1. For you, the dreaded Freshman Fifteen had little to do with brew and a lot to do with unlimited frozen yogurt after every. Damn. Meal. Ice cream? Here? Now? AS MUCH AS I WANT? You cant be serious.
2. If only subconsciously, you still kinda select friends based on their snack collects . This tactic is surely adopted from a highly similar elementary school tactic, where youd befriend the cool children whose parents set Fruit Roll-Ups in their lunches. 3. Honestly, Fruit Roll-Ups are extremely important to you . You have no dishonor in facing them to this day, because you were actively denied them as a child. In fact, you pregamed breakfast with two this very morning. 4. You have an astounding ability to eat 4 Chips Ahoy! cookies in one mouthful , and in college, that mouthful often accounts for your~ appetizer course .~ 5. You still mythologize Lunchables . Youve likely never had one because, like, your mothers didnt want you to have a childhood. And it seems a little weird to enter the Lunchables game at 21 years old. So they remain a thing of legend. 6. Your mini fridge is stuffed with snacks for any visitors who might come through . You still remember the stale stench of awkwardness that lingered in your family kitchen when you and a playdate hankered for snacks, but the most exciting foods you could offer were Kashi and dried cranberries. 7. You have multiple burns on your tongue from the scorching lava cakes commonly known as Pizza Rolls . These burns date between fourth grade and present day. None were met with regret. 8. Today, a healthy desert features a medley of sugary cereals from the cafeteria . As small children, the most health subversive cereal you were allowed was Wheaties( not organic ). If a friends mothers let Fruit Loops in the house, that friend was a sleepover buddy for life, indeed. 9. You dread your habits of doing gross shit with sugary treats wont be well received in the real world . You still divide Oreos, for example, in order to create a giant white mass of the cream portion, that can be eaten as a TOTALLY SEPARATE course from the cookie component. 10. The first time you savoured a cinnamon roll was likely drunk( or hungover) sometime during freshman year . Its been argued that it was the single most pleasurable moment of your life. 11. Youre famous in your dorm/ house for crafting genuinely bizarre snack combos . Ketchup on crackers. Nutella on pizza crust. When you were young, youd take what alarmingly few exciting snack alternatives you could find, and attain the best of a critically* high fiber, all natural, low fat, low sodium, high protein, enclosure free* kind of a situation.
12. When preparing your favorite dinner, Annies mac& cheese, youve been known to snack on the pulverized white cheddar before the water reaches a rolling boil. As a kid, that pretty much tasted like delicious, salty rebellion, and youd eat it plain.
13. No, you have not stopped trick or treating/ accepting candy from strangers on Halloween . Youre making up for the lost hour/ Reeses Piece your papa would throw away exactly one week after the holiday.
14. You lately had your first KFC experience. It lived up to literally all of your expectations. Every. Single. One.
15. Soda might be the one junk item youve never genuinely fetishized . For the majority of members of kidhood, your parents had you genuinely convinced that seltzer was soda. Now it’s just too damn sweet, even for you.
16. Although youve never genuinely understood the anti-crust moment, to this day, you can never turn down an Uncrustables those soft, circular, individually packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that, as a kid, youd manage to steal at least five of if they ever made an appearance on a field trip.
17. Your friends give you shit for being bougie when it is necessary to groceries, though ; as much as you revel in formerly proscribed snackage, youre still prone to* store organic* for your entre.
So you dated someone and thought he was the one! Awarded, you thought the delivery guy who accidentally grazed your limb as he handed you the pizza was also the one, but thats beside the point.
If youre anything like mesomeone who obsesses over a hot barista just because they spell your name right several months in a rowyoure likely currently struggling to get over person you dated, even if you two were only official in your head.
Below are some tips-off on how to get over person , no matter how long you actually dated or how serious the relationship was.
STEP 1: CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION