC
“Anyway, here’s Bonerwall.”

That water is actually why people don’t go deaf from the boatman’s literal boner jams: the H20 assimilates 99 percentage of the pre-jackhammering jackhammering.

4

Salps Form Colonies The Size Of Countries

Salps are transparent, gelatinous ocean organisms that usually don’t grow larger than four inches. They’re not exactly impressive …

Larry Madin/ Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution
“Oh, yeah? Well at least when someone says sizing doesn’t matter to us it’s actually true.”

But sometimes trillions of them will come together to form huge oceanic swarms, and that’s when things get serious. Assure, thanks to the salps’ ability to grow as much as 10 percent of their body length per hour, one of those clusters can reach 38,600 square miles. That’s like 18,500, 000 football fields, or just about the size of South Korea. Ordinarily, this would be the phase we start panicking and advocate ill-advised but enthusiastic napalm deployment, but Salps do something pretty cool: They ingest carbon dioxide.

The oceans actually assimilate a lot of CO2 from the ambiance, where it’s eventually feed by phytoplankton( organisms even tinier than salps) before being released back into the air when the animals die. Salps help with that by feeing the phytoplankton themselves, and pooping out the CO2 in pellets that sink to the bottom, where the gas can’t warm up countries around the world and or/ be dismissed as a liberal conspiracy.

3

The Hat-Thrower Fungus Ejaculates Like A Rocket

Pilobolus crystallinus are tiny fungi that grow in the turd of various grass-eating animals, such as cows and horses. It’s also known as the hat-thrower fungus — largely because that sounds less gross than “megasonic cumshot fungus.”

Pilobolus is a near-microscopic cannon capable of shooting its spores( those little black “hats”) further than six feet when it reproductions. This would be like a guy of average height standing on the ground and ejaculating so hard that his sperm nails the top of the Empire State Building. Please don’t try this, by the way.

Pilobolus spores accelerate faster than an actual rocket. 42,500 days faster, to be exact. That’s 1.7 million meters per second squared. That technically builds the hat-thrower the fastest organism/ orgasmer on countries around the world, because their cumshots clock in at roughly 55 miles per hour.


Oddjob doesn’t even hurl his hat that fast .

Human ejaculation, on the other hand, doesn’t quite break 30 mph — although frankly, that still sounds pretty awesome. We fire little dudes so fast they’d get a speeding ticket.

In a school zone.

But still!

2

The Great Snipe Can Fly Up To 4,200 Miles At 60 MPH — Without Stopping

Despite sort of looking like a fat, depressed woodpecker, the great snipe( Gallinago media) is the fastest endurance flier on the planet.

The snipe undertakes an annual migration from Northern Europe to Sub-Saharan Africa — 4,200 miles — and it does the whole journey in one non-stop two-day trip, averaging 60 mph. Now, while they are amazed at the birds’ journey, scientists are generally confused about why the great snipe is in such a haste. Unlike other far-flying birds that intersect oceans( and have no place to stop ), the chubby snipe’s migratory route is largely over land. There is literally no reason they don’t stop to remainder along the way.

They only live their lives a one-quarter mile at a time .

1

A Mite From Southern California Could Run At Mach 2( If It Was Bigger )

Paratarsotomus macropalpis is a mite from Southern California. Since scientific names of animals are unwieldy, we’re going to call it mighty mite. You’ll see why in a second.

The mighty mite travelings an astounding 322 body lengths per second( compared with the cheetah’s measly 16 ). Now, due to the mites’ minuscule sizing, that merely comes out to about 0.5 miles per hour — but if the mite was the size of Usain Bolt, it would make nearly Mach 2. Most animals that reached crazy high speeds do so at the cost of maneuverability, but not the mighty mite. On the end of the mite’s third leg, there’s a barb that functions like an adorable grappling hook — allowing it to change orientation by up to 1253 degrees per second. You may have seen this trick before — on the mothafuggin’ Batmobile .

Also check out 5 Tiny Animals That Deserve Their Own Horror Movie and The 6 Deadliest Creatures( That Can Fit In Your Shoe ) . Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out The 4 Most Adorable Animal Rampages, and other videos you won’t insure on the site !

Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere .

Read more: www.cracked.com