To The Guy Who I Loved And Ultimately Lost

To the guy I loved and lost ,

Sometime ago I had a dreaming that I was in the prettiest white dress, and I wasjust about to walk down the aisle. As I approached the alter I assured the mostravishingly dressed-up guy; you. I was undoubtedly the happiest person in the worldas I looked into your bright and enchanting eyes. From your warm embrace, Icouldve reeked you as I leaned in closer. Your touch was so comforting, until I woke up and I realized I was alone.

Without your presence in my life, I live one alone, which is an excruciating and profound reminder that you are no longer a part ofme. We no longer speak to each other like we used to, but its already dawn. Its theday that I should start my life anew and I cant even rest at ease.

Within a few hours, I will arise from bedand do my morning routine. Ill shower and get dressed for my new task withcomplete awareness that you wont be there in the evening for me to tell you howmy day passed.

Subsequently, Ill likely be all alone feeing KFC while facingthe wrath of reality that the only person I want to talk to at the end of my day is theonly person I cant speak to.

I am basically a bomb might wish to explosion since it all happened. An entity of self-loath and loneliness was something I didnt think I was capable of being. That wasuntil I detected myself alone, staring at the four bedroom walls surrounding me andsobbing so uncontrollably, that I couldnt catch my breath . The night we broke up, Iinstantaneously packed up the stuff that you gave to me. I neatly folded your t-shirtthat I claimed from your DC comic collection. After which I cleared my room ofeverything that jogged my memory of your existence in my world. As a result, my room is also now beset with different things that remind me that, even though youre no longer present in my life; youd never be too remote frommy thinks. I can confess that there will be days that Id take that batman t-shirtand wear it as I pretend to be okay again . Ive started the procedure provided for in standardizing my life devoid of you in the working day ofyour absence. Gawkily filling the gaps that you once occupied with my black andwhite describes, old associates, all genres of movies and more ice cream than weboth can eat.

Despite all of my efforts to accept the situation and move forward, I constantly contemplate that with enough time, your decision will change. I hope that you want me in your life and there will be an us again. I anticipatethat youstill love me.

I keep thinking that youll change your intellect once again and insure meas the woman who will be standing next to you on the day of your wedding.

Wewould be the couple chilling on the sofa after we put the kids to bed. I imagine thatyou will reconsider your decision and return to me.However, I dont just want you to change your intellect. I want you to make up yourmind . I want you to make up your mind that it is you want, and show me that Iwasnt wrong to love you so unconditionally. I wanted to believe you when yousaid that you wanted to expend the rest of your life with me. I want you to make upyour mind that while there are lots of stunning women in the world, whod be betterin bed, that I am the only one you truly love. I want you to make up your mind thatIm the person that attains you the happiest and also give your life a new definition.

Unfortunately due to the circumstances, Im unaware of when or if this would everbe a reality, and thats the most difficult facet of this situation. There is thepossibility that the love of their own lives may simply not be me. Either style, I started my new occupation and Im still scared and nervousnervous asever. Youre the only person that can soothe me and tomorrow Ill be leaving homewithout your encouraging words that everything will be okay. You wont be ableto hear about it at night. Ill get through each day one step at a time while alsotrying to assure everyone that I am fine.

I am fine with the knowledge that youresomewhere else, doing something else and maybe with someone else. Ill expelyou from my mind and simply carry on. Until the working day I pass by the ice creamparlor and recollect your favorite flavor or even see your favourite color.Until the instant where my phone vibrates, until that creed or Shania twain songplays. Until I have to go to sleep. And until I have to fall apart and have to start all overagain. Without you .

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