The Honest Truth About Finding Your Forever Person Too Early

Finding your forever person is hard enough, but finding them five or ten years too early is heartbreaking to say the least.

Finding your forever person is like finding your soulmate. Seemingly impossible, but when you find it, you grab onto it with all the strength that you have. And when you find that kind of love, you never ever want to let go of it. But sometimes, it’s just the wrong timing. And sometimes, that bond breaks and bends and there is nothing you can do about it. It just happens.

When you find your forever person too early, the thoughts of ‘forever’ and ‘ever after’ can go out the window. So often, we find our fairytale when we aren’t even grown yet. We find our happily ever after in high school or college, and we watch that slowly fade into black as time moves on. We find our ‘person’ at an age where we don’t even know who we are yet.

And how can we grow old with someone when we are barely old enough to know ourselves?

I found him when I was 17. He was ‘it’. The ‘one’. The boy of my dreams, the man of my destiny. But at 17, I didn’t know who I wanted to be. He didn’t know who he wanted to be. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life, and neither did he. We were just two people, floating through life aimlessly, not knowing what the future had in store.

Three years passed, and I still thought he was the one. No one could have told me otherwise. No one could have convinced me that I was too young, or too naive for it to last. I it was going to last. I knew it in every cell in my soul and every bone in my body. It was a fact written on myexistence.

But at 21, when our college careers were taking flight and when plane rides and time change took it’s toll, we were through. It happened so slowly, that neither of us knew it was coming.

And all of a sudden, just in a matter of minutes, my forever was gone. My one and only, lost. My sanctuary and home for the last 3 years was now – empty.

I had my big love too early. It happened too quickly and ended too slowly. We were moving in fast motion right up until the end. My world went from a vivid redto grey and black clouds that blurred my vision.

When you find your forever person too early, there will be a permanent crack on your heart. When you find your forever person too early, a part of you will break and you will never get that piece back. When you find your forever person too early, it will take years for your heart to come back toits former self.

When you find your forever person too early, you will never be the same.

It’s a bittersweet symphony. Finding great love. Falling in love. Giving your heart to someone. Seeing a future with them, and having kids to call your own. You see a picture of how your life could be. And you see it with them.

But when it ends too soon, it’s hard to get back up again. It’s hard to pick up all of your shattered pieces that have been planted on the ground beneath you. When it ends too soon, it’s hard to get back to the person who you used to be, without them.

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You Will Move On, No Matter How Hard It Seems Right Now

Healing is trying to detach from the person or persons you imagined expending your life with.

Its learning how to live without person youve become to dependent on.

Its learning to find happiness again in yourself when youve spend so much day leaning on them to cheer you up when you were feeling down.

Its learning to dry your own tears and finding ways to attain yourself laugh.

Its learning how to do everything on your own again and cope with the loneliness you feel without reaching out to them.

Its alienation.

Its sneaking loneliness you cant escape .

Its staying up until 3 AM only hoping theyll text you, even though its been days or weeks of silence.

Healing is going insane, its stalking them on social media, asking your friends about them and building up scenarios inside your head, only incase they reach out. It’s a hundred typed text messages that you always deleted.

Its aches in your heart that you dont think youll ever find the strength to heal.

Its darkness creeping over your repeatedly at night while you’reclinging onto their shirt as you try to sleep, wishing it was them.

Its wanting to give up, to cease life, its not wanting to be productive and was intended to crawl into a dark pit of despair and self-loathing.

But then one day without warning you realized youve changed .

You grew.

You woke up and you decided it was time to stop missing them.

You realise they’re gone and they’re not coming back, so it’s time to move on.

The dark cloud that was hanging over your head, has turned to gray and before you know it you start to see the sun peaking out.

You unravel all the bandages you placed all over your bruised and beaten heart and you can feel again, and not just sadness.

You finally recollect what it feels like to laugh again and have fun. You remember what it feels like to walk around without a heavy weight constantly bringing you down. You feel new and you start to feel whole again because you realize there is more than them out there.

You realize they are not the sole reason for your existence and you realise you can be fine on your own. You can be your own happiness; you dont need them to live , no matter how much you thought you did at one point. There is more out there for you and it might take time but youll realize it.

Behind the jet-black darkness they left you standing in scared and alone, you will find your way out and you are able to pick up every shambled piece you thought youd never find and you will move on.

You will live, except this time you will be learning to live for yourself and no one else.

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61 People Confess What They Would Say To The Ex Who Was’ The One That Get Away’

Sometimes” The One That Got Away” is that famous Katy Perry song that unconsciously plays in the background when you come across a rather happy photo of your ex, but most of the time it’s just the ex that one person you could’ve and should’ve objective up with if it hadn’t been for a couple of bad decisions you both have stimulated, or some force-out beyond your control a.k.a. fate. Basically they’re the ones we regret, in one route or another.

More often than not they vanish from our lives too quickly and just leaves us with this huge dump of unsaid things and a shitload of emotions to deal with. Here are sixty and one souls different people, different cities, different faces with different narratives, different ages, some young, some too young and some, well , not so young. All have one thing in common. They all have something to say to their one that got away . If it matters, a couple of them have been together in the past and are talking about the other. Care to guess who used to be with who? While some of them requested for their names to be changed, some didn’t. And one of them might actually be talking about you…

1. ” Their own families misses you. Sometimes it feels like they’ve been with you longer than I have. I remember how my mama and my little brother literally screamed when I told them we’ve decided to end things. They kinda miss you quite terribly. I miss you quite terribly too .”

2. ” I wish I hadn’t pushed you away .”

3. ” You are, by far, the best and the worst decision I’ve induced .”

4. ” I’m sorry we had to let one another go. We weren’t exactly the best couple, we had so many misunderstandings, so many differences, and I think it’s the universe telling us that we’re not attained for each other. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve cause you, and thank you for building me realise who I am, to become the person or persons I am now .”

5. ” Guess I should’ve swiped left ?”

6. ” After you left, I changed my best friend’s contact name to yours and asked her to text me good mornings and good nights every day. It went on for months. It was creepy hahaha but it helped me move on for some reason. I still miss you sometimes though .”

7. ” I’m really sorry for scratching your car and telling your mothers that I thought you were cheating. Turns out you weren’t….but I was. Just thought it takes one to know one. I’m really sorry .”

8. ” Well you weren’t wholly my TOTGA because we got back together after a couple of years but I was really stupid. I didn’t know what I was going to lose until you walked away from me. It was painful seeing you wrap your limbs around him and kiss him along the vestibules and everyday in class. And when prom came, I’ve never seen anyone look so good in a dress and it violated me that I wasn’t your first and last dance that night. You and him, young love, in the most innocence of the phrase. And even now that we’re together again, it still kills me inside knowing you could have spent those little moments with me if I wasn’t such a dick .”

9. ” I still miss you and I do think about you often but I definitely don’t want you back in my life. Au revoir , motherfucker !”

10. ” I always tell people that I never really liked or loved you. But truth is, I did and I still do. There’s just something about you that attains it hard to forget .”

11. ” No unhappiness. Thankful you’re the one I shared all my firsts with. Thank you for trusting me .”

12. ” I really thought you’d say yes .”

13. ” I’m getting married soon. My fiance doesn’t know about you and she doesn’t know that I still love you after all this years. But I hope you don’t come back anymore because I don’t want to end up leaving her .”

14. ” I don’t really know. Sucks to think that all the years we’ve expended together are now only memories long gone. Was he worth it? Was he worth this? I sure damn hope he is. I wish you two all the happiness I can’t have .”

15. ” It hurt when your friends had no idea I exist in your life. When we’re around other people it’s as if I’m nothing to you. You change the way you act and I don’t know, I only wish I was the prettier type or the kind of daughter you can flaunt when you’re at parties and when you hang out with your buds. Cause I was never that kind of girl you know? I wish I wasn’t so embarrassing for you. I wish I was something you could be proud of .”

16. ” I wish you weren’t 23 and wedded and I wish you had use a condom when you fucked my best friend years ago. Fuck you cause I still love you .”

17. ” I would’ve said’ I do’ if you ever asked .”

18. ” I wish your parents weren’t so homophobic .”

19. ” I don’t have a real life TOTGA thankfully, but okay, I wish you weren’t a fictional book character and I actually wish you didn’t succumb. Also, fuck you Jojo Moyes and Suzanne Collins .”

20. ” Why are you still so nice to me? I wasn’t ready, I left, I lied, I cheated, I fooled around when you gave me all your attention. So, why? It would’ve been easier to move on if you just became cold to me. I deserved it anyways .”

21. ” I regret deleting your messages .”

22. ” You were a terrible, horrible, really bad kisser but I severely remember you in every person I kiss and sleep with. I always secretly wish and imagined it was still you who I’d sleep with and wake up to the next day .”

23. ” It took me a while to make up my intellect. It was March 18, 2014 when I flew to surprise you with flowers, a script of apologies and a poem in my head. You always loved my poems..but wow I was a week and two days late. You were already with someone then. I still mean that proportion where I said ” I’d give up all my tomorrows if it meant reliving every single yesterday I spent with you .” 2016 and it still haunts me how you said you would have said yes if I arrived at your doorstep a week and three days earlier .”

24. ” I really hope we bump into each other at the coffee shop which is something we first fulfilled. Just so I could gladly spill coffee all over you again. Fucking. Boiling. Coffee .”

25. ” I hope you gratify some other dude who will sweep you off your feet before I become stupid and selfish enough to ask you to come back and stay with me again. Please, please, merely fall in love with someone else who isn’t me. I don’t deserve you .”

26. ” One of the worst things you can ever do to someone is cheat on them. I entail, it actually sucks. I admit I’ve long forgiven you but I carry your mistake even when we’re no longer together. I’m with someone else now and every time I find myself seduced to cheat, I merely remind myself of how bad it hurt me when you did. So thank you .”

27. ” When you left, I literally forgot who I was before we were together .”

28. ” The last time I called you wasn’t an accident. My brother pressing your contact or him wanting to talk to you was all some petty lie only to talk to you and hear your voice. I’m sorry I’m not the best at burning bridges. Guess you merely meant more to me than I did to you .”

29. ” I don’t hate you anymore, but I still can’t forgive everything you’ve done to me. Sorry .”

30. ” I’m still hoping that one day you’d call and please tell me you made a mistake and that you still love me .”

31. ” Can we literally and figuratively sleep with one another one last period ?”

32. ” I still can’t believe how anyone could just fling all those years and memories away and make it seem so easy .”

33. ” I truly miss how you’d let me play with your hair a lot and how it almost always smells like cinnamon. Weird .”

34. ” I knew you were cheating the entire period. And no, I don’t hate you. Not one bit .”

35. ” I’ve been thinking about it since the day you left me and I don’t know, it’s been what, 2 years? I wish I knew or at the least I wish you told me what I did wrong or where it all went wrong. It’s hard playing intellect games with myself and thinking it was all my fault .”

36. ” I wish you never told me you loved when you knew in your heart that it was still her .”

37. ” I’m sorry I never had the gallantry to tell you I was really into you .”

38. ” I wish I fulfilled you “when hes” older and more err, I don’t know, mature, determined and chosen? We were too young and innocent and we rushed things .”

39. ” I wish you told me early on that you dislike being attached and that you were incapable of commit and loving anyone .”

40. ” I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you’ve always wanted me to be. Sorry .”

41. ” I have nothing against gays but fuck you, merely fuck you for trying to win my friendship and affection just so you could get close to my brother .”

42. ” I bought us floor tickets to Ed Sheeran’s concert but we never got to watch cause you broke up with me. It was almost a year’s worth of allowance but oh well, glad I watched it with my little sister instead. We both tell konnichiwa. P.S. Saw that the guy you dated a week after we broke up bought you Lower Box tickets to Ed, cool cool .”

43. ” When I started working here in Hong Kong I see your face almost everywhere. A plenty of daughters look like you. A lot .”

44. ” I wish you were easier to forget than remember .”

45. ” I hope you’ll be a million times happier than you were with me. I just really want you to be happy .”

46. ” I still love you even though you’re trying to convince everyone that you are now straighter than ever. Best of luck, dude, bro, man .”

47. ” I actually believed I could find someone better. This has got to be the biggest mistake I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life .”

48. ” As much as I disliked you for leaving me, I’m thankful that you did because I never would’ve been able to. And if I didn’t? I wouldn’t have met her .”

49. ” I simply don’t want to say anything to her anymore .”

50. ” Always remember to wake up at 7 am daily, to eat and never skip snacks, to drink about 8 glasses of water a day and to sleep a full 8 hours, alright? I won’t be there to remind and take care of you everyday anymore .”

51. ” I wish we didn’t start as friends with benefits .”

52. ” I’m sorry for falling out of love with you when you never did anything wrong. I wish I knew how to reverse it when it was happening. I was so scared I didn’t know what to do and I feel so guilty until today .”

53. ” We had 2 chances, love. We used to believe that we were destined for one another. But I guess this isn’t what the world wants for us. While the two of us were being happy, many people were also getting hurt. Thank you for dedicating us up for their happiness instead of ours. Thank you for minding their business instead of ours. Thank you for leaving me simply because I can’t leave you, again. Do I love you? Yes. Can I still trust you? No. Hope you grow a dick to fight for what you want next time. Fuck you for leaving me empty .”

54. ” I can’t stand the thought of someone else being with you and knowing you the style I do, and so much more. I can’t stand the thought of someone else holding your hands, tracing your back up and down like mine did. I can’t stand the thought of you loving someone else. I simply can’t .”

55. ” I know you faked all your orgasms. For the record, I did too.”

56. ” You were once my home. I hope I was yours too .”

57. ” The last thing you told me was ” I love you, trust me I truly do. I just require time to find myself. Please forgive me .” I was holding on to the possibility of you coming back but now I hope you just take it back and tell me you no longer love me. Please help me forget you cause I actually want to. Please .”

58. ” I should’ve told you what you “ve been meaning to” me .”

59. ” Did you ever actually love me ?”

60. ” If you ever come back this instant, or 4 minutes from now, 3 months, two years later, I’d leave everything and everyone behind and just run away with you if you wanted me to. I won’t ever let you get away from me ever again. And oh, I still really love you .”

61. ” I love you. Thank you for coming back .”

So, if you had one chance, what would say to the one that got away?

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3 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Texting Person Who Ghosted You

Getting ghosted is easily one of the most serious feelings in the world.

Sure, the act itself, and its aftereffects, are bad for both parties involved, but the person beingghosted is always the one left in limbo, wondering what exactly happened.

Where did things go wrong? What did that they do that caused the ghosting? Is there anyway they could’ve changed the turn of events?

If you’ve been a victim to ghosting, kicked to the kerb with no response, odds are you’ve held( or are currently considering) reaching out to the person that ghosted you for an explanation.

But that’s the thing: Should you? Is it even worth it?

So, before you going hitting the send button, ask yourself these threequestionsbefore making up your ghoster one more time 😛 TAGEND

1. What Am I Hoping To Gain From This?

Have an honest moment with yourself before you decide to text someone that ghosted you and ask: What do I truly want?

Are you looking for a reconnection? Are you just looking to get some feelings out? Are you looking to make the person or persons feel bad about what they did?

Unfortunately , none of these are a good enough reason to reach out to the person who caused you such emotional distress.

It hurts to be ignored or broken up with, says Chicago-basedmatchmaker, Stef Safran. However, these days it is part of dating. The question is what do you hope to happen? If they left once, they could easily leave again.

If you are looking for a reconnection, looking elsewhere. Someone that ghosts you won’t easily respond to text from you attempting to open the door again.

This isn’t a good way to getfeelings out or feel some type of vindication, either.It’s a better idea to call a friend to talk things through that let your vulnerability be exposed to someone so callous.

This is not someone you can count on, and they’re going to build you feel even more lonely when they ghost you again, saysNew York-basedrelationship expert, April Masini.

Before you decide to text someone that ghosted you, truly sit down and figure out what you want from it. If it’s not attainable, then just let it go.

2. Can I Manage It If I Don’t Get A Response Again?

Let’s be real: If someone ghosted you, what builds you think they will respond to another text?

It’s unlikely that someone with the emotional maturity of a peanut whodecided to ghost in the first place will respond to anything else you send their way. Remember, it could be not to hear a response from them now than it was when they first left.

Safran says to think about the following before making any move toward your ghoster: How will you feel if they don’t react at all, or in a few days? Will you feel worse if they don’t contact you back again?

Because odds are, they probably won’t.

If you’re desperate, texting someone who ghosted you will simply add fuel to that fire, says Masini. A person who ghosts isn’t interested in your mental health or your well being. They want what they want when they want it, and they’re not up for etiquette or responsibility.

In all likelihood, simply the act of reaching out one more time will open a meander that is better left closed.

3. Is This Something I Actually Want To Do?

More than anything, you should ask yourself if texting your ghoster is something you want to do.

Plain and simple, the more common advice you’ll get from many outlets, including wedding therapistNicole Richardson, is: Don’t do it!

Richardson added,

At this phase, there are very few days in life that we are truly unavailable for more than a few hours and if “weve been”, we most likely planned it. If your last one or two texts have gone without reply, call or text a friend and let them know you are in the midst of being ghosted and in need of consolation. Even if the person lost their phone( which would typically be replaced within less than 24 hours) if you blow them up they will probably think you are obsessive when they do get their telephone back.

According to Richardson , no good can come from texting someone who may have ghosted you, so simply don’t do it at all.

It’ll merely lead to more commotion, heartache, and pain that you don’t need to include in your life. Don’t allow yourself to think that you to text your ghoster; they cut you out of the picture, so let them live on with their life will you live yours.

Yes, ghosting straight outbut it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. Ghosting has to do exclusively with how immature the other person is, and how they’ve decided not to handle any grown-up emotions by leaving the situation.

Before you decide to text person that ghosted you, ask yourself these questions. Make an informed decision about whether it’s worth it opportunities are, regrettably, it’s not.

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Everything You Need To Do To Completely Cleanse Your Ex From Your Life

In thecity where I lived for the last nine years and for most of my adult dating life, it is notoriously difficult to never see someone again. This includes your ex.

In other places, blockingsomebody on Facebook might mean that you dont run into them again for months or years at a time. On more than one occasion, I have broken up with somebody, only to, weeks later, look over and consider them at the same movie as me.

At one point, it was so bad that I even had an ex buy a house behind mine less than a month after our breakup.

All of these ghosts taught me a lesson, though. When geography doesnt allow you to move on, then you need to find a way to do so, spiritually.

Here are the fail-safe steps I follow to cleanse my life of my old relationship, and make room to bring in something new.

Get rid of all visual reminders of your ex.

Hopefully, if youre at the point of was intended to get someone out of your life completely, youve already stopped talking tothem.

If you arestilltexting them, then what are you doing? Violate the cycle by takingyour telephone, throwing it out in the street, and runningover it twice. Leave it out there until it rains.

Youre going to want to do a deep clean of your apartment to get rid of any visual cue that reminds you of your ex. Start by puttingall the items that belong to them in one box, and everything that belongs to you, but remindsyou of them( for example, that salt lamp she bought you for your birthday) in another.

If you come across any samples of their handwriting, keep one to perform a binding spell later.

The same should apply to electronic communications as well. Go through your email and text messages, and cleanse your ex from all correspondencesso you dont keep encountering their name. Remove all playlists from your Spotify.

If you are the sentimental kind, you are able to simply move the messages out of your inbox and to another folder which allows you look at them when you dont care anymore.The option is yours. Just know thatthis will notcleanse your ex from your lifecompletely.

As for the boxes of material items, what you do with them is up to you.I recommend dumping their belongingson their front porch, and then, burning rubber as you squeal away.

Or, you know, you can always burn them.

Conducta smudgingritual.

When the items are stowed, take a bundle of sage, and cleanse your ex and their aura from your homeby smudging your space.Smudging is an ancient ritual wherein the smoking from a sage bundle actually changes the composition of the air and pacify you.

Sage bundles can usually be found at your local herb store, or if you grow sage, you can stimulate your own by bundling it, tying it, and hanging it upside down for it to dry.

Light the bundle of sage until it smokes, blowing out any flames that might appear. Wave it over your body from your feet to your head, imagining your ex leaving your life.

If you want to whisper an incantation to accompany this action, you canrepeat this a few periods 😛 TAGEND

All negativity now scatters. May this house be cleansed, free of all bad forces, thoughts, and energies. May it remain so.

When you have cleansed your body, cleanse your apartment by conducting the smoke into all corners, passageways, and doors.

Once youre finished, press the sage in a heat-proof receptacle such as an ashtray or ceramic bowl until it stops smoking. Inter it in your backyard to complete the ritual.

Rearrange your furniture.

Once your exs aura is cleansed from your space, rearrange your furniture so that you dont associate the memory of your ex with your space.

Put your bed in a new corner, building sure that it is not positioned in the center of your room. If you and your ex spent a lot of time in, say, the living room or kitchen, be sure to change up the furniture in both sets of rooms, too.

Changing up your lines of sight will mean that when you look at yourfamiliar surrounds, you wont automatically remember your ex sitting in a specific chair or lying in your bed.

Think of it as a route of cleansing them from your involuntary memories, just like youre cleansing them from your physical space.

Banish their name.

Make sure your friends and family know that you are deep-cleaning your ex from your life. This means that they should avoid bringing up your exs name in conversation.

If you live in a small city like I did, be sure to specify that you also dont want to be invited to parties or gatherings where your ex is going to be. Cleanse your ex from your social circles like you cleansed them from your home.

This will make sure that, even if you blocked them on Facebook, you wont find yourself sharing a Friday night with them.

It ought to go without saying, but you might also want to let your friends know that you dont want to hear news about them.

No, you dont want to know how they are doing or who they were out with the other night. Youre moving on and so are they, but that doesnt mean you need to know any details.

Cast a binding spell.

Even if you have cleansed your ex from your space, intellect, and friend circle, its still likely you are going to end up running into them, at the least within the first few months after a breakup.

The universe has ways of testing you like that. Also, its hard to set into a new routine right away, and you and your ex probably had shared spaces that you liked to go together.

A binding spellwont cause any harm to your ex. It just means that if youshould find yourself in the same space, they wont be allowed to do any harm to you.

On the next waningmoon, takean old, black T-shirt, and cut out two layers that are roughly the shape of your ex. Sew up the sides, but leave the head of the poppet open.

Through this opening, fill up the poppet with Earthand a handwriting sample from your ex( if you have it ). If you dont have a handwriting sample, you are able to include their photograph.

You can also put in a piece of smoky quartz and amethyst, if you have small crystals on hand.

Wrap the poppet up with black ribbonwhile envisaging the ribbonis tying up your ex, preventingthem from doing farther harm from you.

Once it is completely bound, holdthe poppet out from you, visualizing all of the negative energy your relationship and breakup brought you, then throwit away from yourself.

Tossthe poppet in the nearest body of water, and dont look back whenyou walk away.

For incantations to say while conducting a binding spell, you are able to check out the ,$ 3, Amazon .

If a binding spell doesnt sound likeyour thing, you can alwaysjust avoid that one noodleplacewhere you always used to go together.Whatever works for you.

Create an altar to bring new love into your life.

This is my favorite step of the cleansing process, because it allows you to put yourself at the center of their own lives again.

Clear off the top of your favorite bookshelf, including wiping off any dust with a cloth. This should be a space that are frequently within your line of sight.

Choose several objects that you consider sacred. They should be items that feel good when you hold them. In the past, Ive included seashells, candles, photographs of friends, and crystals on my altar.

Whatever you choose, the items should represent you.

Arrange the items on the top shelf in the way that is most pleasing to you. As you are arranging the items on your altar, visualize what you wishes to bring into your life.

If your thoughts always leap tolove when making a wish such as this one, I recommend wishing for love for yourself.When you are secure in your love for yourself, it allows anothers love to come in.

You can replenish it with fresh flowers and new objects on a weekly basis.

While there might not be any scientific evidencethat building altars and conducting bind spells actually get rid of your ex, faith never required any proof. Besides that, manyhave learned by now thatto cleanse your ex from your social media feedonly does so much.

Conducting these little rites of self-care gives you is high time to meditate and clear out your inner space, as much as the space in your home.

Sometimes, your mind is the most difficult thing to set right after a split. These little spellsmight just be the trick.

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