Why Everyone Should Run To Therapy

I don’t know you. I don’t know your narrative or your past.I don’t know the heart breaking or confusion or conflict in your life. I don’t know if you’re having relationships a matter that hurt and confuse and steal your elation. I don’t know if you’re struggling with your child and the role of parenthood has beaten you down. I don’t know the trauma or abuse or intestine wrenching rawness you’re going through.

I don’t know you. But I do know something about you.

I know your tale is worthy. I know you’re able to heal, to rise from the ashes and become the person or persons you were created to be. I know that with a little support, you’ll be back on your feet and the frightening cloud of inner distress will be lifted.

I’ve sat in the offices of five different therapists in my life time. I don’t seem the type to want a therapist. I don’t have any abuse in my past. I come from a happy home with loving mothers. I’ve sat across from many therapists, waiting for me to unleash my supposed repressed memories of a painful childhood- but I simply don’t have any.

But what I do have is this anxiety, this panic, this depression, that grips it’s long, jagged fingernails tightly into the walls of brain, making it hard to breathe or insure straight or feel normal. The medication built me sicker than my nervousnes did, so I went to therapy instead.

I’ve sat across from all types of therapists. Male, female, old, young, black, white, free, professional, cognitive behavior therapists, counselors, talkative, quiet…the list goes on. I’ve had good therapists…and I’ve had very bad therapists.

But I’m here to tell you something important. There is NO SHAME in discovering counseling, therapy, wisdom, subsistence. There is NO SHAME in telling someone you meet with a therapist or counselor. There is NO SHAME in attempting help. There is NO SHAME in realizing you need an unbiased third party.

In fact, it’s the bravest thing you can do. The ultimate sort of self-care. The champion of natural redress. Opening up to a stranger is frightening. But I’m telling you…it’s worth it. It is. You’ll find this version of yourself that you didn’t realize you had in you- one that is brave, and worthy of healing from feelings that gnaw at you.

Realize it is GOOD to talk about the wounds that haunt you.

An highly dear friend recently told him that ” All people could benefit from going to counseling. The smart people actually go .”

Be a smart person. Take the first step. You can do it. It’s worth it. I promise.

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Trust In The Timing Of Your Life

Life is chaotic sometimes. Just as you think everything is going swimmingly, something happens that sends you out of whack. It stimulates you a little bit adrift and this unsettling feeling is hard to shake. Whether its losing your job, your SO, or even if your favorite coffee shop closes down( yes, this would suck for me ), its important to take a step back, exhale and surrender.

I always get into a funk when my life goes off balance. Sometimes I feel like Ive taken one step forwards and two steps back. Thats when I stop and realise,

It’s okay.

Its okay to feel behind, its okay not to be okay, but at the same hour its important to pick yourself up. I give myself 10 emotional minutes in a day if I need it, then I get up and remind myself that I am a gangster( with a matcha latte and a yoga mat ).

Accept.

We want to control everything around us, the situations and the person or persons, but youve got to remember that you cant control every aspect of your life. Dont waste your energy into things you cant control. Instead, utilize that energy to get yourself closer to those goals and being the best version of yourself.

Trust.

Trust in life and trust in yourself. Trust that where you are at in your life at the moment is the right thing and the thing this is necessary most. Dont compare your life to others, everyone is on an individual journey and is on a completely different route and scrolling through your feed upon social media isnt going to stimulate you feel better if you think everyone is ahead of you. Life isnt a race so slow down.

Learn.

Learn from the struggles, falls, heartache, heartbreak, loss, and endings. Because when something ends, a new thing begins. Learn from the people who have come into your life and left, learn from the people who are still here, learn from your experiences good and bad, and most of all learn from yourself.

Celebrate.

We all have objectives that we one day trying to achieve, but in the meantime celebrate your small wins and keep yourself motivated. Focusing on only the big goal can be daunting at times when you think youre not getting closer to it, so look at each step as a tick in the box, getting you that much closer to your goals and go and have that glass of wine and celebrate( any excuse for a tipple ).

Be grateful.

Be grateful for everything in your life. Acknowledge the good no matter how small. You woke up this morning and have another chance at life, you have great friends and family, you have a roof over your head whatever it is, be grateful.

Remember, life is amazing, then awful. And then its amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful, its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the nasty, and relax and exhale during the course of its ordinary. Thats just living, heart-breaking, soul-healing, astounding, nasty, ordinary life and its breathtakingly beautiful.

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30 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Construct Your Life Better Tomorrow

Everyone feels low at some phase, and it is feasible to seducing to wallow in those sad feelings. Sometimes we just cant assist putting ourselves down. However, that can build the impressions worse, and it can induce problems seem bigger than they actually are.

Thankfully, you can easily turn those negative impressions around by doing a few simple things. Although it may be difficult to think about doing something positive, you have the power to do so. Your intellect is a powerful tool, and you rule your intellect- it isnt the other way around.

Dont beat yourself up; here are 30 ways to feel better about yourself today.

1. Apologize to anyone who you think you have hurt.

2. Stop the negative talk in your head or at least acknowledge that it is your insecurities talking and not you.

3. Go play with your pet, or watch a funny animal video on Youtube. A penguin falling over will attain you feel better, even if its only for a second.

4. Change one thing about your life that you dont like.

5. Relive one of your favorite memories. Think about how happy and relaxed you felt, and remember that you will believes this way again if you want to.

6. Dont carry the weight of the world on your shoulders; let someone else help you with a tough decision.

7. Find something you can give to a friend, like a CD or DVD that you know theyd like.

8. Treat yourself to something that you love. Whether it is a new dress, a new game or an avocado, if you love it, it will construct you happy.

9. Call your best friend and tell them that you are feeling down. Talk about it for a while if you want but then ask your friend to tell a funny gag or story to put a smile on your face.

10. Go to your local park and spend some time on the swings.

11. If you feel really low, weep it out. Put on a sad anthem and truly let yourself go you are able to feel better afterwards.

12. Reflect on some of the awesome things youve achieved in your lifetime.

13. Do 50 jumping jacks.

14. Look in a mirror( or your phone camera) and smile at yourself for a few seconds. Breathe in and out, and take a few seconds to look at your favorite facial feature.

15. Forgive yourself. For everything. Every single person on the earth induces mistakes.

16. Adjust your expectations.

17. Buy blooms for someone you love. They will be so happy especially since there was no reason for it besides genuine love.

18. Cook your favorite dessert.

19. Put yourself first.

20. Put your friends and family at a close second.

21. Start a new pastime that youve always liked the idea of, such as playing the guitar or painting.

22. Do something nice for a stranger, such as devoting them your bus pass.

23. Find a mentor who you look up to.

24. Be a mentor to persons who looks up to you.

25. Clean your room/ home/ desk. If youre looking at something that is untidy, it wont improve your mood it will simply build you feel worse. A clean space will assist you in clear your mind.

26. Throw your head back and stroll like youre on the catwalk. Youll feel pretty damn fabulous after half an hour!

27. Cook a meal youve never attained before you will be able to find a recipe online!

28. Praise someone in your family.

29. Call your parents for a catch up.

30. Accept your negative emotions. Everyone feels insecure and jealous sometimes, and these feelings will never go away but they dont have to rule you, and they shouldnt.

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26 One-Sentence Pep Talks To Give Yourself When You’re Stressed, Unhappy, Or Simply Lost

1. Being intimidated by something new is always better than being bored.

2. Failing will always be more admirable than sitting unscathed on the sidelines.

3. I would rather be someone who does something than someone who just tells others what they’re doing wrong.

4 . If the thing I am currently chasing after was easy to achieve, everybody would do it and it wouldn’t be special.

5. This isn’t the first time in my life I’ve been frightened and it won’t be the last, so I might as well learn how to keep life and doing and creating in spite of the fear.

6. The most admired and successful people in the world were not free of insecurity or error or self-doubt; they just maintained showing up and trying , no matter how many times it took, until they got what they wanted.

7. The sadnes from not having done something is always so much worse than the dread or uncertainty that comes with doing something that can be scary.

8. Laying in bed and conceal from the world feelings fantastic, but merely for a very short while.

9. And eventually, staying under the covers and avoiding the real world moves from a pleasant avoidance to an extremely painful and uncomfortable restlessness that can only be soothed with action.

10. What I must remember is that everyone else is too focused on their own lives to fret too much about mine.

11. So why am I wasting so much of my period are concerned about what they suppose?

12. Doing something will always make me feel better than complaining, even if it’s the more uncomfortable or difficult option.

13. I am my own harshest critic, so what I actually need to do is just tell Pessimistic Me to shut the hell up.

14. I’m going to have a lot of blunders in whatever it is that I do before I actually get things right each time; but with each blunder, I’m only that much closer to the final successful turnout.

15. I know myself better than anyone else, I’ve built it this far, and I will continue to take care of myself the same route I always have.

16. Some days will suck, and that’s okay, because it’s the worst days , not the best ones, that inspire people to work harder and to be better.

17. Going after something they wanted, even after they began to feel insufficient and unworthy, is what separates those who succeeded from those who didn’t.

18. As the saying runs, I’ve survived 100% of my worst days, so I only need to keep going.

19. I cannot forget that sometimes a hot cup of tea and a long sleep can do wonders.

20. Breathe: when things get to be too much, I need to truly, seriously focus on breathing.

21. I would never speak to someone I love with brutality or harshness, so why would it ever be okay to speak to myself that way?

22. Being lost or listless is okay, as long as I’m doing everything in my power not to accept it as the norm.

23. There’s always a chance that I will fail, but what kind of person am I if I’m going to let that alone stop me?

24. I’m lucky enough to have the luxury of worrying about self-realization and happiness, since my most basic needs of food, shelter, and safety are secure; that’s something I should never permit myself to take for granted.

25. I will always be more than simply my accomplishments.

26. Fear is what forces me to fly.

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17 Ways Lazy Girls Fake Having Their Shit Together

I’m one of those lazy girls that constantly floats between wearing glasses and sweatpants, to the whole nine yards with murderer heels and a little black dress. But, the majority of cases( all the time ), I’d rather not really try.I have come to find that , none of us really have to try so hard to seem like weknow what we’re doing. It’s easier than it seems.

1 . Throw your hair up in a messy bun . No matter your hair texture, or how badly the ends of your strands seem, you can always set it up and spray with a bit of hairspray to make sure it lasts all day.

2 . Sunglasses . They hide tired eyes, puffy eyes, hangovers, and blemishes. They are truly the best accessory. You don’t even require make-up.

3 . Starbucks . I don’t care if you despise it, but carrying around a Starbucks cupin your hand induces you lookSOdarn fancy.

4 . Wine . Display wine bottles all over your place. Collect the corks to display on your coffee table. Basically, wine will always be the answer. No matter what.

5 . LaCroix Water . I likely will never be able to pronounce it, but when you pull one out of your purse, you will look fancy as f* ck.

6 . Throw on a dress . Candidly, why even bother putting on pants anymore?

7 . Always order the biggest plate of pasta you can . Literally, everyone else with their pathetic salads are going to stare at you with jealousy. #winning. #alwayssayyestopasta.

8 . Save old selfies . Whenever “youre feeling” on’ fleek ‘, take a scene. On the days when you are lying in bed with nothing to do, post one of those old but HOT pictures of yourself. Likes guaranteed.

9 . Google pictures of the gym . Then, post some believable ones on your snapchat. Keep’ murdering’ in bed.

10 . If you must go out, don’t forgotten your’ medicine ‘. Now, when you want to leave early to a collect, depict your friends your’ antibiotics’ that the doctor prescribed for you. You are free to goes, and in the clear.

11 . Fairy lightings . So, you don’t feel like vacuuming or cleaning your apartment up at all? Not a problem. Buy some cute suns, hang them up, and your friends won’t even notice the disaster that is right in from of them.

12 . Adult coloring books . Some may say you’re lazy for not going out on a Friday night, Isay you are relaxing your intellect with some good old fashioned fun( and alcohol ).

13 . Build up your bed . No matter how messy and disgusting your bedroom is, attaining up your bed will always make you look like you are on top of things.

14 . Always have gum on hand . Sometimes, you forget to brush your teeth while you were in a rush to get work. What does the job? Gum. Sometimes, you have a really bad hangover and brushing your teeth isn’t cutting it. What does the job? Gum.

15 . Dry shampoo . We all don’t have time to wash our hair every single day. Meet dry shampoo: your new best friend. It get rid of excess oil and constructs it look like you actually tried( for once ).

16 . Fake plants . I don’t know what it is about plants, but they are really hard to take care of( or it’s just me ). Solution? Fake flowers, fake hydrangeas, and fakesucculents will construct you seem like the queen of having your shit together.

17 . When all else fails, stop devoting a crap . Pay no intellect to the persons who to continue efforts to put you down. Espouse your laziness. Embrace who you are. You’re freaking awesome.

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Sometimes The People We Fall Hardest For Are The People Who Let Us Down The Hardest

As much as it hurts, and how much it kills you, sometimes the people we love we most, are the ones that aren’t good for us. No matter how much you care for them, and how much you want to keep them in your life, sometimes the people you love most are the ones who will hurt you the most.

It’s hard for us to picture the person we love most in this world every trying to hurt us, but the harder we love, the bigger the possibility of them hurting us gets. It’s hard for us to imagine them saying goodbye, or them leaving without another word. It’s hard to picture the moment when they will find someone better, someone prettier, someone more likable.

“It won’t happen to us”, we say. “Our relationship is different than all the others”, we try to convince ourselves. “He wouldn’t do that to me”, we whisperto ourselves in the darkness.

But sometimes, no matter how big the love is, and how confident the bond is between you two, they will end up hurting you. No matter what you do.

We can’t escape it. We can’t foresee it. We can’t ever predict it. Sometimes, it just happens. Without a warning. And without a chance of explanation. They call you on the phone telling you it’s over. They pack up their bags and leave overnight. They write a note on your bedside table saying sorry. They tell you they want to see other place. They tell you they have changed their minds.

And it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s not your fault for loving so hard. It’s not their fault for having a change of heart. It’s not your fault for entering into the relationship. It’s not their fault for finding someone else who they get along better with.

It’s just life. It’s how things happen. And sometimes, the worst things happens. The boy you thought was your forever is gone. The boy you loved the most, wrecked you. And they didn’t even give you a chance to show them all you had to offer them.

They never ever gave you a chance.

So, what do you say to them? What do you do? You tell those people who left you, that it’s their loss. That you feel sorry for them for never giving you the benefit of the doubt. That they just lost the best thing they could’ve had.

And then tell them thank you.

Because now, you finally realize that they weren’t the best person for you.

The best person for you wouldn’t ever leave. The best person for you wouldn’t ever dare to sneak out without another word. The best person for you would never utter the words, “goodbye”. The best person for you would be right there next to you, sleeping soundly, dreaming of you. The best person for you would stay. They will always stay.

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21 Life Lessons Learned From Some Of The World’s Greatest Sports Coaches

For people who dont play or like sports, athletics metaphors are frustrating, obnoxious or cliche. Of course, they think this at their loss. Even the ancient philosophers from Seneca to Epictetus to Socrates loved to reference sports. Wrestling, gymnastics, boxing, runningyou cant cracking an ancient text and not find them connecting doctrine to metaphors about sparring, about competing in the Olympics, and training and winning and losing.

They do this because athletics then, as now, were a part of life. Also because they exemplify the best and the worst of lifeour competitive advises, teamwork, grace under pressure, realise our potential, the agony of defeat. Its why I love books written by great coachesthey have so much to teach us , not only about the game but about life itself.

What follows are some of my favorite principles from some of the greatest coaches of all timefrom Wooden to Belichick, from Carroll to Phil Jackson. Whether you ever pick up a football or grappling or play a competitive sport of any kind, these lessons will improve their own lives. Theyll make you better at business, at stressful situations, at tackling tough problems and at detecting motivation.

Hope you like them.

[*] Do the Grunt Work In Education of a Coach you can see how Bill Belichick, the now four-time Super Bowl-winning coach of the New England Patriots, made his way up the ranks of the NFL by loving and mastering how to do the one thing that coaches hated at the time: analyzing film. Doing so he helped attain his superiors look goodan approach I call The Canvas Strategyand in the process devoted himself increased understanding of video games that today cannot be matched. Do the grunt work and learn from Belichick.

[*] Have a Philosophy Seahawks coach-and-four Pete Carroll is known for his Win Forever philosophythe winning mindset he aims to instill in his staff and players. Similarly, coach Wooden has his own Pyramid of Success.( In fact, Pete Carroll was inspired by Wooden to make his own philosophy of winning .) These doctrines and frameworks are critical as they codify the principles and rules by which a squad will make decisions and operate on a day-to-day basis. If you dont have a doctrine, how do you expect to know what to do in tough situations? Or when the situation is confusing or complicated? Being reactive is never a position of strength.

[*] Focus On Your Inner Scorecard Famous basketball coach-and-four John Wooden defined success in the following way: Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing you made their attempts to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming. Notice he didnt say anything about the score of video games. Doing your best is what matters. Focus on that. External rewards are just extra. And Warren Buffett has said the same thing, making a distinction between the inner scorecard and the external one. Your potential, the absolute best youre capable ofthats the metric to measure yourself against.

[*] Set High Standards& Observe Them Football coach Bill Walsh took the 49 ers from the worst team in the league to Super Bowl champs in merely three years. How? He generated a culture of excellence and instilled what he called his Criterion of Performance. That is: How to practise. How to dress. How to hold the ball. Where to be on a play down to the very inch. Which skills mattered for each position. He knew that by upholding these standards, the score would take care of itself.

[*] Do Your Job Speaking of Bill Belichick, consistently remind yourself of his simple mantra: Do your job .

[*] Inoculate Against The Disease of Me Pat Riley, one of the greatest NBA coaches, has observed that once teams start winning consistently, they enter a stage called the Disease of Methe moment when chests swell and egos emerge. To devote a basketball instance, its Shaq and Kobe, unable to play together. Its Michael Jordan punching his teammates. Once weve made it, our propensity is to switch to a mindset of get whats mine. Lets make one thing clear: we never earn the right to be greedy or to pursue our own interest at the expense of everyone else.

[*] Find Your Plus, Minus and Equal The MMA trainer Frank Shamrock runs fighters through a system called +, -, =. Everyone needs to work with someone better than them, equal to them and someone who they can teach. Who are yours?

[*] Ignore The End Result, Focus on the Progress Football coach-and-four Nick Saban is known for teaching his players The Process. And the process is simple. It is about doing the right things, right now. We neednt scramble like were so often inclined to do when some difficult task sits in front of us. The process is about not are concerned about what might happen afterwards, or research results, or the whole picture. It is simply this: focusing on the task at hand, forgetting everything else. He is basically telling his players: Dont think about winning the SEC Championship. Dont think about the national championship. Think about what you needed to do in this drill, on this play, in this moment.

[*] Prepare For the Chaos This is how coach-and-four Phil Jacksons describes one of his most effective tactics when he prepares his players: Once I had the Bulls practice in silence; on another occasion I made them scrimmage with the lights out. Not because I want to make their lives miserable but because I want to prepare them for the inevitable chaos that occurs the minute they step onto a basketball court. Chaos, both in athletics and in life, is inevitable. Are you prepared? How can you practice in advance so it doesnt catch you off your guard?

[*] Take Small Steps Pat Riley: Excellence is the gradual outcome of always striving to do better. Notice that he says gradual. Its about the small steps you can take each and every day to make a tiny bit of improvement. Your only point of comparison should be yourself the day before.

[*] Focus on the Journey Phil Jackson says that … in the early stages of every season I always encouraged players to focus on the journey rather than the goal. What matters most is playing video games the right way and having the fortitude to grow, as human beings as well as basketball players. When you do that, the ring takes care of itself. We cant let ourselves live in a conditional future when things somehow will be okay. The present is all we have.

[*] Achieve Victory With Focus& Determination In any endeavourin athletics or in a creative fieldthe elite run comes from deep work. And deep work is that place of intense concentration and cognitive focus where real progress is made. It is why Pat Riley says that There can only be one state of mind as you approach any profound exam; total concentration, a spirit of togetherness, and strength. That state of mind involves presence and focus. Nothing else would cut it.

[*] Set Rules for Yourself Coach Bill Walsh says that like water, many decent someones will seek lower ground if left to their own tendencies. What we need to block these tendencies is regulations. Little ones that we can follow to stimulate us better. This is why relying on rules, constraints and systems is important.

[*] Prepare for Failure and Adversity Bill Walsh has said that almost always, your road to victory goes through a place called failure. There is no question, adversity is part of any journey. It is the ultimate test of character. As Pat Riley put it: You have no choices about how you lose, but you do have a selection about how you come back and prepare to win again.

[*] Stay Humble Keep in intellect coach Woodens simple advice: Talent is God-given. Be humble. Notoriety is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. Of those, conceit is the most dangerous. Learning, progress and improvement all stop when you think you have figured it all out. This is your ego indulging in a narrative that is not true. Humility is the antidote.

[*] Play for the Name on the Front You’re looking for players whose name on the front of the sweater is more important than the one on the back. I look for these players to play hard, to play smart, and to represent their country. This is how the hockey coach Herb Brooks put it. Or if you prefer soccer coach-and-four Tony Adamss version:” Play for the name on the front of the shirt and theyll remember the name on the back .”

[*] Dont Personalize the Outcome Bill Walsh describes the importance of not personalizing the outcome of our run as it can become crippling and paralyzing: … any kind of loss becomes very disturbing because youve attached your self-image to the results of the rivalry. Winning can become insidious for the same reason, that is, you let the victory to begin determining your self-worth, how you feel about yourself. Again, you cant let externals decide your self-worth. It is why Colin Powell advises to avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

[*] Master the Details Coach Vince Lombardi allegedly began seasons by grabbing a ball, showing it to his players and saying, Gentlemen, this is a football. Coach Wooden is known for showing his players how to put on their socks. He goes into the details of it, even telling them to check around the toe and heel for any wrinkles. Why would he do that? Grown humen surely know how to put one across socks. His reply: You ensure, if there are wrinkles in your socks or your shoes aren’t tied properly, you will develop blisters. With blisters, you’ll miss practise. If you miss practise, you don’t play. And if you don’t play, we cannot win. Mastering the details and all the fundamental elements is critical.

[*] You Are a Shareholder Bill Belichick in his 2013 keynote: What Ive always told our team, and what I thoroughly believe in, is that every member of our team players, coach-and-fours, support staff and so forth is a shareholder. They have a share in the team. Are they all exactly equal? Of course not, but theyre all stockholders. Again, as Bill puts it, simply do your job. Understand your role in the team, excel at it and as he says, put the team first.

[*] Dont Be Passionate A young basketball player named Lewis Alcindor Jr ., who won three national championships with John Wooden at UCLA, used one word to describe the style of his famous coach: dispassionate. As in not passionate. Wooden wasnt about rah-rah speeches or inspiration. He assured those extra emotions as a burden. Instead, his doctrine was about being in control and doing your job and never being passions slave. The player who learned that lesson from Wooden would afterwards change his name to one you remember better: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

[*] Do Your Job When Saints coach Sean Payton had to spend a year away from the Saints after the Bountygate scandal, he set a sign up in the training facility. It was a giant picture of his face and it had Bill Belichicks line underneath: Do Your Job.

**

And eventually, I couldnt but objective this piece with a line from the greatest( fictional) coach-and-fourof all time: Clear eyes. Full hearts. Cant lose.

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The Truth About Why I Haven’t Determined For A’ Real’ Job Yet

I roll out of bed ataround 4:30 am even after a 1:00 am clock out at work a short 3.5 hours prior. My phone lies on my nightstand lighted up with Nordstrom Rackemails, Tinder messages, and an option to hit Sleep.

Next step is usually a trip-up to the bathroom to rinse the make up residue from my eyes I failed to getoff properly the night before. I head to the kitchen next, snap the lid on the Keurig for coffee and crack two eggs for my omelette.

My green Herschel backpack is stuffed to the top with food, clothes, and other random items Ill need for the next several hours .

I pull my plaid pajama shorts off and change into a pair of multi-color gym shorts and a Lululemon tank. The walking to the gym is a short 8 minutes where I begin my first chore of the day.

My status at 9am is as follows 😛 TAGEND Job# 1 Check . Workout Check . Dark circles beneath my eyes: Check. Check. Check .

After a rain, I hop onto the metro to Court House station in Arlington, VA where my freelance marketing gig is. Outside the office is a giant mural, overloaded with every color in the spectrum. Step into the office and youll find boxes, several desks, and a keg of Yuengling light.

Hunter *, what are Saturdays for? THE BOYS! He replies.

this is how my Tuesdays usually go.

My work uniform changes from gym clothes, to jeans paired with a cute shirt and then a transitionto a tight black tank usually wornwith dark-wash shorts and Converse-like nonslip shoes. A Flying Dog bottle opener usually hangs out of my back pocket as I head to my third job of the day.

Work views are brew taps and a dusty Absolut Oak bottle that is never utilized. Networking is chatting up bar guests with the occasional resume/ business card exchange .# Goals areum, I dont really know.

A 23 year old single bartender living in the nations capital: a demographic I presently fall into which I have come to find out is few and far between. Im not are participating in grad school, I didnt move here to be with a significant other, I dont have a defined career path. My day-to-day activities dont involve long commutes on the Metro, responding to emails in record-setting hours, or lunch breaks with co-workers at thefood truck outside of the office

My schedule is long and not the most glorious, but I dont allow myself to complain. Ok, perhaps the ocassionalIm tired AF stop talking to me, remark, but its a life I opted for myself.

I recently was offered a full hour 9-5 gig. Benefits, an entry level salary, a smart option. One that would have certainly removed me from the uncommon demographic I have stumbled upon. One that would turn my 16 hour days into 9, one that would give my loved ones a peace of mind that Im more financially and mentally stable.

I wanted to respond to the email with eagerness, but as my fingers began to type the response, I hit backspace.

Thank you so much for this opportunity. I would love to acc-

Delete.

I politely declined the offer.

Im trying really hard not to sound like the cliche millennial with a~ go with the flow~ position about my professional life because the truth is, I am very much looking forward to the day that I can afford to take weekends off. I cant wait to tell my mommy that I landed a job and be genuinely aroused about it. I cant wait to look back and say to myself 😛 TAGEND

But, I want to be excited about it. Maybe the next job I land wont be exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, but why should I have to settle for something so farfetched from where I want to be to feel like I belong?

Its hard for some people to understand a lot of the choices I construct, and its even tougher to explain them. But, Ive found that its best not explain them at all.

Just because I dont know exactly where this path will take me, at least I know its going to take me somewhere.

People call me crazy for running 3 jobs. To be honest, I could probably get by with only bartending full period if I wanted to. However, Id rather be living a life that encompasses all of my interestswhile getting paid for it. And if that entails running my ass of day in and day out, thats ok.

The stereotypical DC question to ask. Sometimes people are just genuinely interested, but other days its to compare themselves.Its a question I get all of the time, usuallyas Im pouring a beer for them as they are in the midst of complaining about how miserable their task is. Its often an assumption that bartending is just for extra cash, and for a lot of people it is. But for me, its not. At least for now.

I dont go into detail about my long days, because I know they dont genuinely want to hear it. I used to feel like I had to explain myself and my situation often replying with 😛 TAGEND

Well Im just trying to figure out what I want to do so I run a few chores find what will fit best for me.

Who wants to get up at 4:30 am and finish the working day at 1am? Society would classify us as: crazy, unhappy, and overworked.

Crazy? Perhaps. Overworked? At hours, yeah. Unhappy? Who says?

It would be taboo for me to say, This life I have chosen for myself induces me genuinely happy. Even if its the truth.

I moved to a new cityto for one reason: to create a new life. One that may be messy, exhausting, and challenging at times, but I find happinessin the fact that I construct it on my own.I may have to excavation beneath the several thousand dollars of rent pays, Uber charges, and shitty boys to find it, but its still there.

I shouldnt have to explain why this life makes me happy, and neither should you.

Be good people and make healthy options. Know your worth, but know youll forgotten your worth at times too, and thats OK. Learn from it. Mothers, peers, and privileged strangers will tell you a steady careeris the key to happiness, which is fine, but dont let them define your the expected accomplishments and contentment if youre not in the same state of mind. Take each opportunity presented to you and run with it. Whether that opportunity involves asking customers how theyd like their burger cooked or traveling the world with Nat Geo( someday ), it doesnt matter. Every task, every shitty guy, every individual experience attains you more than who you were yesterday. And thats awesome.

My Tuesdays may be different from your Tuesdays, but its merely a Tuesday. And I like Tuesdays. I hope you do too .

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6 Things You Should Start Practicing If You Want To Grow As A Person

1. Set realistic goals . You can always plan, but mind you! Setting a objective is actually putting a deadline to that sketch you have in mind. You need to program your brain into thinking that your aspirations are real, and that they can come true. Set yourself to believing that your goals are possible, and start living in a few moments bounded to attaining your goals.

2. Invest in trusting people and although this is a world full of people who take advantage, see to it that you maintain a good human relation to everyone you satisfy. Know your purpose, for life is about networking; It is about expanding your circle and filling the gap of every thread that comes along the way. Trusting people is like setting up their home communities, a place you can run to. It may sound hard to easily trust, but remember that you must surround yourself with people who inspire you. Trust those people you want to be surrounded with and grow with them.

3. Hang out with people you look up to . For those people have certainly achieved something that you havent. Otherwise, just sleep at home and do nothing. All Im trying to say is that, if you want to be ahead ofeveryone, hang out with people who are already ahead of you. Only then will you realize that youre behind, and with that you will have the virtue to actually catch up with them. Stop wasting your time chatting with people who are packed with negativity and bitterness in this life, start mingling with people who have more positive and vibrant outlook.

4. Always think highly of yourself for success is about yourself in the market. The world is an ever evolving industry; so make sure that you market yourself intelligently. Believing highly of yourself can help you boost your confidence, it will send positive energy to your brain and it will light up a whole new dimension for your perspectives. You need to believe that you are a product worth buying for before anyone ever believes you. You have to know your own potential before you can make anyone to appreciate you. It always starts within you, hence, used to go and be proud of yourself.

5. Be frugal no matter what and I bet this is an era of being practical , none the less. Always select something you need over your wants. Spending too much can ruin your finances eternally, and you do not want that to happen. Why not start saving and expending now, and spend later when your investments are already making money for you. Saving is one thing, and expending is another. Invest your time learning these two things, and the key is to be thrifty. You need to be in control with your spending and wise with which you put your money in to. Remember, only those who know the value of money can actually appreciate being wealthy and successful. You have to know that the value of every penny accounts for your hard work; and so, chose to expend it wisely on things that will benefit you in the long run.

6. Be an inspiration assistance someone grow, dont step on the weak, but rather help them up. Kindness is an essential ingredient, and it is manifested in everything you may want to achieve if you truly want to succeed. Choose to do things differently, in a way that you realize that fund is not the root of all evil. Know that becoming an inspiration is your route of paying forward. Love what you do and do what you love, always be cheerful for happiness is the only thing that genuinely depicts success.

There are a few things that wise people do differently, for these people know that in order to be outstanding, they need to do something that common people never do. Growing means being mindful, it entails jumping into something that can bring out the best in you. Someone who wants to grow understands that leaving the convenience zone is the only way out.

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Choose Someone Who Loves You Without Anxiety

We all understandably get scared of rejection, of showdown and of getting hurt. So, sometimes, when we take our old bruised and beaten down hearts and give them to someone else, we get frightened. We get anxious. We get the urge to sprint the other direction .

But you shouldn’t choose the one who wants to run. You shouldn’t choose the one who sprints away from you. Never, ever opt the one who hesitates.

And never, ever choose the one who seems the other route when you pour your heart out to them.

Choose someone who gazes right at your flaws and doesn’t cringe. Choose someone who finds the worst parts of you and doesn’t cover his eyes. Choose someone who witnesses you spew venom, and doesn’t conceal in anxiety . Choose someone who will say ” I love you” confidently and easily. With no tremble in their voice. And no shakiness on their lips. Choose the person that listens to you when you’re hurting, and will hold you through it instead of scoffing at you. Choose members of the public who looks up at you instead of appearing down. Choose members of the public who lets you glisten on your own, and lets you walk at your own pace .

You deserve someone who won’t run at the first sign of trouble.

You deserve someone who won’t leave when you need them the most. True love isn’t supposed to fled the scene of such crimes. True love stays, through thick and through thin. True love is stronger than the urge to say goodbye. True love should never apologize for its strength. And it should never apologize for glistening so brightly .

The right person for you should love without a whisper of hesitation.

They will love you fiercely, without any doubt that you are the best person that they have ever met. They will kiss you aloud, and shower you with their confidence in you. They will hug you proudly, the kind of hug that doesn’t have a question mark in it . They will hold you, embracing you in their safety net. They won’t let any fire violate their grip on you.

Choose someone who loves you without dread. Who screams instead of whispers. Who leaps instead of strolls. And who runs towards you, instead of away from you.

Choose someone who always has a hand out for you to grab onto. Choose someone who never looks at you with a frown, but looks at you with a glimmer in their eyes. Choose the one who says” I love you” in everything that they do. Choose the one who loves you with every atom in their body and who will say ” I love you” only by a touch. Choose someone who loves you and doesn’t ever leave .

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