The Honest Truth About Finding Your Forever Person Too Early

Finding your forever person is hard enough, but finding them five or ten years too early is heartbreaking to say the least.

Finding your forever person is like finding your soulmate. Seemingly impossible, but when you find it, you grab onto it with all the strength that you have. And when you find that kind of love, you never ever want to let go of it. But sometimes, it’s just the wrong timing. And sometimes, that bond breaks and bends and there is nothing you can do about it. It just happens.

When you find your forever person too early, the thoughts of ‘forever’ and ‘ever after’ can go out the window. So often, we find our fairytale when we aren’t even grown yet. We find our happily ever after in high school or college, and we watch that slowly fade into black as time moves on. We find our ‘person’ at an age where we don’t even know who we are yet.

And how can we grow old with someone when we are barely old enough to know ourselves?

I found him when I was 17. He was ‘it’. The ‘one’. The boy of my dreams, the man of my destiny. But at 17, I didn’t know who I wanted to be. He didn’t know who he wanted to be. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life, and neither did he. We were just two people, floating through life aimlessly, not knowing what the future had in store.

Three years passed, and I still thought he was the one. No one could have told me otherwise. No one could have convinced me that I was too young, or too naive for it to last. I it was going to last. I knew it in every cell in my soul and every bone in my body. It was a fact written on myexistence.

But at 21, when our college careers were taking flight and when plane rides and time change took it’s toll, we were through. It happened so slowly, that neither of us knew it was coming.

And all of a sudden, just in a matter of minutes, my forever was gone. My one and only, lost. My sanctuary and home for the last 3 years was now – empty.

I had my big love too early. It happened too quickly and ended too slowly. We were moving in fast motion right up until the end. My world went from a vivid redto grey and black clouds that blurred my vision.

When you find your forever person too early, there will be a permanent crack on your heart. When you find your forever person too early, a part of you will break and you will never get that piece back. When you find your forever person too early, it will take years for your heart to come back toits former self.

When you find your forever person too early, you will never be the same.

It’s a bittersweet symphony. Finding great love. Falling in love. Giving your heart to someone. Seeing a future with them, and having kids to call your own. You see a picture of how your life could be. And you see it with them.

But when it ends too soon, it’s hard to get back up again. It’s hard to pick up all of your shattered pieces that have been planted on the ground beneath you. When it ends too soon, it’s hard to get back to the person who you used to be, without them.

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12 Signs You’re Closer To Find The Love You Deserve

1. You know your path . You know who you are and where youre heading or at least you have an idea or a vision of where your life is taking you. Your future doesnt scare you and your life is becoming more stable and consistent. 2. You learned to love yourself . Its the number one regulation to receiving a healthy relationship. The more you love yourself the more you will attract people who love you too. You will also be able to make better decisions and find a person who has treats you the route you treat yourself. 3. Youre not looking for a hero, youre go looking for a partner . Youre not looking for someone to fix you or save you or ease your loneliness. Youre looking for someone to accept you and understand you and you are willing to do the same. 4. You are emotionally available . Youve mended your broken heart, you got over your ex, you moved on from your toxic relationship and you stopped making the ones you like pay for someone elses mistakes. You know that every experience is different and you are open to loving person again. 5. Youre not afraid of being vulnerable . Youre not scared of commitment or scared of letting person in and sharing your life with them. Youre not scared of letting person know how much they mean to you or how much you like them. Youre not afraid of being emotional or soft. 6. Your friends say to you youre ready . Your friends are say to you that youve let go of all the barriers that were blocking you from letting love in and that you have changed for the better. They know you better than anyone and you can trust their decision that you are ready to the love you deserve. 7. You learned from your mistakes . Youve been fooled before but now you know what to look out for and how to spot the warning signs before you get attached. Your bad relationships were an example of what tostay away from and who you should avoid. 8. You still follow your heart but you dont lose your mind in the process . You is felt that love wont always be easy, you know there will be fights and tough situations you have to deal with, you know that there will be difficult conversations to have and you know that you cant leave person at the first sign of trouble. You are more patient and more forgiving. 9. You pick people your mothers would approve of . Your crushes are all people your mom wouldlove and your father would appreciate. This is a great sign that youre choosing the right ones the ones that are serious about you. 10. You understand your flaws . You know your flaws and you know what you need to change, you know that you are not perfect and you dont project that on the person you like. You are more honest about your flaws than you used to be. You dont try to hide them or lie about them. 11. You dont promise something you cant give . You dont mislead people or give them false hope, you dont force yourself to be with person you dont want to be with and you stopped You stopped going on dates simply to please your friends or please society; you will only be with person you want to be with. 12. You can spot the distinction between love and infatuation . You know how to tell if you like a person or if youre only infatuated withthem and you stopped confounding both of them with each other. You now fall in love with who someone really is , not theperson you want them to be.

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10 Simple Relationship Rules That Will( Probably) Keep You From Wanting To Kill Each Other

1. Make sure you understandyour partner’s needsspecifically, how theyre different from your own.

True love is rooted inauthenticitymutual respect and appreciation for each other’s weirdness, so to speak. Chancesare, you have a lot in common with your significant other. But youalso likely havesometraits, habits, hobbies, dreamings, and needs thatdiverge from theirs. Thinklong and hard about what constructs you happy, inside and outside of yourrelationship, day-to-day and in the” bigger scene .” Thencommunicate your needs as you perceive them tothe person you plan on building a life with, and don’t be afraidto let them know if anything changes along the way. The more you share, the very best equipped your partner willbe to love and supporting you along the way.

2. Anticipate how you can help your partner meet their individual needs.

Maintainingrelationshipharmony requires attentiveness and constant compromise. You have to be mindful of yourpartnerat all times, and proactively help them to feel fulfilled bysacrificing your own needssometimes. For instance, if youre dating someone whos happiest reading a book athome, offer to stay in and sit alongsideyour partneras they slake their thirst for quiet period, even ifall you want to do is party your face off. In exchange, expect your significant other to rally and go out with you on occasion when it’s the last thing they want to do just so you can get your fixing of socializing. Your requires will always be competing on some level, and thats okay as long as youre both committed to doing your proportion to maintain some kind of balance together.

3. Showyourpartnerthe kind of love they’re most receptive to.

Youand your partner might respond to entirely different express of love. According to Dr. Gary Chapmans bestselling volume, The 5 Love Languages, there are a few main ways to give and receive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift dedicating, and quality hour . Some of us answer much more to certainformsof affection than others. And whileit’sour propensity to assume that the best way to demonstrate love is in the way that we like to receive it, that isn’t so. Forinstance, a woman who relies on physical touch to feeling loved might shower her partner, who, unbeknownst to her, favors words of affirmation, with human contact when all the man secretly wants is to hear youre such an amazingguys !!! Though well intentioned, because thesnuggly woman isnt speaking her significant others native love tongue, a lot of tenderness is lost in translation.Figure out which love language you and your partner both speak by taking thissimple quizso you canstart communicating just how much you love each othermore effectively.

4. Have sex.

Hot tip: Peoplelike sex because it feelings good. Sensual pleasureis a gift you get togive your significant other again and again and again. Naked playtime is also a great way to buildand buildintimacy. Dont wait around until youre both in the mood to do it. You have to make loveregularly if you want to stay love long-term . That’s a fact. Howoften does anyone regret having sex with thepersonthey love anyway?

5. Don’tweaponize your vast knowledge of each other.

Fighting sucks, especially when you find yourself pitted against the person or persons you lovethe person who knows you inside and out, who has long ago pinpointed your every strength and vulnerability and is thus armed with more power to hurt you than anyone else. When we opposed, we tend to become the meanest, angriest, most defensive, least attractive versions of ourselves . We resort to nastiness, but some things are better left unsaid. When you wieldyour intimate knowledge of someoneto causethempainwhen youattack their Achilles heel in the way only canyou hazard damagingyour relationship permanently. Your partner might very well forget you were fighting that night, but they won’tforget how you constructed them feel . Nohuman bond is beyond repair, but some meanders take far longer to heal than others. So why go there?

6. Seek to understand your significant other seeking to be understood.

In the midst of a conflict, we all want the same thing: To be understood . We want so badly for the person or persons we love to see things fromourperspective, andwhen their opinion on anygiven issue simply won’t alignwith ours, it’sincredibly upsetting. We argueto validate route of seeingthe world . But ifyou can finditin your heartto pause, take a deep breath, and tryyourbest to understand where yoursignificant otheris coming from BEFORE attemptingto substantiate your position, youwill berewarded with context. Forcing yourself to at least try to seethings the way your partner does is a calming exercise that will stifle your desire to attack. When you seek to understand before seeking to be understood, you effectively temper your animalistic instincts, allowing your more evolved self to glisten through.

7. Don’t interrupt.

Another handy rule for butting heads in the most civilized manner possible is to take turnsspeaking( or screaming ). Fightings escalate much faster when two people endlessly interrupt each other or attempt to talk over one another. When you forceyourself to listen to your partners tedious ranting before launching into your own, they have no excusenotto sit back and listen to yourself for a bit. Interrupting promotes frustration and leads to massive communication failings . Its a garbage of everyones time, essentially. So do yourself a favor and pledge to wait your turn to lash out. If youre uncertain whether or not your partners done talking, asking questions outright: Is your thought complete?

8. Accept that its okay to walk away sometimes.

Lets face it, youre not going to have it in you togetzen in the hot of an intense battle. When two people cant reach common ground, a lot of periods the worst thing to do is keep talking( or, instead, barking ). Maybe you both crave close, and youre too stubborn to concede your respective phases. Maybe youre equally desperate to havethe last word. Maybe you’re both depleted. Suck it up, and get some space. You can always revisit that oh-so-importantargument afterwards. Its not going anywhere. In the meantime, theres no shame in walking away toregroup, or falling asleep. Everytimeoutis an opportunity for two people tofind their inner peaceagain.

9. Realize that you won’t everagree on.

You are not your partner. No matter how compatible you are, you will not agree on everything . But thats not a reason to freak out. If anything, its cause for gala. Youre not a couple of lemmings! Yay! Sometime, it’s necessarytoset your differences aside altogether and move on, knowing full well that you havent succeeded in persuading your partner that theyre flat out incorrect. Shucks! Thats life. Its not your faulting if your significant other just doesn’t sometimes.

10. Be nice.

Meanpeople suck . That’s why no one wants to be around them, let alone date them. So bethe opposite of mean. Thisis by far the best relationship advice anyone can offer. Things are far more likely to go smoothly if you work hard on being kind . It might take practise, but its worth it.

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How To Get Your Ex Back By Remaining Close To Their Friend And Family

The 3 week cut off period during which you shouldn’t speak to your ex post breakup isn’t just about non-communication. Its also about organizing an action plan and putting it into operation.

And none more important than preserving a useful relationship with both your ex’s family and friends. I say useful, because these two parts of your exs world can be extremely powerful in influencing your ex back into your arms.

Ok, what should I be doing?

Lets take each one of these in turn 😛 TAGEND Her Family : If you have been on good terms with her family, say her mom or her friend, ring them up and say goodbye. You’ll want to come across as caring and genuine as is practicable during this telephone call. The reason you ring them is not really for a goodbye as such but to leave them with the most positive impression possible of you.

If you do this, they’ll be on your side when they talk about this phone call to her and generally will give your ex the impression she’s losing a great guy. If they say,” I hope we’ll still be friends”, agree to this offer so you can stay in their lives. Try not to talk to them about the break up, as you don’t want to set them in the awkward situation of taking sides. They’ll take sides of their own accord however by being genuine now, you will help them over to your side.

Her Friends : You can use her friends to create a disarray strategy on your ex. Neither your ex nor her friends will be “in” on this tactic, merely you. You’ll need 2 of her close friends, lets call them Friend A and Friend B. When you gratify Friend A tell her you’ve got lots of exciting things going on right now that its helping you get over your ex . Say that you still miss your girlfriend but you’ve changed a lot since the break up and look forward to the future.A few days later when you gratify Friend B, recur the above but omit all references to your ex. From this, when they talk about their meetings with you to your ex, they’ll give her conflicting reports on whether you still miss her or not. Making confusion in your ex right now is will be a key aid in get her back.

How to get my ex back with this info

The above instances should be used in trying to get an ex back but they are only pointers and not the complete picture. Far more run needs to be done to ensure she falls in love with you.

I go through the full set of steps in the book” THE LOVEMAP CODE: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Employing Psychology” By maintaining on good terms with her family and friends, it will make it more difficult for her to move on without you.

Family and friends form a major part of anyone’s life. Consequently, people tend to regard their thoughts and sentiments in high regard. This is something that relates to their opinion of whether you both made a good couple or not. So having a positive foothold in their intellects attains it that bit easier to get your ex back

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Being On Your Own Is Better Than Being Underappreciated( So Stop Settling)

Youlove being alone. Not something you hear too often from a 20 -something’s mouth, but it’s the truth.

You enjoy it, you refer to yourself as an extroverted introvert because truthfullyyou’re mostly at peace whenyou’re in the company of yourself, but can be a social butterfly when you need to be.

When it comes to dating, you will only date person if yousee a future there.You arenot in the business of wasting yourtime on somethingyou know isn’t right for you.

Life is too short, there are too many thingsyou want to accomplish, too many placesyouwant to visit. Truthfully, ifyou enjoy being withsomeone morethan beinginyour own little world, that’s a clear indication that you are in something natural and right.

If anything, you’ve learned that you should never determine. Don’t do it. Don’t settlewith a guy who treats you like you’re an option, one of many other options to select from. Don’t settle with a guy who can’t remember the little, but important things that stimulate you who you are.

Don’t settle with a guy who you aren’t excitedto see, who you’re just going through the motions with.Don’t settle with a guy who doesn’t make an effort to see what makes your eyes light up, what you’re passionate about, and what builds you laugh. If you aren’t chuckling together, what’s the point ?

I promise you, being on your own for a while is a greater alternative to feeling under appreciated in a relationship that isn’t attaining you smile before you go to sleep at night. EVEN when all of your friends are getting engaged, marriage and having children, try and remember that your time will come.

Just becauseit’s not happening for you right at this moment, doesn’t mean it never will.

Like everything, realizing thisis easier said than done, I understand. There is likely to be periods when you merely want to curl up and listen to the saddest Taylor Swift anthems and tell yourself you won’t ever find your other half.

But after all the horrendous dates and cringe-worthy set up, you’ll eventually see that they were simply attaining you stronger. Teaching you more and more about yourself, bringing out sides of you that you didn’t even realize were there.

It’s easy to feel discouraged when your world is feeling small and you feel like no one will ever connect with you or understand you. But, rest assured many others feel thesame way you do.

No one is ever genuinely alone in their thoughts.The world is a hugeplace and there is magic there for those who are willing to look.

So go see it! Go on escapades with your best girlfriends, visit the places you’ve wanted to go since you were little, try new foods, and spend hours in bookstores, reading books you wouldn’t usually pick out yourself. In doing what you love, in chasing your passions- you’ll find that love has a funny way of creeping up on you while you’re busy living their own lives .

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Everything You Require To Know About Selecting The Right Guy

The following is excerpted from the book Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in their own homes.~ Bill Maher

All the relationship advice in the world wont make any difference if youre choosing the incorrect guy. This is the step that often gets missed or overlooked. Women hammer away, trying to pound the proverbial square peg into a round hole, then wonder what theyre doing wrong, why they cant seem to make it fit, why they cant get the love they want. You cant turn a losing stock into a winning stock. You cant force someone to change and to want what you want. You cant convince someone to feel a certain route about you.

I expended route too long chasing after guys who wouldnt or couldnt give me what I wanted, and then I wondered what was wrong with me when it didnt get me lasting love! The problem was simple: I was choosing the incorrect humen. It sounds straightforward enough, but its a very tricky thing. We fall for these guys because it feels so right, because were swept up in the passion, the chemistry, and the intoxicating aura of unavailability; we get sucked into the space that exists when someone is just beyond our reach and it induces us yearn for him. We convince ourselves that this is it, that hes the one and we just need to make him see it.

This is where the problems develop. This is where all the questions and tears and doubt and uncertainties and fears start to ingest you. You mistake these feelings for true love because maybe youve never felt this route before, and you think it must be because this guy is different and this relationship is meant to last.

This is just a glimpse into the confusion that ensues when you choose the incorrect guy. If youre hung up on a human who cant perpetrate or wont perpetrate or who is mean to you or who is just a mean person in general, a guy with luggage, a guy with serious issues, a guy who you think would be perfect if merely he changed such and such, then youre defining yourself up to lose before you even begin, and you are blocking yourself from ever discovering the love you want.

Where Healthy Relationships Begin

Before we talk about what to look for in a guy, its important to look at how relationships begin. The start of a relationship can oftentimes color our lenses and sometimes result us down a bad track and into a toxic relationship.

Here’s a situation that may sound familiar to you( it was certainly a recurring theme for me in my single life !) You meet person, something clicks, and suddenly it feels like a force outside of you has taken over.

After this encounter you can’tfor the life of youget this guy out of your head. You try to think about other things but nothing works. You ruminate over every detail of your interaction with himwhat he said, what you said, what his body language said. You think about the things you wish you had said.

You check your phone constantly to see if he called or texted. If he does, your belly drops-off, your heart races, you want to leap off your seat and call for exhilaration. And then of course you need to figure out the exact right thing to tell back to him, the perfect quip to prove him that you’re perfect for each other.

The high continues as you venture into a relationship, and it becomes even more intense. You never quite know where you stand with him. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadowing. This emotional rollercoaster is as thrilling because this is exhaust. You’re hooked. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving. It’s a anxiety you can’t quite shake no matter how promising the situation seems, a fear that drives everything you say and do.

Now another scenario.

You satisfy a guy, you think he’s nice and all, you have a good conversation, and he gets your number. While you’re pleased, you don’t go into a tizzy over it. You may check his Facebook profile, but merely for a few minutes. You are happy to hear from him if he calls or text, but you don’t notice the hours that pass in between your interactions. You go out several times , not expecting much, but soon enough your interest and attraction begin to grow. Things feel calm, there’s no drama , no heart palpitations and it feels really nice.

Which relationship do you think has a stronger chance of survival?

Instinctively, you would say the second one. In real life, you would fall for the first. That’s because the first scenario illustrates everything we’ve ever been told about love.

In movies and romance fictions, love is this grand, all-consuming force-out that takes you over in the most dramatic of ways. There are huge obstacles to overcome, but it’s OK because love subdues all! I entail, would any of us have cared for” The Notebook” if Ali and Noah were of the same social status, went on a few lukewarm dates, then got to know each other and developed a deepening connection over time? Don’t think so.

Unhealthy Relationships Start With a Pull

Relationships that start from a place of pure, unadulterated passion can seldom survive unless they have some substance and depth of connection to stand on. Explosive chemistry isnt what makes a lasting, healthy relationship. It can lead to great sexuality and feelings of euphoria, and you are able come to understand why they say love is a drug, but no matter how intense and all consuming, that sort of thing is seldom sustainable long term.

When you feel a strong and sudden pull towards someone else, the kind that causes you to turn him from mere mortal to deity-like being, something sinister is usually at play. OK, maybe not sinister, but something that isnt exactly what you would word romantic. There are a few good reasons why we might become inexplicably drawn to someone who isnt good for us.

Imago Theory

This theory, was put forward by clinical pastoral counselor Harville Hendrix, Ph.D ., posits that the pulling we feel towards another person is guided by our unconscious desire to rectify some issue from our past. Imago is Latin for image, and the theory essentially states that we unconsciously seek partners who reflect the image of our primary caregivers so that we can try to heal lingering wounds inflicted by them by working through issues with someone in their image. These relationships present the opportunity to mend ourselves and become whole again, but they also pose the risk of continuing to pour salt into open wounds.

How it pans out is something like this: if your parents always constructed you feel like you weren’t good enough, you may seek out guys who construct you feel like youre not good enough, then try to win them over in an attempt to rectify those painful impressions from your past.

If your father was very critical, you may find yourself drawn to a human who is very critical, trying to win his love and approving in order to heal from the hurt of your parents rejection. These decisions aren’t conscious, they happen very deep beneath the surface in areas we can’t easily access. When we satisfy someone, we immediately sense everything about him, especially the way he makes us feel( again, this happens unconsciously ).

On a conscious level, you are able assess the things he says, but on an unconscious level, you’re looking at his body language, his tone, the style he phrases things, how much eye contact he makes, his whole demeanor. If your unconscious finds something familiar in that person, something that reminds you of an unresolved hurt from the past, it will light up and push you towards that person.

You may also unconsciously seek out partners who have some quality that is underdeveloped in you. For instance, if you’re a Type A workaholic and always wished you could ease up, you may be drawn to a laid-back partner who isn’t so driven.

Maybe this sounds a little too New Agey to you, or perhaps it doesnt describe your situation at all, but its a powerful concept and it has gained a

lot of kudo and recognition in the field of psychology so its worth considering. I know Ive considered some of this at play in my own dating life.


Being infatuated sounds like a grand, romantic thing, but it can actually be quite dangerous. The problem with infatuation is it isnt based on anything real. Infatuation causes you to fall in love with an image rather than an actual person. It causes you to put person on a pedestal and overlook his flaw. Since he’s so “perfect,” you become afraid to be yourselfI mean, how could your true ego ever compete with perfection?
You don’t want to say the wrong thing and scare him off, so you aren’t genuine in your interactions. You rely on his approval so desperately that you also become a bit needy. You may not act needy, but it’s something that lurks beneath the surface and he will pick up on it … men always do. You lose your sense of worth because it becomes so wrapped up in how he feels about you.

Healthy Relationships Build Slowly

Healthy relationships usually begin with their common interests and attraction that grows over hour. This is the complete opposite of unhealthy relationships, which usually start out with a grand light show that promptly simmers into ash. If you can internalize this, it will change the route you date forever.

The most important trait to develop is objectivity. No one truly talks about that because its not so sexy, but if you want to find lasting love and prevent yourself from getting hurt, youll need to learn how to use your head a little more than your heart, at least in the beginning. Your heart can lead you into all kinds of bad places. Your heart is the one that tells you its a great notion to go for the bad son whos just so dreamy, even when hes out on parole and struggling with cravings, or has told you he wont be in a committed relationship, ever. Your heart convinces you that the heart wants what the heart wants and who are you to deny your heart? Your heart doesnt operate according to reason or rational. It builds you do things that you later look back on and wonder, what was I thinking? But you werent thinking, thats not what the heart does. OK, I know Im being mean to the heart. It does have its benefits, but that comes subsequently. In the beginning of a relationship, its best to remain as objective as is practicable and try to keep your feelings largely contained.

The best style to do this is to try to go slowly. Ease into the relationship instead of diving in head first. This will create an environment for you to allow your level of interest and attraction to grow steadily over day, rather than inundating you all at once in a big emotional tsunami.

If you spend all your time with him, you risk overlooking critical information about who he really is and if the relationship is built to last. Just because two people feel strongly for each other it doesn’t always mean they can be together.

It is imperative to have a foundation of compatibility, shared objectives and interests, and common values. Some things simply can’t be negotiated. Before you emotionally expend, it is wise to determine if you are fundamentally compatible. And the most effective ways to do this is to go slowly. I dont inevitably mean physically, I entail emotionally.

When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with him. You talk for hours and hours on the phone, text all day, you can’t get enough. The obvious reason this is problematic is because you may end up relying too heavily on the relationship for your happiness, but also, you don’t get a break from the emotional excitement and stimulation of it all. Then, if you realize this guy may not be right for you, you’ll be in too deep to get yourself out of the situation. You’ll instead rely on some clich like” love conquers all” to justify staying with him.

I am not telling to stay away from guys you feel a strong immediate attraction to and only date guys you’re only “meh” about. I think you should date both kinds of guythe infatuation guy could turn out to be a loser and the “meh” guy could turn out to be the love of your life.( I’ve seen it happen countless days !)

Either way you have to date smart-alecky. This will come more naturally with “meh” than it will with the is the subject of your infatuation.

If you just satisfied or just started seeing someone, I strongly advise that you try to limit how much hour you spend with him early on. Try to not go on more than two dates a week or engage in marathon texting conferences that go all day. When you do this, you never get a transgres from the emotional high and you dont get a chance to come back down and recalibrate.

So many daughters make the mistake of getting caught up in how the guy feels about them rather than focusing on how they feel about him.

You can avoid falling into this trap by doing regular reality checks. Make sure you watch him and the situation clearly. The best way to do this is to make sure you can acknowledge his flaws. The style you know you’re infatuated is if you watch no flaws. has flaws.

Why It Matters

When you get in over your head, you are able persuade yourself that something like him wanting to live only in the country and you wanting to live only in the city is not such a big deal. Person who maintains a more objective perspective would acknowledge that she would be miserable living in the country, and since this guy wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else, she would get out of the situation.

I’ve seen( and personally experienced) many situations where a couple violates up after a long period of time because of some issue that was apparent right from the beginningtheyre different religions, want to live in different states, one person doesn’t want children. In every one of these situations, the couple believed that things would magically just work up. Imagine how much time and endeavour they would have saved and heartbreak they would have avoided had they been dating with their heads instead of
their hearts from the beginning.

Qualities That Induce Him a Keeper

A lot of women write to me begging to understand why their relationships always fail why guys treat them badlywhy they always get hurt … why they can’t get a guy to perpetrate. The common thread in most of these cases is that these women are choosing men who clearly are not husbandor even relationshipmaterial and hoping that by some chance the men will abruptly transform into the knights in shining armor they want. This type of situation doesn’t exist anywhere aside from cheesy romantic comedies. If you choose to pursue a relationship with a guy who clearly isn’t relationship material, then you’re setting yourself up to fail before you even begin.

Trust me, I know all too well how seducing those injury examples can be. Sure, “hes having” emotional issues, he’s jaded, he’s struggling at work, he has no direction, he still acts like a frat son even though his acting-like-a-drunk-idiot-and-getting-away-with-it days expired years ago, but there’s a really great guy underneath all that and as soon as we deal with all this other stuff, then we’ll have an amazing relationship. I’m sorry, but no.

The problem with these damage cases is that they often have a lot of the qualities we want, but not the ones we actually need. There is a big difference between wants and requires when it comes to relationships, but it’s not always easy to induce the distinction. You might want a guy who is tall and strapping and charismatic and a CEO of a major company, but a guy with those credentials might have a host of other qualities that arent good for you and dont fulfill your fundamental emotional needs. My husband is the opposite of the “ideal man” I had envisioned for myself, but even though he doesn’t have certain qualities I used to consider requirements, he is exactly what I need. That was clear to me and everyone around me very early into our relationship.

When I reached that stage in life where I realized I was done dating for the sake of dating and wanted to settle down and find” the one ,” I realized that the kinds of guys I liked to date weren’t inevitably husband material, and I had to really examine my list of wants and needs and figure out the differences between the two. Doing so made all the difference. Suddenly the damage lawsuits who were once oh so appealing did nothing for me.

Whether you’re single, dating, or in a serious relationship, these are the most essential qualities you need to look for in a human, the ones that tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s the one and this is it.

He loves your good qualities and accepts and embraces the bad without making you feel guilty for having flaws. You don’t need to hide your true self from him and put on a front in order to be what you think he wants. You can share your true self and be vulnerable and feel safe doing so, knowing that if anything it will
induce him feel even closer to you. You don’t need to hide your true ego from him and put on a front in order to be what you think he wants. You can share your true self and be vulnerable and feel safe doing so, knowing that if anything it will
induce him feel even closer to you. He is there for you when you need him, even if it’s inconvenient for him. A partnership will sometimes require sacrifice and compromise. Life is unpredictable and unexpected. You can’t predict what will happen and nothing can possibly go as planned 100% of the time. A guy who is husband material will be there for you when you need him. He will be in it with you; he will be your partner in whatever happens and will weather the storm with you, even though he might prefer to stay in the sunshine. A partnership will sometimes involve sacrifice and compromise. Life is unpredictable and unexpected. You can’t predict what will happen and nothing can possibly go as planned 100% of the time. A guy who is husband material will be there for you when you need him. He will be in it with you; he will be your partner in whatever happens and will weather the cyclone with you, even though he might prefer to stay in the sunshine. He considers you when making decisions, both big and small. A relationship is a partnership , not a tyranny. Factoring you in shows that he respects you and that he wants to create a life with you , not simply envelope you in his world. Our worlds can be comfortable when we dont have to compromise, so it’s not always easy taking someone else into account and factoring in their wants and needs and predilections, but that’s what a relationship is. He is growth oriented. No one is perfect; we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and whiteusually a person’s greatest strength is linked to his greatest weakness. In a relationship, his behavior affects you( and vice versa) and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growth-oriented guy will want to work to strengthen his character. A guy who isn’t growth oriented will say its your problem and that this is just the style he is and you need to deal with it. For instance, let’s say you’re dating a guy who can be insensitive at times. Maybe he doesn’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day and instead merely gives you matter of fact advice in a direct way. His no-nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful to him in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you sometimes when he doesn’t empathize with what you’re going through and instead just tells you what to do about it, or gets impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something he doesn’t consider to be that big of a deal. You want a guy who will accept that his tone can come across as harsh and hurtful to you and who actually tries to work on it , not one who says it’s your problem and you need to deal with it. He likely won’t get it right every time, but if he’s growth oriented he will at least try. No one is perfect; we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and whiteusually a person’s greatest strength is linked to his greatest weakness. In a relationship, his behavior affects you( and vice versa) and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growth-oriented guy will want to work to strengthen his character. A guy who isn’t growth oriented will say its your problem and that this is just the route he is and you need to deal with it. He has similar notions and values. This one seems so obvious yet it’s so often overlooked. Love does not in fact conquer all. If you are not fundamentally compatible, you will face major obstacles ahead. If he is going to be their own lives partner, you have to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to issues that matter. And if you aren’t on the same page, then make sure he respects where you stand( and vice versa) and that youre both willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling understanding about your changes. Everyone’s values are different. For some, their values will be rooted in religion. Other people value a strong work ethic, while some value a commitment to a healthy lifestyle. It may sound trivial, but I’ve seen very serious, long-term relationships end because person or persons couldn’t deal with the other’s absence of aspiration or motive. This one seems so obvious yet it’s so often overlooked. Love does not in fact conquer all. If you are not fundamentally compatible, you will face major hurdles ahead. If he is going to be their own lives partner, you have to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to issues that matter. And if you aren’t on the same page, then make sure he respects where you stand( and vice versa) and that youre both willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling understanding about your differences. He views you as his partner. The relationship is something more than each of you individually … together, you and he are a team. And as that squad, you are both individually stronger than you could be on your own. He watches you as his equal, as a person of great value, person he can grow with. Not someone who is there to feed his ego, give him validation, be his emotional crutch, or be there exclusively to satisfy his needs. He respects everything about youyour thoughts, aspirations, sentiments, the things you say, the company you maintain, your job. He doesn’t make you feel bad about your life circumstances and he appreciates the person or persons you are and the choices you have stimulated. The relationship is something more than each of you separately … together, you and he are a squad. And as that squad, you are both individually stronger than you could be on your own. He considers you as his equal, as a person of great value, someone he can grow with. Not someone who is there to feed his ego, give him validation, be his emotional crutch, or be there exclusively to satisfy his needs. He wants to stimulate you happy. One of a men most fundamental required in a relationship is to stimulate his daughter happy. It may not always feel like it or look like it, but its true. In order to truly bond with a woman, a man needs to feel like he can make her happy. And when a man genuinely cares for a woman, he wants to do whatever it takes to induce her happy. Love is a altruistic thing. If you love people because they attain “youre feeling” great about yourself, then it isnt real love. When a human presents he genuinely cares about you and your happiness, even if it sometimes arrives at the expense of his own happiness, then you know his feelings are for real. One of a humen most fundamental required in a relationship is to build his girl happy. It may not always feel like it or look like it, but its true. In order to genuinelies bond with a woman, a human needs to feel like he can stimulate her happy. And when a human truly cares for a woman, he wants to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Love is a selfless thing. If you love people because they make you feel great about yourself, then it isnt real love. When a human indicates he genuinely cares about you and your happiness, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of his own happiness, then you know his feelings are for real. He communicates with you, even about tough issues and even if one of you is upset with the other. With the right guy, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for fear of rocking the barge. You know he respects you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be fights, miscommunications, arguments, and also periods when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only route to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together, and this starts with open communication. With the right guy, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for anxiety of rocking the barge. You know he respects you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be opposes, miscommunications, arguments, and also hours when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together, and this starts with open communication. He wants the same kind of commitment you want. A guy can have all the qualities on this list, but if he doesn’t want to marry you( or commit in the way you want ), or maybe doesn’t want to get married in general, then he is not for you. When a guy is ready to get married and gratifies a girl he thinks he can expend his life with, he knows fairly early on. That’s not to say hell get engaged right away, but he knows this is it and she knows it too. Maybe he tells her or maybe it’s so obvious he doesn’t even need to. It might be the wrong hour, maybe he wants to wait until he’s more established in his career or more financially stable, but he will still communicate his level of commitment; she won’t be left dangle and think and wondering. If he still feels like he has wild oats to sow and is drawn to the single, bachelor, party-boy lifestyle, he is not commitment minded and you are setting yourself up for letdown. If what you want is a serious, lasting commitment, make sure he is on the same page before you become invested. When a guy is ready for a serious commitment, it’s usually pretty obvious. And if it isn’t, then bringing it up and discuss it with him. If he’s spouse material, he’ll understand. If he isn’t then at the least now you know before it’s too late! And yes, I understand that not every woman induces getting married a goal and I respect that. But Im speaking to those who want a lasting commitment, be it marriage or a partnership without a legal piece of paper. A guy can have all the qualities on this list, but if he doesn’t want to marry you( or perpetrate in the way you want ), or maybe doesn’t want to get married in general, then he is not for you. When a guy is ready to get married and meets a girl he thinks he can spend their own lives with, he knows fairly early on. That’s not to say hell get engaged right away, but he knows this is it and she knows it too. Maybe he tells her or maybe it’s so obvious he doesn’t even need to. It might be the wrong day, maybe he wants to wait until he’s more established in his career or more financially stable, but he will still communicate his level of commitment; she won’t be left hang and guessing and wondering.

15 Things You Require To Know About The Life Of A Highly Sexual Single Woman

Ive been putting this article off for years now considering what people might attain of it. It takes a good bit of gallantry for me to write these types of pieces because old memories and the health risks judgmental thoughts of others sometimes get the best of my energy. Luckily, I can say that Im in complete control of my energy these days and I am now, as I always have been, very comfortable in my sexuality. Unfortunately, there are so many stereotypes, doubled criteria, and wrongful decisions that come with being a highly sexual girl, but Im going to make some of those things clear right now. So, lets get into it shall we ?!

1. Sex can be emotional, but it doesnt have to be.

This is arguably the most misunderstand fact about being a highly sex female. Sex can and most times is wholly physical for the woman indulging. This isnt only for female who are highly sex beings. Yes fellas, “its just” sex. Its stress relieving and therapeutic. Thanks for your time. Buh-bye now.

2. Masturbation is a way of life.

No shame in the masturbation game. At this phase, you dont even require the porn. A candlelit bubble bath and wine is all I need to get this party started.

3. Men are both intrigued and intimidated by you.

This is arguably the most frustrating fact about being a highly sexual female. Your sexuality is astounding to them( especially if theyve heard anything[ true or false] about you ), but your sexual freedom intimidates their masculinity as well. Dont let them tell you different. Its true. It takes a very solid human to deal with our kind.

4. Youre either a sex divinity or a prostitute in the eyes of others.

Simple as that. You cant just has become a confident woman who is comfy with her sexualityoh no. For most, youre either a sex legend or a stroll with a scarlet letter. The end.

5. All of your friends come to you for sexual how-tos and advice.

I actually enjoy these sections of being a highly sexual woman and other women like me are fond of it too. Because were comfy in our sexual behaviors, its nice to shed a little light on why that is. For me personally, I like to educate my friends and anyone who asks me questions so that they can find their sexuality as exhilarating and enjoyable as I do.

6. Sometimes she’ll cease after one hit.

The only thing worse than no sex at all is BAD sex. Period. You can bet your bottom dollar that you merely get one shot to wow a highly sex girl one time. Should you disillusion, she will NOT be back for seconds. I promise.

7. I fuck who I want, andfuck who I dont.

Thats the bottom line. Its never as many people as others would think, but either way we dont look at it as numbers. A highly sex woman has the leisure of picking her partners just as carefully as she opts her selfies. When you engage in a highly sex girl its because she selected you too. Believe that!

8. You get very few bad reviews.

A bad report doesnt happen often, if at all. Its a few moments of pride for us to share our sex drive and passion with those that we choose to experience it.

9. There is a difference between sex and love.

Again, this is another one of those myths that will really frustrate a highly sex female because so many people feel that we arent be permitted to connect or disconnect love and sex. Just because I am a highly sex girl does not by any means mean that I cannot be faithfully committed to one partner.

10. A healthy, lasting relationship is a very possible thing.

For those of you who do identify yourselves as a highly sexual female do not for any reason let the judgment of others force you to believe that the previously mentioned is not true and obtainable.

11. Nothing hurts like not now, babe.

At this phase in the life of a highly sex woman, her passion for her partner burns passionately pretty much all the time. Now, its no mystery that her exhort to make love is likely to be stronger than her partners, but that doesnt build the rejection for fun-time hurt any less.

12. Multiple times a day is not me being spoiled, its exert!

Again, when a highly sex girl observes a man that they are able handle her and wants to be with her and merely her, that passion for him is I N T E N S E to say the least. That means that yes, 10 hours out of 10 shes hot in the gasps for her man and if he lets her get onto, shes gonna go for it every time.

13. You constantly want to try new things.

A lot of love-making means you have to keep things innovative and fresh to make sure that you two wear one another out( winky face ), but dont get tired of one another. A highly sexual female understands the importance of going all out to keep her human happy and to keep the relationship on the up-and-up. Theres always new tricks to learn.

14. You have to be with a highly sex man.

This I am willing to debate, but from my own personal experience relationships have been healthiest for me when I was committed to someone with as strong a sexuality as my own. What do you think?

15. Sex with you is an experience.

Im willing to bet that any man who is in a relationship with a highly sexual woman has little to no complained about the intimacy the two of them share. The passionate, wild, sensual connection you share with person youre growing with is incomparable at the least while it lasts.

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This Is What You’re Like In Bed, Based On Your Spirit Animal


You’re playful, so you enjoy teasing your partner during foreplay as much as you enjoy sex itself. If there’s ever an embarrassing moment where you bump snouts or get stuckin your skinny jeans, you won’t dwell on it and let it ruin the experience. You’ll laugh about it, and somehow it’ll build the sex feeling even more special.


You exude confidence, because you know how skilled you are in bed. You also like to take control, which is why you have a drawer filled with handcuffs, blindfolds, and ball gags. Of course, you have a soft side, too. Once sexuality is over, you’ll be eager to cuddle until the sun rises.


You’re driven by your instincts, so if you’re in the mood for sex, you’ll initiate it right then and there without thinking thingsthrough. During sexuality, you’ll be just as straightforward. Your partner will never have to wonder what you want, because you’ll already be asking for it.


You’re drivenand focused, even during sex. You pay close attention to what your partner likes, which is why it’s so easy for you to get them to orgasm. Theylove sleeping with you, because unlike their past partners, you’ve actually taken the time to learn the way that their body works.


You’re cunning and creative, which is why there’s never a dull moment in the bedroom. Nipple fastens? Butt plugs? Double sided dildos? You’ll try it all. Of course, it doesn’t stop there. You’re the type who favor having sexuality outside of the bedroom, so it’s not unusual for you to get dirty in the back of a movie theater or in a bar bathroom.


Honestly, you don’t want to do any work in the bedroom. You simply want to relax and let your partner take control. Receiving oral is your favorite thing in the world, because it means you aren’t expected to move your body.You can simply enjoy the moment and then fallback asleep.


You’re active and adventurous. You actually likegetting on top, because it means you get to show off your hot body and hip thrusting skills. You also love trying new things, so whenever your partner mentions one of theirkinky fantasies, you’ll agree to act it out. No questions asked.


You get bored if you stay in one place for too long. You like to move around, which is why you’ll bending yourself into dozens of different positions during sex. You’re also a fan of the outdoors, so if you get the opportunity to have sex on a hammock or inside of a tent, you’re going to take it.


You have a strong intuition, which is why sexcomes naturally to you. You don’t really have to try to build your partner orgasm. It simply happens. Of course, you feel the most alive during late night hours, which is why you hate morning sexuality. You prefer to do itrightbefore you go to bed.


You don’t want to sleep with a stranger. You want to sleep with your best friend. You merely hook up with people youget along with well, which is why you always havean astonishing time in the bedroom. Even if you don’t end up climaxing, youwon’t care, as long as you got a good story out of it.


You’re independent. You don’t need a partner in order to have an earth-shattering orgasm. That’s why you don’t mind going home alone and masturbating instead. The orgasm you give yourself are usually more intense than the ones your partner would give you, anyway.


You have an excellent memory, so you remember every little thing that your partner tells and does in bed. You’ll never make the mistake of played with their nippleswhen you know they detest it. You’re the perfect lover, because you actually care about your partner’s feelings as much as your own.


You’re highly sensitive, so every touch feels intenseto you. If your partner does something small that you don’t like, like play withthe incorrect hole, you’ll run operating. But if they do something small that you love, like kiss your neck, you’re going to have the most amazingorgasm of your life.


You aren’t into the whole hookup culture mentality. One-night stands just aren’t appealingto you. You enjoy sex the most when it’s with the love of their own lives, because seems aren’t everything. You need to have a spiritual connect with person, as well as a physical one.

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25 Beautifully Banal Ways True Love Manifests Day-To-Day

1. Love is using each others razors or deodorant because it induces “youre feeling” closer in some weird style you can’t quite explain.

2. It’s also laughing over how bad your farts stink, and sometimes arguing feverishly over whose farts stink more.

3. It’s calling your significant other out for being an asshole, or letting them slide for their asshole behavior because they had a no-good, horrible, very bad day and they need a permission slip-up to be a dick temporarily.

4. Its negotiating constantly over ridiculous matters, and attaining silly bargains. For instance,” Ill consent to those questionable hurl pillows you agree to those kitchen towels I like .”

5. Its debating which TV indicate you should watch together next, and claiming the human rights of opinion certain programs alone so you can’t be accused of TV-cheating later.

6. Its giving your significant other a two-minute back rub before falling asleep even if youre depleted simply because they ask you to( and you know they’re good for the massage credit ).

7. Its establishing life-enhancing household rules like No Telephones At The Dinner Table Ever. And punishing each other appropriately on the occasions either of you contravenes an agreed upon stipulation.

8. Its looking into each others eyes whenever possible, recognizing also that eye contact is generally more powerful than anything that comes out of either of your mouths.

9. Its spending ten minutes neither of you has lazing about in bed some mornings after the alarm rings before you pick up your phones and dive into the day ahead.

10. Its telling your significant other that they appear sexy before they even ask for your opinion on the days you sense they could use the ego boost.

11. Its recollecting when your boyfriend or girlfriend has an important meeting and offering a canned but meaningful good luck as they head out the door.

12. Then remembering to text them an appropriately uplifting, emoji-ridden message right before that meeting occurs.

13. And preparing to support them no matter the outcome of that big important session because you’ve committed to being there whatever the fuck happens.

14. Its preemptively doing tiny little things to attain one another happy, like putting the laundry in the dryer even if you didnt start the wash, or tidying up the closet even if you didnt generate that hideous mess.

15. Its doing the dishes when its not your turning because you can sense that your partner might benefit from heading directly to the couch right after dinner.

16. Its saying thank you for every little thing your partner does for you. And sometimes, saying it for no apparent reason, without prompting, because you genuinely feel grateful for the life you’ve built together.

17. Its sighing slash smiling over the fact that your partner failed, yet again, to put the toothpaste or the salt or the remote control back in its designated place after utilizing itnot because they didn’t think to do so, but because they know exactly how to push your buttons.

18. It’s letting your boyfriend or girlfriend utilize you as an excuse to get out of something they don’t want to do.” Sorry, can’t make it to dinner.[ Insert s/ o’s name] is sick with the flu. Again .”

19. It’s entertaining your partner’s friends when they pop by unexpectedly, even when hosting is the last thing in the world you feel like doing.

20. It’s taking a genuine interest in each other’s hobbiesreading up about motorcycles or stamp collecting or football or whatever else tickles your significant otherjust so you can ask each other questions that demonstrate you care enough to research shit you don’t really care about.

21. It’s attaining up words so you can speak in your very own couple’s code.

22. Its encouraging one another to attain smart eating choices and to exert regularly because teamwork constructs maintaining healthy habits so much simpler.

23. It’s also attaining bad choices togetherlike gong for ice cream on a full belly or finishing a second or third bottle of wine on a weeknightfor the hell of it because indulging as a twosome is doubly satisfying.

24. Its saying I love you at apparently random moments, and then casually returning to whatever else you were just doing.

25. Its reminding each other that youre luck to be togetherand that you can’t imagine life without the option to collapse into each other’s limbs whenever.

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The Real Way To Get Engaged According To My Facebook Friends

There comes a time in our mid twenties when abruptly all the people you knew and loved and barely said a word to in 9 th grade biology class start getting engaged.

You think to yourself a variety of things such as, When did they even get an S/ O? and Wow they can do better to even I can barely feed myself three times a day or fold my laundry and these people CAN HANDLE A WHOLE OTHER PERSON ATTACHED TO THEM ALL THE TIME?

So here are the 10 buffoon proof steps to follow if you plan on getting engaged and screaming to the world I’M CHANGING MY TAX FORMS!

1 . Post a picture of spontaneous moment taken by a. some lurking friend or b . Professional engagement photographer if youre fancy. This must be at the top of a hiking trail, a beach, or scenic city. If not might as well not even hold yourself a HUMAN WORTHY OF LOVE.

2 . Post a scene announcing you are going to marry your best friend. This of course is replacing your actual life long best friend who you now no longer need since you are oh so to be marriage. Remember that romantic partners come before everybody else in their own lives. Romantic love is the most important thing in the world and if no one wants to marry you; you die from pathetic loneliness.

3 . Post a image proclaiming you are now the future Mr. Or Mrs. Whatever and throw away your last name. This goes for all sexualities. Bonus points if you keep it you progressive thing you! This must be written in fancy script on a rustic chalk board otherwise your name becomes I AM SHIT # 245642 on your birth certificate.

4 . Post a picture of your hand with THE Ring. Become the hand model youve always wanted to be. Clutch it, exhales on it, and if anyone tries to touch it shriek and hiss and go back to your hideaway in the bumpy mountainous abyss.

5 . Post a picture of you and your spouse together on this special day! Make sure you pose in such a way that communicates you will be boring mothers in 5-10 years.

6 . DONT. STOP. POSTING. EVER. The day is now for likes, loves, and wows. No one will ever give you this much attention than this year of their own lives again. The institution operates real deep and were all automatically obligated as humen to like people happy events.

7 . Post a status about how much you love your family and friends for all the subsistence and congrats. Genuinely drag it out; dont doubt yourself sunshine, youre the superstar of the prove!

8 . Reinforce to these same friends and family that this is the biggest accomplishment of your life and not your doctorate thesis, or community award, or Nobel peace prize. You dirty ole ragged thing discovered someone to schtup you on a regular basis for a while! Its truly something.

9 . Record the dress/ suit shopping, the planning, the bridal party invites( so everyone knows which friends get snubbed and destined to their fate as lowly regular guests ), the bridal rain invites, the golden rain invites, and every time you take a shit because now that shit is ENGAGED.

10 . Always remember to make sure you put the GAG in ENGAGED so people like me can be hilarious and bitter for the rest of our sad sad lives!

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