For Anyone Whose Heartbreak Is Keeping Them Awake At Night

For Anyone Whose Heartbreak Is Keeping Them Awake At Night

Nighttime is the hardest. That’s normal, I promise.

You’re not alone in that feeling . You’re not weak, you’re not less capable of getting over heartbreak than other people. You’re not weird or pathetic for staring at your phone screen and wanting nothing more than to see it light up with their name.

What you are is hurt, and temporarily transgressed, because you were brave enough to let yourself feel something.

Because you can’t experience incredible love without also being willing to go through the possible ache of it. And right now, that’s what you’re doing. You’re experiencing the downside of the thing you were brave enough to try.

And because all of your brain’s energy during the day is going towards keeping you functioning, even if it’s just on autopilot, what that means for your nighttime routine is that all of the sadness and aching and pain that was squelched during the day comes inadvertently rushing out, demanding to be feel and acknowledged and consumed.

That’s why it’s normal that you find yourself punching your pillow at two in the morning, impression frustrated that the person who transgressed your heart has also discovered their way in to the one time of your 24 -hour day that your mind is supposed to be freed from thinking about them, the one time of day when you’re supposed to have a 7-or-8-hour transgres . Feeling the kind of relief that only sleep can bring, until you wake up and recollect after 10 or 11 seconds why it feels like there’s a brick in your stomach.

The worst truth here, though, is that the only real thing “whos going to” heal you is time.

You won’t be completely cured, you’ll be forever different because of its own experience. You won’t look up and feel immediately happy again one day, and okay and penalty and like nothing ever happened. But you will slowly begin to get to know this new version of yourself, the one who now understands what it feels like to have your heart broken and to keep living anyway. The one who looks at everyone in a new sun because you understand that there are so many routes that people can experience invisible pain. The person who at one point felt like their whole world had ended but had kept running anyway.

You will eventually begin to like this person, this new you. You will appreciate their company and see that there are a lot of things you once did with another person that you can still be happy doing alone.

You will be okay, even though your days will constantly jump between being up and down, large and still unbelievably painful.

So during this in-between time, while you are waiting anxiously to heal, only remember that you aren’t alone. You’re not the only person lying awake at night, unable to sleep because the ache in your chest is too loud. You are a human, experiencing what millions of humans before you have experienced. And you’ll be okay, because it’s in your bones. Even if tonight is not that night.

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