When most of us think of “passion, ” the idea of a relationship immediately comes to intellect. Two lovers, perfect for one another, having hot, sexuality, and being happy forever. When the majority of members of us think of “lust, ” though, that’s also something desirable in a relationship. After all, how hot is it to be in a long-term relationship with your soulmate and still be lusting after them?( Pretty hot .) What, though, exactly is the difference between passion and lust in a relationship? And are both desirable?
It’s a complicated topic, because according to the Oxford English Dictionary, the definitions contained in the two are close. Let’s explore.
Passion is defined as “1) a strong and barely controllable emotion, 2) a country or outburst of strong emotion, 3) intense sexual love, 4) an intense desire or exuberance for something, and/ or 5) a thing eliciting great enthusiasm.”
Lust, on the other hand, is defined as “1) strong sexual desire, 2) a passionate desire for something, or 3) a sensuous appetite regarded as sinful.”
So the dictionary may not be a lot of assistance, because the two terms are conflated( I entail, one is actually used in the definition of the other, FFS !) but it does devote us direction.
Lust, it seems, is something that may generally be seen as bad. And in fact, many of us are guilty of attributing a negative connotation to the word. But we may be too quick to judge lust. After all, if it’s merely a “strong sexual desire, ” then it should be good in a relationship as well, right? Well, yes, but it’s important to delineate the differences between lust and passion. While one is wonderful to have in spades, the other is best in conjunction with love.
See, here’s what it simmers down to: Passion is an intense feeling that you can have about anything( a partner, a hobby, a cause, etc .), but lust aims up being just an intense need to please yourself. In a relationship, both are OK, with lust being better in moderation.
Love and lust aren’t “either/ or” propositions. Neither are love and passion. You shouldn’t simply have one or the other. In fact, in a really healthy, caring, happy relationship, you’ll have all three: love, lust, and passion.
Specifically, passion is more than just reserved for the bedroom. Lust, on the other hand, is generally about one thing and one thing merely: sexuality. You can be passionate about something unrelated to sexuality. You can be passionate about a pastime. You can be passionate about your matrimony. You can even be passionate about your partner’s kindness. And of course, you and your partner can be passionate about each other.
It’s a hallmark of a great relationship when the two partners are passionate about each other and about everything related to each other. My spouse and I are passionate about each other in general, but we’re also passionate about our wedding, our sex life, our bond, our friendship, and our life together. We also both have individual passions outside the relationship: I am passionate about my operate and my workouts, he is passionate about his chiropractic career, and we’re both passionate about helping animals by not feeing meat. In general, we’re passionate people, and it attains our relationship great.
Still, we’re also pretty lustful. There are moments that I just have to have my husband, and I’m not under any illusion that it’s about anything other than my desire. Similarly, I know he sometimes gets overwhelmed and just requires me sexually at certain times. And truthfully, it’s totally awesome because it’s nice to be that attracted to your spouse and feel like your spouse is that attracted to you.
That said, though, our sexuality life doesn’t run only on lust. If it did, we would both be fairly selfish fans. Our sexuality life operates on both lust( our desire to please ourselves) and passion( our willingness to please one another because we’re passionate about our wedding ).
Normally, a relationship that’s based exclusively on lust won’t last for the long haul. When the sexual attraction starts to fizzle, the parties will look up and realise there’s nothing left because there were just chasing their own sex requires. A relationship based on passion, though, can last, as long as the passion is about more than merely sexuality! You should be passionate about everything your partner is and everything your relationship can be. A passionate relationship usually entails the two partners are willing to compromise and stimulate sacrifices for one another and to work hard on their love.
At the end of the working day, neither passion nor lust is a wholly negative trait to have with your long-term love. Yes, a relationship shouldn’t be based exclusively on lust or passion, but they’re both fine to have. It’s just about how present they are in your relationship and how they are serving your partnership.
So go ahead and chase after it all, because it is totally possible to have a caring, supportive, and healthy relationship that’s filled with passion and lust.
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