To The Girl He Didn’t Choose

To The Girl He Didn’t Choose

More likely than not, I understand how “youre feeling”. He violated you. Perhaps you werent in love, but he stole a piece of your heart, leaving you a bit more cynical than before. He liked you. He wanted you. He mightve even loved you.

But he didnt choose you.

He didnt choose you because he started seeing her before you; because you were moving; because it was bad timing; because of a lot of you cant even begin to fathom.

Unfortunately, the feeling of not being preferred doesnt go away so easily. Day after day, you will feel empty. Your heart: hollow. Night after night, you will have tears running down your cheeks. Your mind will race, trying to find an answer for why he preferred her instead of you. Was she prettier? Smarter? Funnier? Skinnier? Blonder, perhaps? You will be a complete mess and the more you look for an answer or reason for why he opted her, the less you will find. No reason will induce you feel better; no response will satisfy you .

Creating distance between the two of you would make it easier to forget him. But, regrettably, you cant seem to let go of him just yet. You will see him all the time. If not in person, then in your intellect. You will investigate every meaningless doubled tap on Instagram; every like on Facebook. You will answer every message; every Snapchat.

Anything to hold on to what was.

When you go out, you will be forced to see him with her. Forced to find him kiss her. Forced to see his hand placed on the small of her back. And despite the pain it will cause you, you will refuse to look away. You will refuse to end your friendship with him. You will feign it doesnt bother you and you will appear calm and collected. You will be mature about the whole situation and, as time passes, you will force yourself into believing you are actually over him. You will read the endless sum of articles online that tell you how to get over the one who will never love you back and how to forget about the one who didnt choice you.

They will tell you that you will be okay as long as you follow these ten steps. And, naively, you will follow them. You will try to do all of the following 😛 TAGEND

1. Delete him off all social media. Facebook. Instagram. Snapchat. Twitter.

2. Cut off communication with him. Let his messages go unanswered.

3. Realize that you are better off without him.

4. Stop cyber stalking the girl he selected instead of you.

5. Do yoga. Eat healthy. Work on yourself.

6. Buy a book. Read. Dont let your thoughts drown you.

7. Say yes to every opportunity.

8. Enjoy being single. Flirt. Date.

9. Focus on your future.

You will follow these steps and, when you are do, you will realize that none of them run. But youll still have hope. Youll hope he realizes he made a mistake; that he made the wrong choice. But he wont. In fact, he wont even second-guess it.

So instead, every night, take a shot before you go out. Begin to numb the pain.When you enter the bar say hi to him casually, but dont linger around too long.Order yourself a beverage and go talk to your friends. Dont let yourself crynot right now.

When he tries you out amongst the crowd to talk to you, casually sip your beer and engage your other friends in the conversation.When your eyes are beginning to water and he asks you whats incorrect, tell him that everything is okayeven though you feel like the world is falling apart.

When he pulls you away, grabs your hand, and tells you he hates “ve seen you” this style, smile and say you are fine.When he insists that you talk to him, tell him to go back to his friendsyou can handle this on your own.When he strolls away and goes back to her, take a deep breath and hold in those tears. Find a friend to talk to and dont look back at him. When the tears become too much to hold in, order an uberits time to go home .

When he tries to stop you from leaving, insist that you need to go, but that you will see him tomorrow.When he kisses you on the cheek, brush him off and say your goodbyes.When you are in the Uber, let it out. Cry. Sob.Try not to think about him. Try not to think about him with her. Try not to think about how he selected her over you.

Think about it anyway. Cry some morea lot more.

You are allowed to feel broken.When you are finally in your bed, mascara running down your cheeks, promise yourself you will never fall in love again. Promise yourself that feeling as low as humanly possibleas low as you do nowis not worth it. Promise yourself that tomorrow you wont care when you consider him with her. Tell yourself time will mend all. Believe it and, slowly, you will start to doze off.

Contrary to your notion, day will pass and, soon enough, he will be a mere memory. Your heart will stop throb and your life will gain meaning again. You will choose you and that will be enough. You will be enough .

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